Time to get barefoot, kick back and enjoy…Have a great evening all..
Thoughtful Thursday
Oh Al I swear, you’re a genius! Even before ‘multi-tasking’ became part of the social lexicon, you were decrying its effectiveness. Good on you big guy, and lucky for the woman you were kissing in the car. Better to pull over and focus. A taboo idea I know – doing one thing at a time and getting it right.
When I was at the firm, he who juggled the most balls in the air without dropping any, won. Yes, there were migraines, emotional short-circuits, missed anniversaries and birthdays – but man, could people juggle conference calls, client meetings, intra-office drama, toggling between dual monitors in their offices while checking Blackberries and texting on their iPhones. Conversations – if that is what one chooses to call them – were stolen in the Starbucks line, or in fifteen minute intervals, or checked in a box.
You’re right – balls got dropped. Perhaps not the ones that determine the size of a year-end bonus, and most assuredly not those that would compromise the zealous representation of one’s clients.
I spent a lot of time with people who had dropped the other stuff along the way – without thinking that the ramifications would be so profound. The parent who routinely watched her daughter play in a sports tournament while emailing on her iPad and chairing a conference call and genuinely fretting because she and her child weren’t close; the husband who couldn’t reconcile the wonderful woman he had married with the raging, angry alcoholic she had become – for she had never shown any signs. The affair that grew over time because neither person was ever home long enough for intimacy and friendship to grow roots there – though they insisted they tried. They didn’t intend for this to happen. The thrown blood clot that resulted from excessive time on planes and trains. The pseudo-friendships that ended up defining one’s inner circle because there was no time to cultivate genuine loving relationships, and the resulting isolation and loneliness that prompted yet another script for antidepressants. The young associate who wept in my office upon discovering that this brass ring for which she had sacrificed much was not what she thought it would be and didn’t want to ride the carousel anymore – but for the enormous debt, mortgage and car payments.
No signs? Really?
I didn’t judge it then, I’m not judging it now. I do find the sincere disbelief…well, surprising. We all struggle to do the right thing in the face of competing demands and increasing competition. But what do you want to win? And who are you kidding if you think that everything you are juggling has equal weight and heft, allowing you to balance it all equally? The reality is that those weights change and morph according to time and circumstance. Sacrifices will be made and balls will drop – that’s the reality. There is also this inalienable truth – you have to decide what to focus on, what values you will only compromise so much and how to give the people you love the best of who you are. Maybe you should focus on that kiss.
I am reblogging Ivon’s post because his blog typically inspires the thought and consideration one would typically give a teacher who captivates you. I am appreciative of the inclusion in his list of bloggers and intend to check them out – as I hope you do too!! Thank you again Ivon! I am truly appreciative and am typing with a big smile on my face – even though it is before 5AM…
Before I post, I wanted to acknowledge inspiration is reciprocal. Each day, with anticipation, I check my email and follow blogs I subscribe to.
I have gained a considerable amount from blogging, but is humbling. When I began, I had few visitors, no likes, and no comments. Gradually, this changed and blogging became rewarding in and of itself as I learned its nuanced context. It is still humbling in two ways. First, when I check creative blogs posted about passions people hold dear, it impresses me with the process and product. Second, I keep it real . Statistically, the blog I follow with the largest following has about 15, 000 followers. This is about 0.000002% of the world’s population and my 300 followers is about 0.00000004%. Against the odds we form a small, appreciative community and share parts of our lives. Thank you.
Thank you Kay Lynté at Thinking is…
View original post 185 more words
While We’re On The Subject Of Love
If you didn’t see this video when it went viral, you missed a treat – and a wonderful moment in the lives of these two people. If you did see it, you can’t deny that it’s worth seeing again. Is there anything better than feeling the love and dancing along? Take a time out and enjoy.
ps. Hey Andy – I love you
Puppy Love – Literally
Ok, I’m a dog person…a crazy, mushy dog person. I get the whole cat thing – really I do. We’ve had cats in our family and when they snuggle and purr and deign to acknowledge you with an arbitrary display of affection, it feels good. But for me, there’s nothing like a dog. Teddy sits in my lap while I write, Archie encourages me to forget what I’m writing about by bringing me his ball in a never-ending game of ‘stop-taking-yourself-so-seriously-and-play-with-me’. Neither of them are going to score off the charts on any canine I.Q. test, but they would be in Mensa if the requirement was affection and loyalty. Teddy did get a certificate once for being ‘Perfection In Fur’ – but that was because he didn’t really take to the training for which completion certificates were issued. And it’s true, neither is particularly discerning, and were it not for the barking, a robber would be made to feel welcome. Ah well…they’re my guys..
And here’s a weird one for you..the first dog we got when we moved here was Bubba The Wonder Dog. And he was a wonder dog – probably could have been a brain surgeon but for his webbed paws and absence of impeccable hygiene. A big guy, Bubba would sit on my lap during our regular drives up to NY and NJ – 70 lbs of lap dog. When I was diagnosed with this funky autoimmune issue, Bubba would just stay with me on the bed, he’d lick my face when I cried and made it very clear that he was going to be my side 24/7. After each surgery, Andy would hold Bubba and lift him onto the bed so that he could arrange himself for the duration without bumping up against some unpleasant incision somewhere. Bubba was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease too and when living became too much for his body, I couldn’t handle my sorrow. How could we both get hit with the same ball??
This isn’t about sadness though – it’s about connections that we make that are not necessarily human-to-human. Connections that reflect unconditional love, no pretense or guile, devotion and trust. The lessons we absorb about ourselves, friendship, nurturing…the laughs we are given by goofy looks, a relentless paw, wet licks and unexpected havoc when a certain you-know-who has to get his wiggles out. Puppy breath and Buddha bellies that just beg for a rub…growing into four-legged friends with a capacity for love and devotion that in many ways is unparalleled. We learn how to love from many teachers and in many ways. If you have a bad day and feel just bummed with the way the world behaved towards you – just look at your dog’s face when you walk in the door. He’ll remind you that you’re better than all the rest…
Post This
I did! I have post-it’ed messages in lots of fun places today…This one was put on the napkin holder at Uno’s…
The Post-It notes had one of three messages – “You’re Terrific”, “Smile” or “Have A Wonderful Day”… I started at the gym, surreptitiously placing notes on the handle of an exercise bike, on the mirror in the locker room and on the windshields of two cars in the parking lot. Honestly? I felt both tremendously silly (and I do silly very well) and sneaky (I don’t do that as well) . Onto a quick meeting, where I left one Post-It on the panel of the receptionist’s desk and again on a windshield. At Starbucks I put one on the cash register (there was no one behind me in line – the place was empty for a change), left one on the sugar/cream counter and in the ladies’ room…Boldly I strode into the supermarket, where some unsuspecting soul will find a message on a package of chicken breasts, a yogurt container and the cover of a “Newsweek”. And yes, another parking lot, another car…
Talk about stepping outside one’s comfort zone! I haven’t passed hidden notes since junior high. The best part of course is not knowing who the recipients are and recognizing that some will crumple them up and throw them away. But maybe, someone will see it and smile, or laugh or shake his/her head while looking around to see if anyone remotely culpable is standing around. Maybe it will make someone feel good on a really bad day, or maybe it will make no difference at all. The best kindness is that which is extended with no expectation of anything in return, and given my stealthiness I am confident that I will remain unconnected to this crime of good fun. My thanks to Christine for the inspiration behind this atypical day. How fun it was to step outside myself for a little while. How intrepid and bold of me!! And if it provided a small giggle for someone today, then all the better.
Perhaps as the karma truck keeps rolling along on its path, it will stop to pay the kindness forward. Not to me, but to those I love – my sons and their wives, my son and his girlfriend. Maybe the truck will make a pit stop in their respective driveways, and give them the blessings and peace and joy that they so richly deserve. Perhaps it will stop near the homeless person who plays his sax on a corner in DC, or swing by someone who is bowed under the strain of getting through the day. And that my friends, would be more than I could ask for – just because I ‘love-bombed’ a few unsuspecting souls today.
Tuesday Morning Musings
Interesting exercise – how did you read it? Please don’t run too far with your result – I read it as “life is nowhere” and immediately got upset with my self for not first seeing the more optimistic phrasing. The beauty of course is that we can look at it again and opt for the interpretation which most closely aligns with what we believe.
Yesterday’s post prompted a response from Christine – her blog TheBookOfAlice.com delivers a daily dose of delight (my how alliterative!). She wrote that she was going to consider arbitrary ‘love-bombings’ – placing Post-It notes with a positive thought in unlikely places. I’m sure she wasn’t suggesting that one paper a wall with such messages (after all, she read “You Are Special” on the wall in a ladies’ room). Ok, Christine, you’re on. I’m going to do this today – the Post-Its and felt tip marker are already in my bag. I realize it’s not the greenest approach, but what if one person takes the note to heart? Puts it in his/her pocket? Shares it with someone else? Ok, I admit it’s a little hokey, even a contrivance. It also sounds like fun and if I don’t get caught, a challenge to myself to do something a little out of the ordinary. Yes, I admit – I’m feeling a little exhilarated.
Perhaps too, I need to put some more positive energy out there – and maybe it will return to those for whom I wish the most wonderful things. Who knows? Maybe it’s just about adding some new accessories to my daily outfit (metaphorically speaking). Shel Silverstein, who delighted my children and me for years with his tender poems and stories penned a lovely little rhyme which seems apropos this morning…
May the hugs be with you.
When All Else Fails
“The universe is one of God’s thoughts” – Friedrich Schiller
What we do with our universe is obviously up to us. It’s only Monday, and yet the horrors on the news – from the unimaginable nightmare in Aurora, Colorado to the violence in Syria; the relentless crisis in Darfur to the inhuman treatment of young girls as part of a social ethos in some areas in the Middle East (and elsewhere). The abuse of children and animals, the disregard for the after care of mentally ill adults who have fallen victim to the mass de-institutionalization efforts in our own country. This list is not exhaustive and arguably doesn’t approach all that one can look upon with despair and impotence.
And I sit here in defiance, for I believe that free will is the distinction of our species. We can choose to shake our heads in sorrow and disbelief and go on about our day, or we can shake our heads emphatically and opt for the better part of our humanity. My commitment this week is to focus my posts on the magic of this world of ours, the moments when laughter and love are the universal chorus. This week I am going to celebrate our similarities and learn more about our areas of difference.
I received a note from a friend of mine today, referring to our budding friendship as a ‘gift from the angels’. It was a moment in an otherwise aggravating day involving a slashed tire, unresponsive roadside assistance dispatchers and a perilous drive to the dealership on a doughnut that looked like it could barely hold its own for two miles let alone twenty. Waiting on the side of a hot highway, trucks and cars passing too closely and quickly – a good Samaritan who came by after an hour and half and graciously helped me out (note to self – learn to change a tire). His kindness erased my irritation (but not my sweat which was a bit unpleasant for us both I think). I asked him what made him stop and he just shrugged and said that ‘this is why we’re here’. Messages from angels if we pay attention. I’m learning to listen to their words, and believe that they’re hanging out waiting for a little thank you and acknowledgement.
For friendship and love, laughter and forgiveness, faith in ourselves and in each other is a hallmark of who we are. And perhaps it is during these darker days which promulgate so much disbelief and anger, that we are most responsible for staring it down with its most wondrous corollary. Loving with a spirit that is unbowed, and humbled by the simple goodness that we can bring forward everyday.
Play It Again…Adam
Since this has been posted so many times before, I think it is now incumbent upon you to just sing along…Sunday morning karaoke. You’ve got everything you need – a cup of coffee, some rain to muffle any questionable notes, a spoon for your microphone. You’ll get to the paper in a few minutes. Right now, clear the cobwebs out of your throat, close your eyes and just start the day with a song.
So Cool Saturday
It’s going to be one of those delicious, rainy days – the steady rhythm of drops against the roof, the clouds proudly looking on at the product of their efforts. Rain…it’s cooling the parched ground and the leaves are now stretching up and up, reaching with exhilaration. And I have the rain’s permission to hang back and snuggle into my home. Some reading, some music, some silent thoughts as I try to understand how karma even fits into the tragic events in Aurora, Colorado (if you think I have answers for this one, please don’t bother reading further – I don’t). I’m going to remind myself to be a bit more grateful today, love a little better today and hold time a little closer and yet more gently.
But I’m also gonna get my groove on – cause that’s just how I have to roll. It needs to carry me to that fundamental place that we all identify with and recognize as part of our uniqueness and part of our connection to the greater whole. So without further ado, for your Saturday listening pleasure…Keb Mo
Once again David Kanigan’s blog Lead.Learn.Live is so outstanding, it would be wrong not to share it. What a cool guy Lucas is, how priceless the looks on the faces of the people he meets. How hopeful are the two words “thank you”…
Lucas, a Brazilian man, moves to Australia and is grateful for the country and its people for open their arms to him. On his 30th birthday, he decides to thank 30 complete strangers in Sydney by handing them each a gift. “Man’s first responsibility is to be happy…The second is to make everyone else happy.” Video is paired with beautiful music (This is the place where I feel at home…).
30 gifts to 30 strangers in Sydney from Lucas Jatoba on Vimeo.
Related Feel-Good Video Posts:
- Perfect Darkness
- Did you enjoy your story?
- Water & Rocks…(South Island, NZ)
- Walk in Nature
- Soak in San Francisco
- Tap. Tap. Tap. On the heart…
- Of Souls & Water…
- Africa in Black & White
- Beauty in Motion
- We are all connected…
Grabbing The Moment
Karma is a funny thing..I don’t fully understand it, yet I do believe that there are people, moments, lessons in our lives that we are supposed to notice and recognize for their inexplicable fantastic-ness (yup, new word). I’ve always had that feeling..that if I didn’t notice the wonder, I would drown in the sorrow; if I didn’t take the opportunity to be kind, my heart would be assaulted with a severe case of the uglies. To fully disclose – I am far, far, fa-a-a-r from any ideal – I’m as cranky as the next person, miss my share of wiggle-giggle moments, forget that the world is not as circumspect as my thoughts often are. I should do more than I do and think about doing it less. I take too many things personally and need to remember that just maybe, someone is going through his/her own turmoil and I’m not even a blip on their emotional radar. I hate the phone and as such don’t talk with my sister, my family-in-law, or friends often enough. The list could continue, but this post would be too long.
I do try though to pay attention. I fretted mightily about the brand new bunny that fell into the pool yesterday. I scooped him out gently and anxiously waited for him to move. It took more than an hour – me slowly approaching him to make sure he was breathing; putting down a towel (why the heck I did that, I have no idea – did I think he was going to towel himself off?) and a baby carrot (after all he was a baby bunny, I figured an adult carrot would be too much); watching him through the window and wondering what the purpose would be if this harmless little thing died because he wasn’t watching where he was going. Slowly he began to do more than just shiver, he cleaned himself off, huddled against the summer wind and considered his options. When Andy came home he went down with the intent to carry him into the taller grasses – I really wanted to get him away from the pool! Without any prodding, the little guy (or gal) hopped away – leaving both the carrot and the towel.
And while this little drama was unfolding, there were my friends sending Facebook messages checking on the bunny’s well being, my son calling Andy to tell him that ‘mom is in crisis – hurt animal alert’, all this good ‘juju’ conspiring in the background to write a happy ending for this story.
Perhaps the best we do in our day is that which is invisible to us. The person we smile at on the street, the parent juggling two toddlers and a supermarket cart full of food who we invite to go in front of us in line, the butterfly that is freed from the space between the window and the screen. And for some karmic reason, you get an email from someone with whom you worked just checking in to remind you that you’re missed, the kid at the drugstore gives you the biggest smile because you said “thank you sir” and he responds with “Thanks! This is the first time any one has ever called me ‘sir’ ma’am”…(would that I could have said, “Wow, that’s the first time anyone has called me ‘ma’am'”…). Silly, inconsequential moments all, I know…yet in total, also the magic of all things touching each other I guess. And if that is how we get through – by noticing the moments in between – in between the frustrations, the disappointments, the stress – then bring it on. I’m tellin’ you – that’s where it’s all happening.
Waiting for the Karma Truck 