Dozing Through Life

“The universe is not short on wake-up calls.  We’re just quick to hit the snooze button.”  – Brene Brown

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There are some days when I think I have done absolutely nothing of value and  can’t understand how the hours got away from me.  At that point my self-talk is particularly harsh – ‘Idiot, you wasted a day’, ‘is this how you define living?’, ‘you have no excuse for such inertia’, ‘what are you waiting for?’  (I did censor these thoughts –  I usually throw around a few expletives in my head too).

And even though I self-flagellate with impressive vigor, it’s beginning to dawn on me that I’m missing the point.  I’m not snoozing through life – I’m wide awake, acutely aware and learning how to be in this skin without apology.  I believe that my senses are calibrated more sensitively than ever before.  I can find a chirping wren in the top of a tree,  discover the mystery in a song I’ve listened to a thousand times and never really heard.  I am increasingly attracted to people who have a curiosity about anything other than their own navels.  It dawned on me the other day that there are some people who think of me fondly and/or with friendship and have never asked me anything that would suggest they really had any interest in who I am.  And that’s ok – as long as I’m asking myself the questions that matter,  I don’t need to be queried.  I like inquiring better.

I am aware that life delights in such elemental ways that I can’t wait to wake up in the morning.  The rich silence in the pre-dawn hours punctuated by the occasional grumbling of a bullfrog, the decadent smell of fresh coffee and the morning air fresh from the nights’ rain.  I’m awake.  I’m getting the message – there is no dress rehearsal, so make sure you pick up your cues.  Life isn’t waiting for you to begin, it just wants you to notice.

51 thoughts on “Dozing Through Life

  1. And, that’s how to roll. New chapter. New journey. No rules. So glad the karma truck is ‘movin’ on down the highway’ once again.

  2. Last week, I *almost* wrote a status update on FB that would have said something like this: ‘sometimes I astound myself at how effective I am at doing absolutely nothing’ but stopped myself. I hear you – it’s so easy to get caught in the trap of producing, doing, resulting. When, really, the harder thing is just being. You are most definitely not snoozing through life – at every turn, at the ready to listen, guide, support and always with wisdom that I am sure can only come from taking the time to stop, listen, notice and understand. You are most definitely more awake than most. And..still waiting for that story 🙂 xoxo my wise Karma Truck driving wonder friend.

    • Isn’t it amazing how quickly we can sabotage ourselves with arbitrary ‘shoulds’ that often make no sense? Thank you for thinking I’m so aware – but you and I both know, I’m just trying to negotiate this path like everyone else…xoxox

  3. Ahhh, my lovely wise friend. You are doing *many* things through the course of each day, honey, but never never are you ‘dozing.’ You are one of the most conscious, cognizant, aware, appreciative, insightful, loving, wonderful people I know, and I think you do a GREAT job of appreciating all that life has to offer, big and small. I love this little quote, and thought it might resonate with you, too. All there is…xoxo

    “Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis

    on which the world earth revolves – slowly, evenly, without

    rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment.

    Only this moment is life.”

    -Thich Nhat Hanh

    • That quote is perfect – and I will keep it close. You my wondrous friend are magnificently biased – prejudiced on my behalf and graced with a fantastic vocabulary..am I lucky or what? All there is Lori, all there is..xoxo

  4. Beautiful, as always, Mimi! “Life isn’t waiting for you to begin, it’s just wants you to notice.” Truth and wisdom. A statement for the ages, my friend.

    • Hmm…I think it would be that I listen very very hard – to what people share with me, to the sounds around me, to the ‘self-talk’ that occasionally leads me into the wrong direction. I hope that makes sense?

  5. Few share your approach to life.

    Question, is it you angry with lack of results in life during the day or a part of you attempting to please others through approval seeking?

    • Good question – certainly before I retired, I never thought about results – I just worked with the pressure of knowing that you’re only as good as your last show. Learning how to prioritize a day in such a way so that I am pleased even if the results are intangible, has been a process. And one I can’t say I’ve perfected yet.

  6. Don’t we all do that? Very wise words & beautifully written! I am glad Dr. Bill re-blogged it. I’m going to scroll down & read some more 🙂
    We do indeed learn every day when we are given the gift of awareness.

  7. The most inspiring and insightful people I’ve met are the ones who have been the most curious. I’ve always asked questions – most of the time I ask them of myself. And sometimes we can be our cruelest critics. Then again, as a former mentor once said, those don’t asks, don’t gets… 🙂

    By the way, the most peaceful times I’ve found have been in the middle of the night while walking a restless pooch or at that moment just before dawn…

    – J.

  8. Ok I have daughters who at times think I have no life…………………they don’t get blogging is part of my life and I don’t have to go out and live the high life in order to have a life………….this is my life and yeah I have times when I wonder what I did all day but hell there are other days when it is go go go………………..life is what happens when we are not………………..dead………………

  9. Quiet thought is an art form. I’m trying to master it myself. It’s hard to walk away from a career where I never had a moment to catch my breath, and people were so needy and everything was “urgent” and the phone never stopped and the email bleeped every 5 seconds. I always felt like I was standing in the ocean and as soon as I stood up to catch my breath another big wave would come crashing over me.

    In other words, we’re used to doing our best work on our feet under extreme pressure. I have the same guilty dialog in my head and when Dan gets home I immediately confess that I’ve done nothing all day. I’m all worked up and he’s completely nonplussed. Over the last several months I started remembering that before I had a Big Hairy Career I used to stare out the window and think all the time. Or stay up all night reading and not feel guilty. The luxury of time-that’s how we learned so much. How lucky we are to have another chance to do that.

    • Amen – the lives we led precluded the concept of really living I think. Doing – definitely. Achieving – yes. But the notions shouldn’t get conflated…

  10. Imagine what someone who really is dozing through life must be thinking? Every day brings a different vibe, some are busy, some are boring and lonely and some are delightful and you wish they would never end; those are the ones we have to call to mind when we are feeling like we are not accomplishing anything. Your wisdom always comes through in the end, depositing inspiration to all of us who go through the same thinking…..no “stinking thinking” allowed. Thanks! xo

    • I like that Fran “stinking thinking” – an exercise in frustration and self-rebuke if ever there was one. Far better to hold on to the days that shone like diamonds. I’m with you..xox

  11. Life has become like the last bite of Haagen daz to me–I am only just now noticing how good it’s been and is–and there is always an option to take a late night trip to the grocery store for more bites!! There won’t always be, though, and the key–like your photo!!–is to savor the flavor.

    Self flagellating…what’s that? (oh hoh hoh hoh hoh……hoh)

    And how the hell are ya….to inquire…:)

  12. It is hard, when for most of your life you are busy and ‘productive’, to have days without a ‘to-do’ list. Guilt is probably the first feeling that surfaces – “I should be ‘doing’ something”. To allow oneself the wonder of simply sitting back and drinking in the day is the ultimate in finding and being your true self.

    Those of us who put ‘responsibility’ first ahead of all else – even ourselves – find that very difficult.
    I am so glad that you have broken through that, ‘learning how to be in this skin without apology’ and sharing that path with us here. Which brings me to your next point ‘there are some people who think of me fondly and/or with friendship and have never asked me anything that would suggest they really had any interest in who I am’; I do have such an interest and would love you to share with me (us) your thoughts on who you think you were / are / are becoming. That would become a fascinating next chapter on the Karma truck.

    Fond wishes 🙂

    • Oh Elizabeth, you really have identified the push/pull of moving forward and stepping back.An thank you for your ‘question’ – a comment that was most affirmatively not directed at you (or anyone else who would even think it was directed to him/her – it’s the people without curiosity to whom it was intended). I’m going to give that some thought – there’s a lot in that topic! hugs, m

  13. “rich silence” – that really stood out to me. Great writing, and thoughtful. Enjoyed this 🙂

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