life lessons

Either/Or

Hi Dave,

For whatever reason, your post this morning served as a kick in the butt and encouraged me to send up a signal. I’m still here with a site of my own, which I have neglected for months and months – I suppose I ran out of things to say (really, I did)…You have spoken for me and for many many more (DK’s site davidkanigan.com is a MUST) – and I am grateful. And when you have no words, you have photos that have an amazing vocabulary.

“I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.” – E.B. White

This has been my mantra and my excuse. My day starts with the best of intentions and quickly devolves into some shapeless passage of time. Doesn’t mean it hasn’t been a decent day of sorts – it’s just that the emphasis is on the amorphous quality to the passage of time…

Anyway, here’s what I was thinking, my friend…I’ve always been an either/or kinda person. It’s great or it sucks. I am happy or I’m not. The world is beautiful or reflects the most abhorrent, awful neglect imaginable. Let’s just say it makes for an unrealistic set-up of sorts.

When I was in grad school, one of my professors challenged this position, and it remains with me still. He asked me if someone can be both strong and weak; can the world be magnificent and hideous; can we live with perpetual dichotomy. Well, when he put it to me that way…

I am secure and scared; well-intended with a sharp tongue; humbled by the cardinals dancing in our backyard and full of self-deprecation when I forget to recycle. I don’t compost and I use only environmentally friendly ingredients in the garden. I am funny and I cry at Hallmark commercials. I am self-critical and feel the need to pat myself on the back some days.

One need not look far to see horror, to see people behaving in ways that are completely antithetical to saving the planet, saving each other, offering grace. One need not look far to see valor and commitment and tenderness, to hear giggles and music, to articulate appreciation for the heroes in our days. All in the same day, in the same place, at the same time.

So today, you can look over here – for I’m so glad you’re my friend. Full stop. No either/or. Have a good day, me