anxiety, friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness

Carry The Weight

mimijk

I’ve written about my view that no one gets past the age of thirty without carrying some emotional baggage.  I think I also noted that after a while  you can choose which bags you may still need to carry and which you really need to leave on the side of the road (please don’t donate them – nobody needs what’s in this luggage).

So here’s a question for you to begin your day – if you had the chance to carry all the splendor of light on your back, you’d clearly have to let go of some stuff.  What are you going to let go of?  It’s time.

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Published by mimijk

Woman of a certain age…mom, wife, grandmom, sister, friend, mentor, advisor, perpetual ponderer. “I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning difficult” (E.B. White)

86 thoughts on “Carry The Weight”

  2. Short and to the point and such huge implications! As an “over 30” girl with a whole designer set of “baggage”, I love this post!! Thank you.

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    1. So gently put – I’m a healthily ‘over 30’ too (and in fact, become a new number today)…let’s drop some of our designer accoutrements together, ok? On three..1…2…

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      1. 3….ah….so much better. Think of the money we will save at the airport now with only one carry-on! Have a great “New Number” Day!! 😉

  3. Ooh, Mimi, what a provocative question (and a *fabulous* illustration I might add). Ok, I’ll bite. The first bag (and it’s a BIG duffle) is the belief that I have to be perfect in order to be loved. Impossible, unrealistic goal and clearly misguided, as I’m blessed with some amazing people in my life who love me warts and all. And for that I am eternally grateful….

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    1. Now why does it not surprise me that you and I would be carrying the same duffle bag (which is quite heavy may I add)?? And you are right – you are loved because of all that you are (I know this because I’m one of the people who loves you). In fact, my hunch is that people find perfection a little over-rated – for those who try to be perfect are typically insufferable. So there’s the paradox – we think we have to be perfect, with the additional insecurity of knowing that we will never be – nor would really want to be. You’re spot on Lori – we have got to put that one over on the side of the road. There’s too much light you carry into this world for you to be holding on to this too.

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      1. Chuckling…such a good point, Mimi! Here I am striving for some thing that, if I’m honest, doesn’t give me a “warm fuzzy” when I see others that I perceive have “reached the pinacle.”. Discovering someone has a chink in his or her armor is often such a relief–perfection just isn’t, well, much Fun if ya get down to it! ;-). Ok, I’m all in–just turned over a leaf on a new year, and gonna do my damnedest to remember your words and the Buddha’s: “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve Your love and affection.”. Xox

  4. Working on de-cluttering on a daily basis. Traveling with smaller bags forces one to get rid of some old stuff . Like everything else it’s a process. You put it so succinctly, I may actually begin to lighten my load soon. That would be in honor of today; a gift for you and a gift for me. Tho’ today is your birthday, you have provided the reader with a gift as well; great and thought-provoking words. My wish for you in the coming year is that you travel light wherever your travels take you. Looking forward to be part of the journey always.

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    1. You my cherished friend, can let go of some of those bags right now – I know what’s in your arms, and there is lightening that can occur…:-) And it would be a gift I gratefully accept and hold dear. I’m trying to lighten up my load and know that you will always be a part of my travels – wherever they may lead…xox

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  5. Why is it that I think you’ll find at least four people with very similar baggage we need to throw off the crazy train? I read your blog on my phone, half asleep, and without a moments hesitation I knew the answer, So, I’m sure it is #1 on the hit parade. It’s the feeling that I’m not good enough. How many times have I said “Is nothing I do good enough” to have the recipient of that remark stare at me and say “What the hell are you talking about?” Well, that’s because it’s me that’s saying I’m not good enough and it definitely needs to go.
    Wonderful post as always and I caught your comment above so…Happy Birthday, you wonderful person. I am blessed to know you. You are truly an inspiration to me. You are rockin whatever new number you are turning today. Lots of love to you.

    Reply

    1. Thank you for the birthday wishes…I’m rockin’ 58 this year – fortunately I’m far too immature to wear it with any gravitas..
      You are so right…”not being good enough”..And you know something? None of us ever packed that bag!! It was packed by other people, with other agendas and other perceptions – not our own. So while we’re throwing this enormous suitcase away – let’s get those peoples’ messages out of our heads too? We put them in there, we can take them out.
      And btw, in my book you are WAY more than good enough. You’re flippin’ awesome!! Much love..

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      1. You are absolutely right. And for the record, those bag packers fell short in many ways themselves. Thank you Mimi and have a fantastic day. A glass of birthday champagne times 4 in October! I’m petitioning to make mine a national holiday : )

      2. I’ll vote for that!!! October needs a national holiday – and it should be your birthday!!
        And let’s not even begin to discuss how far short those bag packers were in their own ways..

  7. Nothing wrong with a small piece of baggage as long as it fits in the overhead compartment. It’s the “luggage” which causes problems. Those large trunks people drag behind them, weighing them down. I’ve certainly had to deal with my own luggage over the years. Finally found a ditch big enough to dump it into on the side of the road. I’m much more aerodynamic now! LOL

    This is a great post Mimi (and a timely one for me as you know). Kudos!

    P.S. – Happy Birthday 🙂

    Reply

    1. I am SO happy you unloaded that truck you were lugging around…:-) I can only imagine how streamlined you are!! 🙂 Thank you for the b’day wishes too..hugs, m

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  9. I’m leaving bits and pieces along the side of the road (not littering…I checked). As I discover new strengths, I discard old weaknesses. A few biggies are still there, but getting rid of some of the smaller ones has freed up some muscle power for those. Kind of a snowball effect of emotional trash removal…

    Happy Birthday you Wonderful Side Kick you.
    xoxo

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    1. Leave it to you to ensure you’re not littering…Fear not, most of this stuff is compost if you know what I mean, and bid-degradable..:-) I love that you’re letting go some stuff so you can travel light. You’ve got places to go babe, you don’t need the extra baggage costs!! Thank you for the b’day wishes Wonder Woman, I am ever at the ready your, Sidekick

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      1. You are 100% correct…most of it is compost and may just end up doing more good where it lands than it ever did in my inner garden. I know each deposit to the heap makes the next one easier.
        Now trusty SK…go forth and enjoy your get away…the mountains await! Will think of you and your loves whiling away the hours in the best way possible. And hey, have fun w/the kids too. Always special times when you can all be together.
        xoxo
        WW

      2. Well it sure wasn’t doing your inner garden any good – and that is a pretty outstanding garden so only put good things in there..:-)
        Not leaving til Thursday – so more to come from me between now and then. For now – it’s off to errand-land…xoxo

  10. Oh, the baggage! I have somehow managed to lighten the load along the way, but it always seems that there are one or two pesky little items that can get stuck in the bottom of the bag – one of them is that ubiquitous not good enough thing…It surprises me each time I find them again, and again, but I’ve learned to accept them as my teachers – I just wish I didn’t have to relearn the same lessons over and over, but perhaps I haven’t fully absorbed them yet? Wonderful post and love the comments – finding the real person vs. the perfect person is such a comfort, a relief to find the real. Happy Happy new number day to you, wonderful real you! 🙂

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    1. Thank you Bonnie – it’s been a wonderful day so far…!! I love the idea that these people/outdated, fictional perceptions are there as teachers. And perhaps if we regard them as such, we don’t have to carry any additional baggage of theirs – just recognize that they are ephemeral reminders of what we choose NOT to believe. You are so remarkable that anyone or thing or even that would suggest otherwise, has really past their shelf life. You don’t need those lessons anymore – you just need to realize that you’re all that Miss Thing, and then some..You are wonderful and real and fabulously imperfect and no one would want you any other way!

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      1. So glad you had a wonderful day, well in order for you! I raised a glass in honor of you for your birthday while out with my friends today! 🙂 I love the way you put it, that these ‘teachers’ are reminders of what we choose to NOT believe – I love the pivot, such a perfect way to turn it around { & kick it in the a**! 🙂 }. They ARE such outdated perceptions that somehow get replayed, or revisited when something hits the trigger. Mimi – sometimes my words get stuck between my heart and my mouth [fingers typing] and today that’s true…sending you big hugs to say thank you for your big heart, your wonderful, real and fabulous heart, and for sharing it with me xoxo birthday girl!

      2. I don’t think your words are turned around at all – I can’t thank you enough for connecting with me and sending your friendship so unreservedly – along with the hugs!! I am beyond grateful that you’re heading my way soon!! I love the way you think my friend! And love being able to call you ‘my friend’ xoxo

      3. I might need the tissues again 🙂 The gratitude is mutual my dear; that you receive and share equally, this wonderful, rare treat of friendship. I love the way YOU think, and to me this gives new meaning to like minded cyber souls. xoxo my friend. Mwah! 🙂

      4. I love the term ‘cyber souls’ – that’s awesome and resonates deeply with me!! That these feelings are reciprocal is truly icing on a delicious cake – the kind that leaves a mustache when you’re done…Mwah right back at ya and a big hug too!!

  11. Great picture, I too believe in traveling with as little baggage as possible. My sweet Aunt gave me a book A few years back called “Repacking your bags” you might want to google it some time, i have read it twice, it is a life changing book as we keep moving on our trip here.

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  12. Ooooh, good question. I would have to go with Magnolia Beginnings on this one. The nagging feeling that I am not good enough. But also the need to please. That has GOT to go. I can’t please everyone and that needs to be OK. Thanks for making me think about how I can lighten the load!

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    1. And every once in awhile, remember who put the idea in your head that you weren’t good enough. Chances are it wasn’t someone or someones who you would invite to travel on your karma truck. Chances are also pretty good that their perspective on many things you don’t even agree with..So why not invite them to take their baggage elsewhere? It’s not yours to carry…:-)

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  16. This is one of my favorite posts from anyone in a quite awhile I love it! I love it so much that I just decided to reblog it. Thank you for sharing it, Mimi!

    Russ

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  17. Hello Mimi, JOYEUX ANNIVERSAIRE to a wonderful lady, enjoy your very special day. Best wishes from Luxembourg, Mireille

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    1. Merci beaucoup ma amie! Comment ca va? J’espere tous va bien (is that right Mireille?)…Thank you for your birthday wishes! I hope your family is well..I thought you were going to be moving to the States? Is that still the plan?

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      1. Very very close, I am impressed. Yes I will move sometime, have to work a little bit more :o)…
        Family is doing great, Randy is back in Minneapolis working hard, it has been so hot that everybody is ordering a pool (can’t complaint about that). Any trip to Europe soon?

      2. I’m so happy to hear that all is well…I don’t foresee a trip to Europe any time in the near…perhaps later in the fall or early winter. And perhaps straight to Luxembourg since I’ve never been there. Fingers crossed!!

  20. hello lovely mim i saw 53 comments and thought oh she wont need my little comment on there but after reading some of them it seems to be your birthday ? if i got it right then i couldnt pass by without wishing you a very happy birthday my lovely friend and really babes you should be off pampering yourself having a fabulous time 🙂 i really do hope you have a super fabulous birthday you have my greatest respect xx

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    1. Thank you my dear kizzylee – and no matter the number of comments, I so welcome yours!! Thank you for the birthday wishes – it’s been a love-filled day. We will wait to celebrate until we are all together this weekend – which is fine with me. I am beyond happy and blessed and grateful for wonderful friends such as you…I hope you are all set up for a relaxing evening…xoxo

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      2. Laughing – I’ve never thought I was going to cure anyone..and given that you are the other side of my coin, I would never be so presumptuous. But you’ve gotta admit, you might just improve your speed. Maybe, feel a little lighter – but hey, far be it for me for throwin’ that out there..

      4. Man’s inhumanity to man? The aging rail system? Lousy food at a restaurant? No-talent authors? The 2012 election? Gun control or the lack thereof? Waking up too early? Should I continue??

  22. Reblogged this on Jan Deelstra and commented:
    We have an internal governor that goes off at around age 30, alerting us to get out shit together before it’s too late…. (yes, I said, “shit.” It’s that important!

    Reply

  23. Firstly, before I get carried away and forget to say it, Happy Anniversary of your arrival on the third rock (no, I did not just imply that you were an alien [;>]) ). About the baggage thing, being a run through the wringer over 50 type person, I’ve accumulated more baggage than Britney Spears on a 3 month vacation. Fortunately, I lost most of it when my ex “lost” me. The one big bag that I would gladly toss to the ground (and even set fire to and maybe roast marshmallows over) is the feeling of disconnect with the world (and that same recurring Guchi bag full of not worthiness that I see so many here carry). In pondering your proposition that we toss away some baggage in return for the ever so light load of light, I would postulate ( I love that word) that it’s not a matter of what we are willing to toss away, it’s a matter of what we MUST toss away in order to even consider taking up the anti-burden of light. I think I’m rambling again, so I’ll stop here 🙂

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    1. Thanks for the b’day wishes…And I think you’re right – with the caveat that you really know what you must toss away – and not just discard the easy stuff. Hope that makes sense..

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      1. It makes perfect sense. Prioritizing baggage, just like the airlines do. One pile for “goes on the trip with you” and another pile for “lost and never seen again”. 🙂

  25. What to let go of well the short answer is the negative in my life, the long answer well to be honest I have no bloody idea what I would let go of since the negative is often only one side of a coin…………

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  27. If I carried all the splendor of light on my back my face would be a shadow. I believe we need to make peace with our darkness. It’s like lighting candles in the daytime, they’re much more interesting with some dark.

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    1. Beautifully put…and arguably we do need to make peace with darkness. I still maintain that there is much that we can dispense with over time – heavy baggage that we don’t need. No doubt we all have some fascinating elements to our darker sides – but let those be of our own design, not someone else’s.

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  29. “Each of us has the right and the responsibility to assess the roads which lie ahead, and those over which we have traveled, and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the roads back uninviting, then we need to gather our resolve and, carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be ready to change that as well.” – Maya Angelou

    Reply

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