friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, love

Lighten Up Tuesday

I spoke to my husband for the first time twenty-one years ago today (or yesterday, I’m not the best with dates).  Long story short – I had just stepped on a bee, the boys were running around like Max in his wolf suit times two, dinner was burning and the phone rang.  After explaining that it wasn’t really a great time to talk, he asked what I was doing later in the week.  My response? “Nothing much”  His response?  “I’ll be out-of-town for the rest of the week”.  In my head I was yelling “then why the hell did you just ask me what I was doing all week?”, but I let it slide – my foot was swelling, we clearly weren’t going to get past this conversation and someone, anyone needed to go into time out.

Needless to say we spoke a lot while he was away and upon his return.  We’re coming up on twenty years of marriage – a stunning number to me.  He will tell you that I still have a pair of sneakers in the garage in case I need to run away; I will tell you that he can still tune me out better than anyone I’ve ever known.  We’re both right and we’re both wrong.  He lets me keep the sneakers outside so I feel I have the choice; I don’t press to be listened to unless I really need his attention.  We make each other crazy and we keep each other sane.  At the risk of cliché – we may not light up the sky, but we try to remember that we are here to light each other’s way.  And that’s pretty damn wonderful.   I hope your day is very well-lit and warmed with love  – as corny as that may be.  Happy Tuesday all..

anxiety, friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness

Sometimes History Bears Repeating

I drove back from the camp reunion yesterday.  That sounds so silly – a camp reunion.  The last time I had been there was oh, 38 years ago plus or minus.  I’ll cut to the end in case you need to know the ending first – I had a far, far better time than my anxieties suggested I would.

The hills seemed steeper, the bunk beds lower.  The stage I sang on – waaaay smaller.  I was recognized and remembered by people who I was sure considered me totally inconsequential.  I had the chance to see women-who-were-once-girls – my girls, and I hugged them with almost the same proprietary sense of love that I felt for them when they thought I was tall (at a whopping 4’11”) and they were indeed quite small.  I was astounded by some people who spoke of the difference I made while I was there – for such comments came from people who I was sure barely knew I existed.

In some ways so much was the same, and in other ways history was rewritten with a gentle hand.  The delicate balance between the teen-aged me and the adult me remained carefully calibrated to prevent any old hurts from reappearing.  And yet, I discovered that such protection wasn’t necessary, for that which I remembered had been softened and altered by others’ oral histories.   Time has been generous with people’s memories of me and permits me to think far more kindly of those summers when I was sure that I had one foot perpetually outside the ‘cool’ circle.  I did – and now it is okay – then, it was torture.

The girls?  The girls are still all incredible.  A writer (who along with her partner suffered my ambivalence with such kindness – and a little wine –  over the weekend), a talent agent and producer, moms, doctors, teachers,  non-profit volunteers.  Most happily married, some perhaps not; some  struggling with health challenges, others with tales of survival.  We spoke of our own kids, ranging in age from pre-teen to adult.  The guys?  Warm, funny, far more expansive as grown ups (and I’m not talking waist size) – and they’ve learned how to hug with heart.

It’s a funny kind of withdrawal one has when driving away with adolescence so clearly visible in the rear view mirror.  I cried as I waved goodbye, confident that with my high level of immaturity, I would see that girl again soon.  But the others who crowded my heart as I left?  Who knows what surprises life holds?  It is true though – they have never left my heart.

 

anxiety, friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness

Guess What Finally Arrived? FRIDAY!!!

Something tells me it’s going to be a wonderful Friday – and the perfect lead-in for a terrific weekend.  At least, that’s what I wish for you (and me too).  I’m off to a camp reunion.  Yes, the campers I haven’t seen in 40 years and I will hug as if they were still 8, and my peers who understandably won’t remember me because, well..because I was pretty forgettable.  This is me taking on something way out of my comfort zone, if you can’t tell.  Nonetheless, I’m off…So enjoy your weekend all, savor the thought that your best day hasn’t even happened yet.   I hope you let me know when it finds you.

friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons

And The Sunshine Belongs To….Everybody

I know what you’re thinking, “duh, Mimi – we are all adults with varying degrees of intelligence, but if this is first occurring to you now, then there is perhaps more wrong with you than you have been sharing.”  Ok – I was just hoping to get your attention.  I received a Sunshine Blogger Award today from a blogger who truly brings the sunshine with her every time she writes.  I love that she felt that I was deserving of such praise from her.  Her blog – ‘blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com – is a delight and I send her many thank yous for being so generous with me.

I’m going to be compliant..I will follow the rules.  Ten things about me –

1.  I was the first Jewish cheerleader at Hobart & William Smith Colleges during my sophomore year there.  Retrospectively, this is a bit of an embarrassment.  They chose me because they needed a really vertically challenged girl and I fit that bill at 5’o”.  I’m now a whopping 4’11”.

2.  My sister and I were in the opening clip of  a ‘blue’ movie when I was five and she was eight and half.  Our uncle was a film director specializing in the types of movies that used to be reviewed by Playboy.  We played passengers on a plane.  I got $2.00 for sitting on a plane in a hangar at LaGuardia Airport.  I didn’t understand why my mother so vehemently discouraged me from trying to get autographs.

3.  I have very long conversations with my dogs.  They always see things my way.

4.  Although my kids loved Mr. Rogers, there was something about him I found a little scary (with no disrespect intended to any of his family)

5.  After visiting and singing at The New Canaan Baptist Church in Harlem, I wanted to become a Baptist.  I also wanted Mahalia Jackson to be my mom (along with my own mom of course).

6.  I am religious about saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and meaning it.  The good news is, I get remembered a lot.  The meh news is that people like to tell me a lot about themselves, even if I’m in the ladies room.

7.  I name my cars.  I just got a new one – her name is Darcy.

8.  I believe that I must have been a very good person in another life, because as tough as some times have been in this one, I have been so flippin’ blessed, it blows my mind.

9.  I taught myself how to knit by watching YouTube.  I’m about as good as one would be who self-teaches by watching 4 minute videos.

10. I really believe that the care and  nurturing of our connection to each other is the key to our professional, personal, individual, familial, social and whatever-other-kind-of-success you can think of.

Ten nominees…I’m hesitating here, only because I got a little burnt before with a couple of responses of ‘thanks-but-no-thanks’.  I may be reiterative – I’m sorry.  And I’ll add Mimi’s rule – if you don’t like it, don’t acknowledge it.  But know that I think the world of what you’re putting out there and your willingness to share your talent and your journey.  In some cases it’s the writing, in others it’s the photography, others tell a story I want to understand…

Missunderstood Genius

Manage.Better.Now

Dr. Bill Wooten

Lifeyum

Help Me Rhonda

Donna & Diablo

Adventures In Borderline Land

A Door To The Past

Girl On The Contrary

News Of The Times

Ok…as you know, I have no skill with posting these awards on my site, but that doesn’t diminish my appreciation one iota.  Thank you..I love the idea that somehow to some people, I’m associated with sunshine.  That makes me very happy.

anxiety, friendship, humor, inspiration, leadership, life lessons, love, management, mindfulness, motivation

What’s Love Got To Do With It? Probably Everything

I don’t think anyone gets to hit their thirties without carrying some baggage.  The twenties are a period where we practice at adulthood, and when we screw up (as we are all wont to do), we have the most reasonable explanation in the world – “I’ve never been an adult before, this whole on-your-own thing is new to me.”   Basically the twenties are life’s Mulligan (no I don’t play golf, but my husband does and I love the idea that someone can get a do-over  just by asking for it).

The blessing and curse of growing up is the amount of luggage you need to carry.  The smaller suitcase from childhood holds irrational insecurities, the first glimpses of the unfairness of life and the undergarments of self-doubt (has to be underwear, cause it’s light and carrying something too heavy is very tough on a child’s back).  The valise packed to capacity with the hurts of adolescence, the pain of unrequited love and the romance of love that involves back seats (unless you’re from NYC – no back seats available because no one drives), passed notes in class and hallways, whispers and every love song written with your love in mind and promises that typically get broken.  The passionate belief that you know who you are and the equally jarring awareness that you have no idea what-the-hell-you’re-talking-about.  By the time we enter our late teens and early twenties, we’re probably carrying at least one  suitcase, a couple of carry-ons and a backpack.  And that’s presuming that life hasn’t over-burdened us.  I won’t belabor the decades that follow, for each brings another piece of luggage with a personalized I.D. tag.  I’m not even sure if we get a pair of wheelies.

At the end of the day, we’re all juggling an awful lot of baggage.  Whether you are a life partner, friend, or a supervisor of other people – recognize this fact.  I have had the unparalleled joy of working with bosses who picked up a suitcase for me on occasion, so that I could bust through a challenge that I was struggling to successfully meet.  I have been the supervisor who happily let my colleagues know where they could store their luggage so that they had freedom of movement and a chance to feel lighter.  Sometimes they never came back to claim their stuff – and that was just fine with me.  I have also had bosses who  intentionally opened my baggage to see if they could add to its weight (I’ve since bought some luggage locks) – or gave me one more piece to hold.

So from where I sit this morning (in the kitchen at the round table, btw) after a tough night with little sleep and the vulnerability that comes from feeling a little too uncomfortable, I think how lucky I am that my husband helps with my luggage.  How much I try to help him lighten his load.  There is a point in all of our lives when we realize that we’re holding on to more than we need to – and if you have people around who can help you unpack a little, sort through the worn out stuff that no longer fits and discard that with historic expiration dates – offer up a thank you and just think how much lighter you feel.  Happy Wednesday my friends – smile.

discretion, friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness, motivation

Remembering Grace; Forgetting The Snark

Well may I be the first to tell you that I have the technological expertise of a gnat – presuming the gnat lacks much of an elevated intellect or facility with anything other than bugging people (good pun…).  I have been trying to cut and paste, paste and cut, copy urls, open images in other tabs…I have a headache.  I’m getting the message.  I am not meant to post any more on my page than is already there – it is crowded enough with archival references, comments, copyright language, etc…I get it, the universe has spoken.

Nonetheless, over the weekend I was fortunate enough to be given two awards from people whose work I greatly enjoy and with whom I am developing a friendship in the ether for which I am even more grateful.

I received the One Lovely Blog award from the wonderful writer of truthletsandthoughbits.wordpress.com.  Not only is her writing delightful, her generosity (and patience) comes through every post.

Simon Marsh accorded me the Sunshine Blog award.  I have written about Simon’s blog before, finding his observations and warmth as enveloping as a favorite sweater.

I am humbled by the praise – truly.  There have been a few bloggers to whom I have paid it forward, who clearly didn’t feel I was doing them any kindness.  They responded with a polite thank you, and a somewhat snarky perception of the lack of gravitas associated with these manufactured follies.  To them, I apologize and assure them I will never mention them again.  I will say though that no one is mistaking this recognition for a Pulitzer, a publishing contract or a stellar review from the New York Times Review Of Books.   Suggesting that someone makes you happy or makes you think or inspires you to wonder at the magnificence of a photo or a poem – I don’t know, to me that seems to be a mighty signficant reward in and of itself.   That is how I interpret these acknowledgements.  I may not be permanently posting them on my page, but that is a result of my extensive and embarrassing limitations.  It is not a reflection of my appreciation at all, for that I can demonstrate by thanking you again and again.

friendship, humor, life lessons, love

A Royal Revelation

It’s been a stunning morning – literally.  I was watching the coverage of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee, and suddenly it hit me.  Bear with me now…I think I am royalty.

I know – it shocked me too.  But frankly, there have been many subtle, and not-so-subtle clues about my true lineage, that when considered in their totality seem to reinforce this belief.  I began to give this more thought in the shower, and as slowly as the shampoo meandered down the drain, certain memories crept to the fore of my increasingly clean head.  Consider the following:

1.  My sister used to tell me I was adopted.

2.  After hearing the story of “The Princess And The Pea”, she put a Wiffle golf ball under my mattress, and…wait for it…I had a bruise the next morning!

3.  My first wedding occurred when I was eight years old.  It was pre-arranged as are many royal weddings, undoubtedly a marriage more of bungalows and favorable real estate in the Catskills, than affection.  That said, Stevie Kurstein was very cute, never hurled spit balls at me and I think we made a lovely couple.  My sister officiated and as I recall all the local glitterati were in attendance.  I wore a tiara  (it’s getting clearer to you now too, isn’t it?), a faux mink stole, bermuda shorts and patent leather Mary Janes.  I remember not being able to find my Cinderella-like clear slippers (which are now a  fashion ‘do’ if you like to dance on the pole, if you know what I mean), so the patent leather had to do.  The reception at the Dairy Barn was nothing short of the event of the summer.  Sometime later the marriage was nullified, though the details are somewhat hazy to me.

4.  Good manners were essential in our house.  How to speak to grown-ups appropriately – mandatory; how to set the table correctly for a multiple-course meal – compulsory.  We were expected to be gracious and arguably were held to a stricter standard than most of our friends.  Even dad occasionally lifted his pinky when drinking coffee.  In retrospect, this was probably part of their subtle efforts to groom me for my inevitable future.  Mom would even ask, “Is this the way you would eat if you were dining with the Queen?”  I mean – could it be more obvious??  I needed to be prepared for my coronation and the festivity to follow, confident that I wouldn’t slurp my soup or hit the tines of my fork against my teeth.  She didn’t want me to embarrass myself.  Sigh…had I only known.

5.  I was taught to sit both English and Western saddles (presumably the latter in case I was asked to go riding with an American politician or celebrity – or both).  True, I never developed an appreciation for the hunt, but I do love dogs and I definitely can put together a beautiful pre-hunt spread.

6.  Our family history meets the criteria of questionable characters and mischief-making.  Unrequited childhood crushes on cousins, marriages, divorces, too much flirting amongst the adults for my sister and I to fully understand (though we knew it was salacious – well, we didn’t use that adjective necessarily, but we knew enough to put a glass up against the wall to try and listen to what was going on), days and nights of reckless abandon (actually that was my entire first two years of college…).  There were some annus horribilus (or is it ‘horribili’)  for us as well – all part of the mantle one wears I suppose.  There were even odes written to my loveliness (ok, that’s not true, they were more like “There once was a girl from Jackson Heights…”).

7.  My mom used to tell me that she never imagined me to be the type to work as hard as I did.  Rather, she pictured me “sitting by a pool, eating bon bons”.  You might take this to mean that she viewed me as a non-contributing sloth, but I think she was trying to tell me that I was supposed to answer to a different calling.

8.  My sons are princes among men.  Brilliant, handsome, charming – who as teenagers also knew how to party with regal flair and flourish.

9.  As a child, I used to tie a blanket around my neck and pretend it was my ermine cape; my baton was my scepter.  I still have the scepter – two actually.  They’re made of titanium and are strategically placed on either side of my spine.  I don’t have any ermine, but my mom’s mink coat hangs in our closet.

10. I love a good handbag, and my nieces used to ask if they would inherit my jewelry when I died.

11. My home is my castle.  True, I define ‘castle’ quite loosely.

12. My virtues are more symbolic than actual.

Ok, there you have it…my mind is just reeling trying to absorb all of this.  I realize the likelihood of my assumption to royal status is a flight of fancy.  I am destined to remain anonymous and one of the people.  Alas, I will take pride in being a mini-matriarch of all that I survey and love.  I am now going to hold my freshly washed head high and drive to the supermarket.

humor, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness

Saturday’s Hope

My theory about weather forecasters is that with all their radar, doppler images, jet streams – they’re still wrong 50% of the time.  I always wanted a job where I could be successful and only be right half the time, but once again I digress…well, one more thing – I think their odds would be greatly improved if they were given a window.

Last night the weather gods were pretty ticked off around here.  Tornado warnings for the Washington D.C. area?  We were all too busy watching the different storm trajectories to head to the lowest level of our homes.  Thunder, lightning, frogs, locusts, a band of evil angels…oh, sorry – wrong story.  Although there was a lot of thunder and lightning and a frog somehow managed to hop into our kitchen from the garage.  The boys and their wives were safe, Sir Theodore had his Thunder Jacket wrapped securely around his shaking body (he’s not a hero in a storm) – all was fine.  And we had a rockin’ stormy night.

Tornado Warning
Tornado Warning (Photo credit: Bitman)

This morning, the air is freshly laundered and settles on my skin as a cool whisper.  The sun is going to rise today with renewed vigor – a reminder  that each day brings new promise.  As the night brought renewal to the day, I hope this weekend treats you with gifts of a little time for yourself, time with those you love and a chance to breathe some absolutely delicious air.

 

friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, motivation

A Week Of Surprises

Well this is has been quite a week – two awards – really??  Perhaps a more seasoned, sophisticated blogger would accept such accolades with greater serenity and a whole helluva lot more cool, but I lay no claim to sophistication nor experience.  And I have serious doubts about my ‘coolness’ quotient too.  So, I can respond with an enthusiastic thank you and gratitude.  I’m truly surprised and really pleased.  I’m not sure which tickles me more – being a recipient of such generosity or being able to introduce some of the wonderful talent that I take pleasure in visiting on a regular basis.

According to the rules of the award, I first and foremost want to thank newsofthetimes.wordpress.com for this award.  This is a terrific site to objectively discuss timely issues and share perspectives on subjects that are both far-reaching and compelling.  I’m always surprised by what the topic du jour is going to be – and am really impressed with the creativity reflected on this site.  Thank you again – and keep on writing!!

Next, I am supposed to recommend fifteen bloggers who I feel are deserving of this award.  This is a little tricky – for I have nominated some in the past who arguably don’t need one more award – they’re that good.  And yet, their names may appear again for their blogs are a constant source of delight, creativity and/or food for thought.  So here goes – I hope you can link to all of them.

Lead.Learn.Live.wordpress.com – David Kanigan is in a class by himself (and I mean that in the best possible way).  His posts have incredible breadth, heart and inspiration.  There are a host of things for which I could thank David – including the occasional ‘atta girl’ – this seems to be as good a way as any to express my appreciation for his talent and support to this novice.

The Grand Master/Little Master Series.com – I love the questions that are posed on this site, as the author strives to write books for parents and children which support strong values, confidence and compassion.

Help Me Rhonda. com – If you’ve never ‘met’ Rhonda – you’re missing a gift.  Funny, pensive, engaging and real – we have become cyber-friends of similar minds and sleep patterns!  Her writing never ceases to delight.

Girl On The Contrary.com – I’m laughing as I write this.  Her ability to find humor in the mundane, laugh-out-loud indignation at the little insults life can throw one’s way AND her excellent book recommendation make me forever in her debt.

Simon Marsh.com – Simon is a parish priest for an Anglican church in the north of England.  His observations of life, and the incredible generosity of his spirit always provides a peaceful respite, a place to visit where life’s complexities seem surprisingly simple.

Not Quite Old.com – Although none of us are getting younger, this blog and the adorable illustrations that accompany each post certainly gives one the impetus to make peace with gravity and maintain one’s humor.

Where’s My T-Backandotherstories.com – There is so much to this site – posts about the insults of illness and the aging, magnificent photographs from all over the world.  The delicate mixture of beauty and sorrow makes this site one I return to often.

Todd’s Perspective.com – You never know what Todd is going to post, for he scours the Internet for cogent articles, pictures, quotes that are as eclectic and different as one moment can be from the next.

Practical Practice Management – Tina offers up terrific posts about work life and management.  She can be provocative and thoughtful – and I appreciate that she is willing to tackle any number of sensitive issues.

supertucksmama.com and the book of alice  – Two blogs about two remarkable little children and their even more remarkable moms.  I just love checking into their worlds and see what’s new – for something always is!

I’ve just started reading these blogs and think you will enjoy them as much as I do – lifeintheboomerlane.com; magnolia beginnings.com; blessedwithastaronherforehead.com and tracie louise photography. com.  Whew – ok, I think I’ve met the second criteria!

Finally, I’m supposed to tell you seven things about me…hmmm..

1.  My profession has demanded that I be ‘out there’ yet at core, I’m a very insular person.

2.  My name is pronounced with a ‘short i’ in the first syllable, but down here in Northern Virginia, everyone calls me “MeeMee” (which would make my mother turn over in her grave).  That said, as a kid everyone called me “Mini” cause I was so short – sigh…

3.  I used to sing under the elevated subway in Queens where I grew up.  I’d try to hold a note for as long as it took for the train to pass.

4.  I am humbled by the people who have ‘found’ me over the course of the past year.  As I closed the door to working at the firm, and the concomitant loss of identity began to descend, another door really did open and it was one replete with love and some of the most amazing people I have ever known.

5.  I still cry when my kids leave to go to their homes – and the two married sons live only 15 minutes away.  Thankfully they still humor me and let me take them out on ‘dates’ like we did when they were little.

6.  My husband and I met by being set up on a blind date orchestrated by our two nieces when they were four years old and their moms (who were a little older).

7.  I am truly as corny as you imagine me to be.

Well, that does it for me today.  Thank you again – I am so thrilled to be part of this amazing group of people who create their unique magic out in the ether!

humor, life lessons

A Tuesday Musing – And My 100th Post

I tire of the Kardashians

The wanna-bes and might-have-beens

The housewives of the suburbs wealthy

Are caricatures of the less than healthy

Today the news broke with a sigh

That Justin Bieber ‘s camera shy

He decked a photographer while in LA

Then promptly left to tour Norway

Let’s not address the hostile drone

That Gaga’s a Madonna clone

Tom Cruise has a four octave range

He may be cute, but he’s also strange

I swear to you this all made the news

My ears just ache, my brain feels bruised

If this represents what we want to know

I think a desert island’s the way to go.

humor, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness

One Of Those Nights

I’m sure you know what I mean – one of those nights which just blends into the morning uninterrupted but for about an hour or so of sleep.  Although I will undoubtedly feel the effects later today, I have to tell you – it was a great night.  No epiphanies (admittedly rare for a Jewish person to experience, but occasionally I come up with something really good);  my body continued to rebel against the stubborn heat, with more parts aching than I even knew I had;  Sirs Arch & Theodore definitively won the battle for space on the couch, allowing me just enough room for them to sprawl on top of and/or and next to me.  I know, I could nudge them aside, but I never do – I’m a ridiculous mom, even for furry, four-legged members of our family.

But here’s the coolest thing…When I walked the dogs at around 1:00 or so, I looked up at the sky.  The stars seemed to be taking their places in the black expanse as if they knew where they were supposed to be.  Everywhere I looked, they were popping out and appearing to move from one point to another, jockeying to make sure that they were in their rightful place.  A starlit sky is breathtaking, one in which the stars seem to be waking up and assuming their nighttime positions is amazing.  And it got better – the fireflies were out en masse as well.  I was out there long enough to figure out that they don’t light arbitrarily.  I think they’re playing ‘Marco Polo’.  One yells ‘Marco’, while others flit through the sky before responding ‘Polo’.  I have a hunch the game continued long after we went inside, though I was hypnotized by all of this activity for quite awhile.  The night was resplendent with light and dancing and mischievous activity.  I stood there grinning like an idiot, convinced I had just seen the most magical of sights.

So much for a sleepless night with vapid tv choices.  The view from outside was so lively and magnificent, I would have stayed out all night.  Would have of course, if the mosquitoes had been asleep.

humor, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, parenting

So Lucky Saturday

I don’t think I have more fun than hanging with my kids.  Last night two of the three plus daughters-in-law were here for dinner, celebrating a birthday and anniversary (not mine).  Easing into the weekend with a lot of laughter,  some serous sidebars and multiple chances to wrap  my arms around these amazing people who I love with all that I have and then some.

Adult children don’t necessarily say adorable, wondrous things that can delight both parent and reader.  Their bodies no longer resemble the round, magically smelling perfection that I can still remember with all my senses.  They have to bend down to kiss me – a completely inverted calculation.  And yet, as often as we see each other (which is thankfully, often), as easily as we still share the thoughts in our heads and the secrets of our hearts – I am always left in tears when they head back to their homes.  I cry with gratitude – they are the most remarkable people; I cry with disbelief, for I truly don’t know where the time has gone (I mean really – have you seen me lately?  Who would think I would have a 30, 28 and 25 year old) and I cry because every time they go away, I want to keep them with me.  Corny stuff, huh?  I know, but there is no other way for love like this to be articulated – we’re past poopy diaper jokes, dirty baseball uniforms and unexpectedly found condom wrappers.  What we’re left with is a perfectly imperfect family, that continues to return to itself to restore, renew and reaffirm this story which is as old as time itself.

My boys…my boys…