anxiety, friendship, humor, inspiration, leadership, life lessons, love, management, mindfulness, motivation

What’s Love Got To Do With It? Probably Everything

I don’t think anyone gets to hit their thirties without carrying some baggage.  The twenties are a period where we practice at adulthood, and when we screw up (as we are all wont to do), we have the most reasonable explanation in the world – “I’ve never been an adult before, this whole on-your-own thing is new to me.”   Basically the twenties are life’s Mulligan (no I don’t play golf, but my husband does and I love the idea that someone can get a do-over  just by asking for it).

The blessing and curse of growing up is the amount of luggage you need to carry.  The smaller suitcase from childhood holds irrational insecurities, the first glimpses of the unfairness of life and the undergarments of self-doubt (has to be underwear, cause it’s light and carrying something too heavy is very tough on a child’s back).  The valise packed to capacity with the hurts of adolescence, the pain of unrequited love and the romance of love that involves back seats (unless you’re from NYC – no back seats available because no one drives), passed notes in class and hallways, whispers and every love song written with your love in mind and promises that typically get broken.  The passionate belief that you know who you are and the equally jarring awareness that you have no idea what-the-hell-you’re-talking-about.  By the time we enter our late teens and early twenties, we’re probably carrying at least one  suitcase, a couple of carry-ons and a backpack.  And that’s presuming that life hasn’t over-burdened us.  I won’t belabor the decades that follow, for each brings another piece of luggage with a personalized I.D. tag.  I’m not even sure if we get a pair of wheelies.

At the end of the day, we’re all juggling an awful lot of baggage.  Whether you are a life partner, friend, or a supervisor of other people – recognize this fact.  I have had the unparalleled joy of working with bosses who picked up a suitcase for me on occasion, so that I could bust through a challenge that I was struggling to successfully meet.  I have been the supervisor who happily let my colleagues know where they could store their luggage so that they had freedom of movement and a chance to feel lighter.  Sometimes they never came back to claim their stuff – and that was just fine with me.  I have also had bosses who  intentionally opened my baggage to see if they could add to its weight (I’ve since bought some luggage locks) – or gave me one more piece to hold.

So from where I sit this morning (in the kitchen at the round table, btw) after a tough night with little sleep and the vulnerability that comes from feeling a little too uncomfortable, I think how lucky I am that my husband helps with my luggage.  How much I try to help him lighten his load.  There is a point in all of our lives when we realize that we’re holding on to more than we need to – and if you have people around who can help you unpack a little, sort through the worn out stuff that no longer fits and discard that with historic expiration dates – offer up a thank you and just think how much lighter you feel.  Happy Wednesday my friends – smile.


30 thoughts on “What’s Love Got To Do With It? Probably Everything”

  1. How appropriate today’s blog is as I look around the guest room, quite overwhelmed, by the unpacking, both mental and physical, that lay ahead of me as a readjust to by new/old surroundings. Thanks to you mimijk for often holding my bags and often knowing when I need them held before I even ask. By the way, I never knew what a “mulligan” was. Great concept. Learned something new and the day is still young. I, too, count among my blessings a man who does love me enough to ask me to wait to unpack until he gets home. Between your early morning “hole in one” and his desire to always help lighten my load and carry a bag or two, today is going to be stellar. Hope your day is a well. ❤

  2. This whole mulligan thing should just be a rule of life – why they only apply it to the golf course, I have no idea.. 🙂 Welcome home sweetheart – I love thinking that your first full day home is aligning to be wonderful!! Love to your family…<3

  3. This post really resonates with me today as well. I’m engaged to a wonderful man who’s certainly done his share of heavy lifting over the past couple of years. During my divorce I was surrounded by some very special friends who helped me carry all my crap, with nary a complaint. Made me realize that you can let go of an awful lot of ‘stuff’ when you’re blessed with people who love you no matter what. As you so wisely said, “There is a point in all of our lives when we realize that we’re holding on to more than we need to…” and when ya let that go, you indeed feel lighter. 🙂 Thank you for saying it so eloquently….

    1. Congratulations!! I am SO happy that you and Mr. Right have found each other. It’s funny to me (in a good way) how our lives have so many parallels – but that is probably best for another forum. I’m glad you have been able to lighten your load. I think divorce brings with it a whole set of luggage unique to the experience itself, and requires guns of steel for arms, and back muscles that would make a bodybuilder blush with envy), not to mention staying power. I hope that from now on, you never have to carry anything that exceeds the weight limit, and if possible feels as light as a feather. 🙂

      1. Oh Lori – Thank you too for ALWAYS being one of the first people to read this blog. I love seeing that you were here…

  4. Ok, technical difficulties there with the response. 😦 What I was *trying* to say was that you’re absolutely right about the muscles, and Thank you! 🙂 I look forward to starting my day with you….

  5. How true, Mimi. It has taken me years to realize that life-all of it-is about love. What else truly matters? Thansk for the reminder on this naughty munchkin morning…

    1. Other than good health – no much else in my book. Is your munchkin testing her limits this morning? There’ll be a good story forthcoming, I bet…

  6. Not only the amount of baggage, but the number of ways it shows up in daily life is frightening! I can laugh when I understand where some of my fears come from, but nothing funny when they show up. In my opinion, the key to managing luggage is to understand you have it. You are on your way!

  7. Hi Mimi, great post it made me think of a book that my Aunt Dollie gave me a few years back when I was struggling with what direction I wanted to take with my life. The title is “Repacking your bags – lighten you load for the rest of your life” the authors are Richard Leider and David Shapiro. This book is great for helping you sort through the baggage and deciding what to throw out and what can come along for the moment. I have read it twice so far. We need to continually repack our bags as things change it is like doing spring cleaning. Thanks for the reminder that it is spring again and maybe I need to take a look to see what I have in my bag that I can get rid of 🙂

    1. Hi – thank you so much for the award! I do think that we can unload some of the packed luggage we carry. We get so used to having it with us, we don’t realize it’s shelf life past a long time ago.. 🙂

    2. I can’t thank you enough..I love your blog, and if I’m able to give you half of what your writing provides me, then I’m a happy camper!!

  8. Just one word – WOW!! While reading your post, I was nodding with consent. I realize that I am holding on to more than I need to – and yes, I have people around who can help me unpack a little and discard few with historic expiration dates – I will offer a thank you to a dear friend of mine who helps me through and ofcourse few of my bloggers friends who bear with my ranting and still never fail to leave my side. I already feel much lighter :).

    1. Now THAT makes my day!! And btw, I just nominated you for ‘The Sunshine Blogger’ award..So not only are you lighter, you also make the world brighter..

  9. I’m in the process of unpacking ! Oh, the hidden pieces we find! And how heavy they’ve been and slowed us down..keeping one’s “eye on the meatball” helps me put one foot in front of the other, recognize the spaghetti I get tripped up by, and allows me to think about picking up the pace! Thank you for reminding me that baggage can be put down and left behind!

  10. When I was a young man, after a very short and miserable childhood, I set out to go to the ends of the world, and find what was good. And one of the first things I discovered, was that it’s a real hassle carrying luggage. I thought, I’ve only two hands… so I’ll just carry two pieces. And then, when I discovered the backpack, I only carried one. Of course, after finding a lot of good, I went back home… and discovered the real treasures. But even then, I would only take what could be held in the backpack. And as the years went on, I moved from a rather large one to a pretty small one. It’s filled now, with the things I love most in life. I liked your story very much.

    1. And I appreciate that the things we love most in life can be carried with us with tremendous portability…no wheelies, porters or additional baggage fees necessary..

  11. Again, how perfect to repost at this time. Season is in overtime and I am getting antsy to unload another year of baggage; some still strangles me but for the most part I am learning to “Let it Go”. Thrilled as always to hitch a ride on the karma truck. Looking forward to hearing how the physical unpacking in progressing, but from your lack of sleep comment I can draw my own conclusions, offer to help with a box or two and send a whole bunch of love for the adventures yet to come. Can’t wait to see you and we can help each other throw a couple of bags into the dumpster. I’d say it’s time. To the moon and back. All there is.

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