Swinging? Like On A Star?

Ok, at last check there have been over 19,000 hits on this little blog o’ mine, and I am beyond amazed that there are more than three people following me on a regular basis (well, seven if you include all the kids..um…eight counting my sister…ok, my sister-in-law and parents-in-law – that’s eleven).  I feel a responsibility to you – to be as honest as I can be and with any luck, be occasionally interesting.  If something tickles your inspirational fancy – all the better – it makes my day.

But there’s something going on in the media which is so blatantly flawed and untrue I feel it only right that I try to set the record straight – at least among my friends. You’re welcome to share this with whomever you choose, or just keep it entre nous – your call.

Every news channel, newspaper, e-magazine, etc is referring to Virginia and Florida as “swing states”.  Friends, I’ve lived in Virginia for twenty odd years now.  There is nothing ‘swinging’ about Virginia.  Nothing.  Nada.  Nil. If anything, we would take umbrage at the intimation.  Forget that whole ad campaign “Virginia Is For Lovers” – we’re as much for love as any other state (except Hawaii which is all about love).   We  have a lot of Civil War battlefields, Jefferson’s home (ok, there may have been some swinging going on there, but who’s here who can provide any specifics on that?), a couple of good amusement parks and some great wineries.  Arguably one could go zip-lining in the Shenandoah and you might swing a little if you choose to do that.  We have big malls, strip shopping centers, a lot of geese (who by the way are monogamous), farms and some gently rolling hills.  The swings in our playgrounds don’t even go very high (or low).   I have some friends who have experimented with ‘swinging both ways’ – but none of them live in Virginia.  They’re in DC and Maryland.  We don’t even do much swing dancing here.  Most of us don’t know how to do it (although my in-laws are quite good at this).

And Florida – really?  Have any of you been to Florida lately?  Of course not, it’s the summer – who goes to Florida in the summer?  And those people who live in Florida through the summer aren’t allowed out of their houses, for they’ll keel over from the heat if they venture forth.  Yes, DisneyWorld is there – and when I visited with the boys twenty-five years ago, some of the rides did swing a bit.  Save for that and the disruptions of hurricane-force winds, there is nothing moving in Florida, let alone swinging.  Wait, I’m wrong – golf clubs – yes, there are golf clubs swinging in Florida.  Is that what we’re talking about here?  And if so, what the heck does that have to do with any reportage about the election?  Does either candidate want to golf?  No one’s asked me, but I wouldn’t think now is a good time.

Sigh…this is but one of the many reasons why I’m a political neophyte.  If I think the terminology is strange and incredibly inaccurate, you can only begin to imagine what I think of the theatrical productions.  This is why I stick with Broadway – things really swing there.

38 thoughts on “Swinging? Like On A Star?

  1. HI Mimi, sorry this Canuck is going to have to disagree with you. can’t speak about Virginia, however I have to disagree about Florida, as any baseball fan knows every spring theres a whole lot of swinging going on in Florida. The grapefruit league had 15 teams when I was there in 2010. Remember stopping by Kissimmee, watched a lot of swinging which lead to a lot of scoring, and I mean way past first base.

    • Sigh…yes Keith, you’re right. I forgot all about spring training and all the bats and swinging going on (confined though it may be to the training camps). That said, this is swinging in the most isolated sense…Can you really think that Florida is a swinging state??

      • You lobbed such a soft one right over the plate, even a hockey playing Canuck couldn’t resit swinging for the fence, As to American politics, I’m glad I’m a Canadian.

      • Canada has some folly attached to its politics too..albeit not as persistently attention-getting as here. And what the heck, I figured a soft pitch was the right thing to throw to a hockey player??? 🙂

  2. Giggling madly, M! You are a riot. I can ONLY imagine what Rhonda is gonna do with THIS post….. ;-). I’m going to make popcorn and get set up by my iPad to watch. :-). Xoxox, l

  3. I can vouch for Florida. Thank you for starting my weekend with a deep belly laugh. So funny. Happy Weekend my amazing friend!

    • Still waiting for that picture madame…and I figured you would vouch for Florida…gorgeous views of the gulf and the ocean – check. Super weather in the winter – check. Swinging – um, no. Have a great weekend sweetie..

  4. Mimi, I can say with confidence that my in laws in Northern Virginia did not swing during their time. Before her passing, Granny even worried about the mulch levels under the swings in the backyard, and had great consternation about the safety of big kids on little kids swings.

    There is a lot more swinging here in Chicago, but people don’t seem to discuss it. Perhaps it’s because we are a solid Blue state. If truth be told, I notice people wearing a lot more black complimented by bright accents ( orange seems to be popular now).

    • There’s no doubt that Chicago is definitely more swinging.. Funny though, I’ve noticed that people are putting away their summer whites earlier here too and opting for the tone-on-tone black with a brightly colored accoutrement!!!

  5. Thanks so much for the laugh 🙂 I’ll refrain from making any Obama/golf remarks ’cause I’m tired of the whole thing. Much more fun to look at it your way! I’ve lived in both Virgina and Florida and I can concur with your theories regarding both states, with the obvious exception of spring training and golf courses.

  6. Ok…hmmm let’s start swangan’ shall we? I too lived in Virgin-ya fo yee-ahs, both bo-wez were bone they-ah…as we were Hampton Roads/Tidewa-dah area, perhaps we were a teensy bit mo-wah prograssiv than y’all noooorthun Virgin-yans. Could’a been the military influence. Aftah 9 yee-ahs it was time ta git. Howevah, the po-ant is…they-ah was a whole lot a’ swangan’ goin own down they-ah…and sorra te say, t’was us’lly betwain the laigs of a man in a uni-fowum. They-ah ah mowah (titty bahs) down they-ah than y’all kin swang a stick at. And those bo-wez in uni-fowum sho do love them some titties. Kind a like them folks up in Washin’ton I would s’pose. They seem ta specialiiiize in swangin’ dicks up they=ah too.

    (virginia has left the building…moving on down to florida)

    Alright…been there, done this. And Keith and Bonnie are right…bats and things better left to the imagination…ugh…no…don’t go there.
    Let’s just say back in the day of carpetbaggers and sellers of what nots…if you were selling slings for what swings…you’d be a freaking millionaire many times over.
    Yeah, florida is best left to those with limited eyesight, loss of feeling in their hands, memory problems, and an ungodly love of buffets.

    Lori…pass the popcorn!

    • I have to say honey, I struggled with your Southern accent, though I did get the point that thing happening in the Tidewater area were a bit more swinging than up here (where these activities probably take place in discreet hotel rooms at the Hay Adams or something)…And despite the prurient interests of some (even many), this is still NOT a state associated with swinging nor are we so happy-go-lucky as a state that we could collectively get on a very big swing at a playground and go really high..

      • well dog gone it. I had a certain southern woman in my head, a Ms. Sandy, talking the whole time and I tried to phonetically capture everything she said. Think I blew it. But yes, aside from the boys will be boys fun…VA is not what you’d call a swinging state. Think I better go find my funny bone, think I dropped it somewhere in a New Hampshire Port a John. Yikes! love ya Mim

      • I’m hatin’ that porta john for a thousand reasons..But it didn’t take your humor honey – that’s fantastically still intact. I sorta heard a little Scarlett O’Hara in there too (remember how innocent she tried to appear to Ashley Wilkes?? And in reality, she was a woman-in–the-know. Sound like anyone we know and love???)..xoxo

      • Good!!! Are you going to pick a picture for your gravatar image or am I going to be perpetually confused when I see your name come up with comments? 🙂 xoxo

  7. Ah yes, I am a bit slow catching on – then I remembered you are hotting up for an election over there. I had forgotten. So you were referring to swinging voters not the ‘R’ rated ‘swingers’.
    If it is like over here, be grateful that you are in a swinging spot as the swinging seats get all the hand-outs in election promises.
    And of course, an added comment, if I had opened my reader first, i would not have asked the question as to where you lived in my previous comment 🙂

    Great song by the way!

    • I was going to Ivon!! But when I included “High Hopes” in a post months ago, I was teased for pulling something up that was from so long ago..Truth be told, I was singing that song while I was writing! And it happened to be a clue in the weekend crossword puzzle..:-)

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