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What I regret most in my life are failures of…

Once again David Kanigan finds words to amaze and humble (and if you’re like me, be moved to tears).

Live & Learn's avatarLive & Learn

George Saunders

READ THIS.  You will not be disappointed.  It started my day off on the right foot.


From George Saunders’ 2013 “Advice to Graduates” commencement speech @ Syracuse University:

“…Now, one useful thing you can do with an old person, in addition to borrowing money from them, or asking them to do one of their old-time “dances,” so you can watch, while laughing, is ask: “Looking back, what do you regret?”  And they’ll tell you.  Sometimes, as you know, they’ll tell you even if you haven’t asked.  Sometimes, even when you’ve specifically requested they not tell you, they’ll tell you.

So: What do I regret?  Being poor from time to time?  Not really.  Working terrible jobs, like “knuckle-puller in a slaughterhouse?”  (And don’t even ASK what that entails.)  No.  I don’t regret that.  Skinny-dipping in a river in Sumatra, a little buzzed, and looking up and seeing like 300…

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I believe I will feel

Bill’s posts have been touching my heart for a long time now (and this is my second re-blog of his this week) – this one though, will echo for a long time..

drbillwooten's avatarDr Bill Wooten

“I used to know a sculptor… He always said that if you looked hard enough, you could see where each person carried his soul in his body. It sounds crazy, but when you saw his sculptures, it made sense. I think the same is true with those we love… Our bodies carry our memories of them, in our muscles, in our skin, in our bones. My children are right here.” She pointed to the inside curve of her elbow. “Where I held them when they were babies. Even if there comes a time when I don’t know who they are anymore. I believe I will feel them here.” ~ Erica Bauermeister

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discretion, friendship, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, motivation, Uncategorized

Dozing Through Life

“The universe is not short on wake-up calls.  We’re just quick to hit the snooze button.”  – Brene Brown

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There are some days when I think I have done absolutely nothing of value and  can’t understand how the hours got away from me.  At that point my self-talk is particularly harsh – ‘Idiot, you wasted a day’, ‘is this how you define living?’, ‘you have no excuse for such inertia’, ‘what are you waiting for?’  (I did censor these thoughts –  I usually throw around a few expletives in my head too).

And even though I self-flagellate with impressive vigor, it’s beginning to dawn on me that I’m missing the point.  I’m not snoozing through life – I’m wide awake, acutely aware and learning how to be in this skin without apology.  I believe that my senses are calibrated more sensitively than ever before.  I can find a chirping wren in the top of a tree,  discover the mystery in a song I’ve listened to a thousand times and never really heard.  I am increasingly attracted to people who have a curiosity about anything other than their own navels.  It dawned on me the other day that there are some people who think of me fondly and/or with friendship and have never asked me anything that would suggest they really had any interest in who I am.  And that’s ok – as long as I’m asking myself the questions that matter,  I don’t need to be queried.  I like inquiring better.

I am aware that life delights in such elemental ways that I can’t wait to wake up in the morning.  The rich silence in the pre-dawn hours punctuated by the occasional grumbling of a bullfrog, the decadent smell of fresh coffee and the morning air fresh from the nights’ rain.  I’m awake.  I’m getting the message – there is no dress rehearsal, so make sure you pick up your cues.  Life isn’t waiting for you to begin, it just wants you to notice.

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clouds open the heart to heaven

So beautifully written, such beauty to consider – enjoy..

In Blue's avatarMake Believe Boutique

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Open The Window In The Center Of Your Chest,

And Let The Spirits Fly In And Out.
……Rumi

finding clouds in our deep unfolding

I step outside into a bracing morning. The day is almost too blue; the air is so clear that is seems alive. Far above me, the clouds march in celestial cadence across the sky. Years ago I used to drive a cab for a living. There was a blind woman I used to pick up. She was taciturn, proper, almost British in her sense of propriety and reserve. And though she seldom talked, we gradually became friends. One day I asked her what one thing she would wish to see if, for only one minute, she could have the gift of sight. She smiled and thought a moment. Then, she said, ‘Clouds.’ The answer surprised me. ‘Why clouds?’ I asked. ‘Because I can’t imagine them,’ she…

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discretion, friendship, humor, life lessons, mindfulness, motivation, Uncategorized, work life

How We Carry The Day

Another early morning finds me sitting in the office atrium, catching up on the day’s rhythm, seeing if I can match the beat.  The energy is too slow, involving shuffling instead of stepping, a resignation in the bend of the head.  Clearly I am not going to be a helpful dance partner.  I need to carry the day differently…which propels me towards an entirely different train of thought.  How to carry the day.

Should it be carried gently as a sleeping baby in your arms, held with acute awareness of its inestimable preciousness?  Or with abandon?  Tossing the day up in the air with delight, watching it return to your hands gleefully anticipating the breathlessness of being thrown higher again and again.

Perhaps it should be carried over your shoulder, as one carries shirts fresh from the dry cleaner?  Protected in plastic that provides the security that they will make it home spotless and pressed (assuming you don’t fall into a puddle).

Do you hold the day like a briefcase – holding so tightly to the handle that your fingers ache, secure that no one will be able to take it from you?

Or

Like a well-worn handbag held casually and almost mindlessly – its weight comfortable in your hand, its contents familiar (save for the occasional forgotten lipstick and dollar bill at the very bottom of the bag).

How do you carry the day?

Held tightly against you like a cell phone to your ear, doing all you can to make sure that no one can hear what you are attending to?  Protectively guarding your privacy despite being in the middle of all this humanity??

Do you carry the day with confidence or trepidation?  Delight or dread?  Is it one more parcel to hold along with too many others to effectively juggle?  Do you push it away as a stroller or a shopping cart, keeping control of the direction by keeping a certain distance between you and it?  Is it pulled along like a rolling suitcase, casually unaware of its contents (for after all it is always behind you).

Do you balance the day like an overly full cup of coffee that is thisclose to spilling over, taking mincing, tentative steps to avert sartorial disaster?

I suppose different days require different handling.  Today my  arms are at my sides, keeping questionable rhythm with my feet.  Today perhaps the day itself will carry me.

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Buddha’s dogs

A wonderful poem (and one for those of us who struggle with meditation to identify with)..Bill somehow finds the perfect words for each day, so with thanks to him I wish you all a wonderful Wednesday.

drbillwooten's avatarDr Bill Wooten

“I’m at a day-long meditation retreat, eight hours of watching
my mind with my mind,
and I already fell asleep twice and nearly fell out of my chair,
and it’s not even noon yet.

In the morning session, I learned to count my thoughts, ten in
one minute, and the longest
was to leave and go to San Anselmo and shop, then find an outdoor cafe and order a glass

of Sancerre, smoked trout with roasted potatoes and baby
carrots and a bowl of gazpacho.
But I stayed and learned to name my thoughts, so far they are:
wanting, wanting, wanting,

wanting, wanting, wanting, wanting, wanting, judgment,
sadness. Don’t identify with your
thoughts, the teacher says, you are not your personality, not your
ego-identification,

then he bangs the gong for lunch. Whoever, whatever I am is
given instruction
in the walking meditation and the eating meditation and walks
outside with…

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60 about 60

More than one reason to smile today…thank you davidkanigan.com @ Lead.Learn.Live

Live & Learn's avatarLive & Learn

Ian Martin at 60

Ian Martin is a British author, writer for Oscar-nominated film In the Loop, major contributor to The Thick of It and has written for radio and newspapers.  He shares his thoughts about turning 60.  A few excerpts:

1. People who “hate getting old” are idiots. Every year is a privilege. Let me tell you, callow miserabilists: getting to 60 feels like a triumph. I have no idea how I made it this far, but I am very grateful…

4. For instance. It was 1968. Early summer evening, a Saturday. My mate and I were hitching home in the Essex countryside. We got a lift from a happy couple in a boaty car that smelled of leather and engine oil. We were 15, they were proper old, 20-ish. Relaxed and so very much in love. They treated us as equals, laughed at our jokes, we smoked their cigarettes. Walk Away Renee by the Four Tops came on the radio. We all sang along to the…

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anxiety, friendship, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, Uncategorized

How The Heart Heals

“And thus the heart will break, yet brokenly live on” — George Gordon Byron

I struggle to describe this week.  All of the adjectives in my  mind seem to collide with one another in a frenetic game of bumper cars.  Contrasting realities – awful, horrific, mind-numbing, tragic, senseless, obscene, heartbreaking; life-affirming, connectedness, heroic, powerful, humbling, breathtaking, faithful.

Some people don’t do well with lots of stimuli – I’m one of them.  It’s why I hate the mall.  Too much going on that is competing for my attention and focus.  This week makes a trip to the mall look positively mundane.

I was in the city on 9/11;  in the Sears Tower (as it was called then – now the Willis Tower) two days later and flew to the Library Tower in LA thereafter.  My mom thought the firm was asking too much and was a wreck while I was gone.  I really think that had she known who to call, she would have dialed immediately and railed against anyone who had arrived at this decision.  Other than that, the trips were all about being there and not being rattled, reassuring those who needed it and confirming our collective strategy for responding to this serendipitous element of the new normal.

Of course, as this week shows there is no strategy for these traumatic reminders of the new normal.  The new normal wrenches us out of our skin, changes the rhythm of the day into a monotone dirge that quietly plays on an endless loop. Daily stressors are too much to bear, everything that is routine is somehow, not.  I found myself in tears for no reason (when of course there were all the reasons in the world), sitting with my body wrapped around itself, trying to contain this inexplicable sorrow, covering my mouth so the screams would remain silent while they vibrated through my body.  Did I even hear the birds engaged in their gossipy conversation over these past few days?  I don’t think so.

The collective release of tension in Boston last night infused my soul with light (and the hearts of many I am sure).  To see such joy and gratitude after these incomprehensibly tragic days returns my heart to baseline.  The treadmill begins to slow, the incline is less arduous.  The music changes – not necessarily exuberant, though hopeful.  And when I walked the Sirs this morning, I heard the birds engaged in a rockin’ game of Marco Polo.  And with a heart that is bruised, perhaps even broken, we return to our lives.

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acappella anyone?

Oops he did it again…davidkanigan.com that is (Lead.Learn.Live). Just enjoy and smile with delight. Forget about trying to keep up.

Live & Learn's avatarLive & Learn


4 minutes.  36 songs. Something for everyone.  And I mean everyone.  From Beethoven to Hammerstein to Johnny Cash to Aretha to Queen to Gaga to Psy.  Evolution of music from 11th century to today.  Curious about the song list?  Here it is:

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