Category: love

friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness

Tuesday Morning Musings

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Interesting exercise – how did you read it?  Please don’t run too far with your result – I read it as “life is nowhere” and immediately got upset with my self for not first seeing the more optimistic phrasing.  The beauty of course is that we can look at it again and opt for the interpretation which most closely aligns with what we believe.

Yesterday’s post prompted a response from Christine – her blog  TheBookOfAlice.com delivers a daily dose of delight (my how alliterative!).  She wrote that she was going to consider arbitrary  ‘love-bombings’ – placing Post-It notes with a positive thought in unlikely places.  I’m sure she wasn’t suggesting that one paper a wall with such messages (after all, she read “You Are Special” on the wall in a ladies’ room).  Ok, Christine, you’re on.   I’m going to do this today – the Post-Its and felt tip marker are already in my bag.  I realize it’s not the greenest approach, but what if one person takes the note to heart?  Puts it in his/her pocket?  Shares it with someone else?  Ok, I admit it’s a little hokey, even a contrivance.  It also sounds like fun and if I don’t get caught, a challenge to myself to do something a little out of the ordinary.  Yes, I admit – I’m feeling a little exhilarated.

Perhaps too, I need to put some more positive energy out there – and maybe it will return to those for whom I wish the most wonderful things.  Who knows?  Maybe it’s just about adding some new accessories to my daily outfit (metaphorically speaking).  Shel Silverstein, who delighted my children and me for years with his tender poems and stories penned a lovely little rhyme which seems apropos this morning…

May the hugs be with you.

 

 

 

discretion, friendship, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness

When All Else Fails

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“The universe is one of God’s thoughts” – Friedrich Schiller

 

What we do with our universe is obviously up to us.  It’s only Monday, and yet the horrors on the news – from the unimaginable nightmare in Aurora, Colorado to the violence in Syria; the relentless crisis in Darfur to the inhuman treatment of young girls as part of a social ethos in some  areas in the Middle East (and elsewhere).  The abuse of children and animals, the disregard for the after care of mentally ill adults who have fallen victim to the mass de-institutionalization efforts in our own country.  This list is not exhaustive and arguably doesn’t approach all that one can look upon with despair and impotence.

And I sit here in defiance, for I believe that free will is the distinction of our species.  We can choose to shake our heads in sorrow and disbelief and go on about our day, or we can shake our heads emphatically and opt for the better part of our humanity.  My commitment this week is to focus my posts on the magic of this world of ours,  the moments when laughter and love are the universal chorus.  This week I am going to celebrate our similarities and learn more about our areas of difference.

I received a note from a friend of mine today, referring to our budding friendship as a ‘gift from the angels’.  It was a moment in an otherwise aggravating day involving a slashed tire, unresponsive roadside assistance dispatchers and a perilous drive to the dealership on a doughnut that looked like it could barely hold its own for two miles let alone twenty.  Waiting on the side of a hot highway, trucks and cars passing too closely and quickly – a good Samaritan who came by after an hour and half and graciously helped me out (note to self – learn to change a tire).  His kindness erased my irritation (but not my sweat which was a bit unpleasant for us both I think).  I asked him what made him stop and he just shrugged and said that ‘this is why we’re here’.  Messages from angels if we pay attention.  I’m learning to listen to their words, and believe that they’re hanging out waiting for a little thank you and acknowledgement.

For friendship and love, laughter and forgiveness, faith in ourselves and in each other is a hallmark of who we are.  And perhaps it is during these darker days which promulgate so much disbelief and anger, that we are most responsible for staring it down with its most wondrous corollary.  Loving with a spirit that is unbowed, and humbled by the simple goodness that we can bring forward everyday.

friendship, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, music

Play It Again…Adam

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Since this has been posted so many times before, I think it is now incumbent upon you to just sing along…Sunday morning karaoke.  You’ve got everything you need – a cup of coffee, some rain to muffle any questionable notes, a spoon for your microphone.  You’ll get to the paper in a few minutes.  Right now, clear the cobwebs out of your throat, close your eyes and just start the day with a song.

friendship, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness

Grabbing The Moment

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Karma is a funny thing..I don’t fully understand it, yet I do believe that there are people, moments, lessons in our lives that we are supposed to notice and recognize for their inexplicable fantastic-ness (yup, new word).  I’ve always had that feeling..that if I didn’t notice the wonder, I would drown in the sorrow; if I didn’t take the opportunity to be kind, my heart would be assaulted with a severe case of the uglies.  To fully disclose – I am far, far, fa-a-a-r from any ideal – I’m as cranky as the next person, miss my share of wiggle-giggle moments, forget that the world is not as circumspect as my thoughts often are.  I should do more than I do and think about doing it less.  I take too many things personally and need to remember that just maybe, someone is going through his/her own turmoil and I’m not even a blip on their emotional radar.  I hate the phone and as such don’t talk with my sister, my family-in-law, or friends often enough.  The list could continue, but this post would be too long.

I do try though to pay attention.  I fretted mightily about the brand new bunny that fell into the pool yesterday.  I scooped him out gently and anxiously waited for him to move.  It took more than an hour – me slowly approaching him to make sure he was breathing; putting down a towel (why the heck I did that, I have no idea – did I think he was going to towel himself off?) and a baby carrot (after all he was a baby bunny, I figured an adult carrot would be too much); watching him through the window and wondering what the purpose would be if this harmless little thing died because he wasn’t watching where he was going.  Slowly he began to do more than just shiver, he cleaned himself off, huddled against the summer wind and considered his options.  When Andy came home he went down with the intent to carry him into the taller grasses – I really wanted to get him away from the pool!  Without any prodding, the little guy (or gal) hopped away – leaving both the carrot and the towel.

And while this little drama was unfolding, there were my friends sending Facebook messages checking on the bunny’s well being,  my son calling Andy to tell him that ‘mom is in crisis – hurt animal alert’, all this good ‘juju’ conspiring in the background to write a happy ending for this story.

Perhaps the best we do in our day is that which is invisible to us.  The person we smile at on the street, the parent juggling two toddlers and a supermarket cart full of food who we invite to go in front of us in line,  the butterfly that is freed from the space between the window and the screen.  And for some karmic reason, you get an email from someone with whom you worked just checking in to remind you that you’re missed, the kid at the drugstore gives you the biggest smile because you said “thank you sir” and he responds with “Thanks!  This is the first time any one has ever called me ‘sir’ ma’am”…(would that I could have said, “Wow, that’s the first time anyone has called me ‘ma’am'”…).  Silly, inconsequential moments all, I know…yet in total, also the magic of all things touching each other I guess.   And if that is how we get through – by noticing the moments in between – in between the frustrations, the disappointments, the stress – then bring it on.  I’m tellin’ you – that’s where it’s all happening.

friendship, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness

Still Learning..

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It seems only right to acknowledge that there are lessons one can learn daily.  This presumes of course that a) you’re looking for them, b) you have the luxury of stopping long enough to internalize them and c) you limit the distortion of your perceptions so that you don’t walk around thinking you know everything already.

Rather than write about the weekend in totality, I think I’m just going to share some of the more powerful takeaways…

– I can’t explain the existence of angels that sit on my shoulder any more than I can explain their alter egos jumping up and down like maniacs on the other.  What do you make of an email from a friend you have never met, reaching out to you because of a sense that you’re blue?  Hundreds of miles separate us,  I wouldn’t recognize her if we passed each other on the street – yet, we are connected in some inexplicable way that gave her clear, unfettered access to my heart on Sunday morning.  She wrote to check in; she just ‘had a feeling’…How incredible are moments like that?  How do you not feel that there is much about the universe that just defies explanation, but demands our gratitude?  And how stupid would we be if we didn’t stop to feel thankful?  Friends are gifts that are given to us – they have different parameters; different ‘past due dates’ – in that some will last for a while, others forever, some enter through a door you didn’t even know was open, and some need to move along for reasons that may or may not have anything to do with you.  Never ignore the presence of an angel’s wings – you’ll feel them against your check, as soft as a breeze, reminding you that you are connected to something far larger than you can imagine.  Yes Lori – I’m writing to you – with full heart and awe that you knew…

–  While walking by a crafts store I saw a listing of open positions for which they were hiring.  One title caught my eye – “Replenishment Associate”.  I think this means ‘stock clerk’.  And I suppose that I am a ‘domestic goddess’.  With this change in title, I now expect to be treated with greater deference.

 

–  My nephews are delicious, though I have learned that it is a bit unwieldy to have a 19-year-old sit in your lap or hold a 22-year-old in the same way you held him when he was two.  You do love them just as hard though..

– Your family may define you in one way, but it doesn’t define you in all ways.  Having most of my cousins over on Saturday reminded me how small our family has become, that there is still mystery inherent to birth order, and position within a familial hierarchy doesn’t change.  In most ways, you remain exactly in the same place – which can be both comforting and disquieting.  It is easy to succumb to a lot of the feelings of self-doubt and isolation that reside in the far corners of memory.  And as you slowly retire from those recesses and come back to yourself, there is nothing like having your sister there to remind you of the here and now, your sons to hug you one minute longer than necessary and your husband quickly anchor you and make sure you don’t  fly too far away.  If you look for reasons to feel loved or reasons to feel lonely, you will find both – choose love.

 

friendship, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, motivation

Stand By Me

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There has been some activity about a YouTube video that was recently posted showing the murder of a Mideastern woman named Najibia.  I haven’t seen the clip – my cowardice and horror renders me incapable of watching it.  That said, I have been told that it reveals members of the Taliban cheering and supporting her husband as he repeatedly shot her in the back of the head.  His reason?  Her ‘crime’?  There are no reasons one can conceive of;  there was no crime, for there was no mention of a trial.  To carry my sorrow one step farther, this murder was committed in the name of a religion.  It’s important to note up front that this isn’t a diatribe about the Taliban, one specific culture, etc.  It is about the reiterative chorus in the face of unspeakable acts as justifiable by religious belief.

I’m not sufficiently well-versed to write about religion.  My spiritual view is both simplistic and I’m sure there are those who feel I am wrong.  I know of no religion that isn’t predicated on love, grace and humanity.  I am not suggesting that there isn’t significant brutality in religious and global history – though each example underscores a lesson that we were intended to learn and can’t seem to permanently absorb.  We keep repeating ourselves.  Whether acts of cruelty are defined as acceptable by gender, sect, interpretation – we watch as people continue to be brutally killed, forced to act against their will, hearts mutilated by memories.

I don’t have answers – I can feel inadequate in my corner of the world, consciously ensuring that I walk gently on this earth and embrace love as a spiritual expectation that I honor.  And I know it isn’t enough.  I have to consider ways to do more.  And I have to remember that without hope, there’d be no miracle of another sunrise and another opportunity.

You may remember this video as part of a documentary “Playing For Change – Peace Through Music”.  It lifts us up to look in the mirror and see the best reflection of ourselves, it underscores that we are all composing this song as we go along.  And though we may not read from the same notes, love is as universal as ignorance.  And there perhaps is where God resides – in the longings of our heart.

friendship, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, music, parenting

In My Dream Last Night

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I think I’ve mentioned that I used to sing to my sons each night after stories and before bed (and before they would start goofing around with each other, climbing up and down the bunk bed, “Mommy, he won’t stay in his bed”, “Tell him to be quiet”, “Mommy?  Mommy? MOOOOOOOOM!!!”).  They typically picked ‘When You Wish Upon A Star’ or ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’.  I dreamed about this last night.  Their bedroom was decorated in a way that I wish I could have afforded, the lighting was different than the reality.  But those boys?  They looked as magical as little boys do, smelled of Johnson & Johnson shampoo, and were fetching in their He-Man pajamas.  I woke up with a wet pillow that I was holding so tightly I didn’t recognize at first what it was.  But I’m very glad it wasn’t a kid – I would’ve smothered him (or awoke to some serious screaming).

When Aaron and Theresa married last year, he and I met on the dance floor for ‘our’ dance.  And he whispered in my ear, “Mom, I’m gonna get you”…He did, he does,  he always will..

Wishing you a tranquil kinda Tuesday…

discretion, friendship, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, motivation

Love The Fool

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A lesson for today – at least for me.  I am guilty certainly of being foolish, feeling more than is good for me (sometimes I see the world only in primary colors, which can give you a migraine after a while), suffering my losses and not acknowledging my wins.  There are days when I cry over  nothing, my emotional strength sapped and my ability to get out of my way completely ineffective.

Conversely, when I am wrapped in joy – as one would be a really fabulous terry cloth robe – I don’t think about it as something to cherish, to protect or celebrate.  I delight in the moment, and do little to protect it from the harsher judgments that may later follow.  My friend Lori calls it the little green monster that jumps up and down on her shoulder, whispering the words of self-doubt and harsh judgments that can force us into a box we don’t want to enter.  I love her visual – and imagine that mine is more like a hyperactive Captain Hook (parrot included).  Regardless – they do the same damage – not just to your shoulder, but to your psyche.

What saves us from ourselves?  The delicious reality that we are – all of us – silly, frightened, impulsive sometimes and thoughtful other times, heroic in our hopes and dreams and timid when taking our first steps in a new direction.  We break – our exteriors not necessarily reflecting all the cracks that we have re-glued and secured with sufficient emotional scar tissue.

As I have written about protecting the child within us, so too must we tip our hat to the wondrous fool that should not be silenced, or diminished or devalued by our ever-present voice of  ‘should have, didn’t, and can’t’.  Would we react to our days differently if we cherished the fool with the same reverence with which we listen to our Capt. Hook?  If we remembered that both sides of who we are are of equal value and worth?

friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, music

Making It Mine

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Lucky for me, this song came up on my iPod at the gym this morning.  Typically, the music I listen to while working out is not this mellow, so I’m convinced that this was not serendipity – I needed to hear it.  There is little that moves me like music – and those who know me recognize that this has been my ‘go to’ since I was a child.  It can drive my mood, steer my thoughts, set my course for the day (far better than any GPS).

In my office at the firm, there was always something playing in the background.  People would come in just to hear what genre was moving my moments.  And there is really nothing I don’t like, which makes picking favorites difficult – although I do have certain people and bands that get a heavier rotation than others.

Something about the words to this song, the visual of hanging out at the ‘gratitude cafe’…hearing angels sing a chorus that’s just exuberant.  My only wish is that I posted this earlier this morning, with the hope that you heard this as part of your day’s beginning.  That it made you feel good.  My plan?  To make sure I make this day mine.  Let me know what you think…