humor, inspiration, life lessons, love

And One For Good Luck..

mimijk

Twenty years ago tomorrow, Andy and I will celebrate twenty years of marriage.  Given that neither one of us got this right the first time (with an exemption for our kids), this seems like a staggeringly long time.  And yet, time is fickle – for it also seems like yesterday.  Yesterday when I broke out in hives an hour before the wedding,  scared out of my mind about what we were about to do.  Could we do this right?  Would our children be ok?   My mother patting foundation all over my hyper-ventilating chest, Andy coming up to my parents’ bedroom to remind me that all was going to be more than fine.  He was right.

Twenty years since I walked through my parents’ backyard, meeting Andy under my grandfather’s prayer shawl – held high by four poles – one held by his parents, another by my mom and dad,  and our two sisters holding the remaining two.  Our three boys and three nieces crowding around us as the rabbi began to speak (“Mommy, I want cake…is it time for cake yet?”  “You’re gonna be my aunt now”  “Stop pushing me”  “Cake?”)…One little boy holding on to the sash of my dress, another grabbing a leg and the littlest rubbing his nose and making little sneezes.  And Andy looking at me with more love than I had ever known, handsome, confident enough for the whole lot of us as we moved forward into this new life.  I got stuck on my vows and the rabbi stopped to remind me that “we’re all here with you Mimi”…I nodded that I knew, but all that mattered was that Andy knew.  And when he later said that the five of us were all getting married, you could hear the one child sigh “Oh brother”…We kissed through our laughter;  Andy held the back of my head with one hand, and held me up with the other.

The rain stopped long enough for the ceremony and the party – the skies re-opened as everyone left.  They say that’s a good omen.  I have no idea if that’s true or not.  What I do believe, is that which the rabbi reminded us under the chuppah – we are not lucky, we are blessed.  And though he lets me keep my sneakers in the garage, and the contract under constant re-write, there’s nowhere to go without Andy.  I am more sure of this today than I was twenty years ago.  We have created history – some which I’m sure we recall with sorrow – most of which we can remember with pride and laughter.  And twenty years from now?  He’ll still be my anchor and I’ll be his kite.

We danced to this song twenty years ago, and though we’re hardly Fred and Ginger (probably more like Fred and Wilma), I don’t remember my feet touching the ground..I love you big guy..

Published by mimijk

Woman of a certain age…mom, wife, grandmom, sister, friend, mentor, advisor, perpetual ponderer. “I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning difficult” (E.B. White)

93 thoughts on “And One For Good Luck..”

  1. I knew this one was coming and your writing moved me to tears as I expected it would. Being in the same room with the two of you, watching you, two, together – one easily sees that it can’t get more “right” than that. Mazal tov! Happy Anniversary to two of my favorite people. To the next 20 and so on…

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    1. 🙂 Thank you…it is still amazing to me that we made it so far!! Love you and really hope that one day you two will get to meet..xoxox

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  3. PS Love the song, too! And I remember you as Rose Alvarez in Bye Bye Birdie so I think Ginger Rodgers is not too big a stretch. So happy for you – sending love love and did I say love…?

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    1. Congratulations to you!! I hope you had a wonderful anniversary!! And yeah, I’m a sucker for that song..though I do wish I could glide across the floor like Fred and Ginger…:-)

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    1. 🙂 Thanks Maureen…Of course there is so much that came before this story – so long that the boys and I were on our own, so many residual issues about myself and so many fears and frustrations..But yes, yes – there is a happy ending. The first chapter of that part though began when I started healing…that’s when God smiled (if I was gonna be exact..:-))

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    1. Shucks Susan – thank you! 🙂 It’s a lovely story – with lots of fingerprints all over it..and a happy ending after a whole lot of unhappy chapters..

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    1. There are a lot of happy chapters still to be written my friend…and there are a lot of unhappy ones that we all have as well. But love comes in at the most unexpected times and from left field (or right, I guess…:-))…We came to the game a bit late, and more than a little bruised – and I’m grateful that our story is a happy one. As I know you’re story will be too..

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  14. What a marvelous story and well told 🙂 May you all be blessed with the same happiness for the rest of your lives and beyond. Your wedding sounds like one out of a movie it’s so perfect. You both are extremely blessed to have each other and your family.

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    1. Aw Kip – you got me needing my tissues again…:-) Thank you so much..of course the rest of the story is just like a B movie – the next day, we set off for a long weekend (not wanting to leave the kids for too long given the newness of the situation) and Andy ended up in the hospital with blood poisoning from an open insect bite. So, I spent the first night on my own, drinking champagne and waking up with a headache. They released him from the hospital in time for us to make it home as planned. 🙂

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      1. Believe me, I know how the “perfect wedding” can turn into something different in the blink of an eye. I had a wonderful wedding that turned into a grade A horror film, lol. My friends decided that rather than decorate my car, they would hook a stink/smoke bomb up so that when I started the car it would go off. For good measure, instead of connecting one wire to a sparkplug and one to ground, they added a wire and connected two plugs to ground (to make sure it went off. Not 10 minutes after leaving the church, the alternator light went off. Had just enough batter to make it back to the church and steal my brother’s car and tell him and everyone that was in on the joke to fix my car by the time I got back from my 2 day honeymoon. That stole most of day one and our son (hers from a previous marriage) missed his Mom so much we went back and got him after half of day 2.
        Sorry to hear about the “problematic” honeymoon of yours, but it sounds like it didn’t make much of a dent in your relationship, which is what really matters.

  15. Dear Mimi, As you know I read all your blogs and enjoy them, but this blog brought a tear to both Mom’s and my eyes. Thank you for being o ur daughter-in-law and keeping Andy as happy as has been through these past 20 years. There is one comment that Andy made to us some years ago which I will never forget and that is “I would go through another ten years of hell if knew that Mimi was waiting at the other end of the tunnel. We love you both and wish y ou the best for the next 20 years.  With all our love, Mom & Dad

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    1. Dear Pop – Don’t you know that you were the one who sealed the deal with your ‘wants and needs’ conversation with your son? 🙂 It is a pleasure being your daughter-in-law and the appreciation is mine. I never knew that Andy said that – and I am thankfully that we have never experienced ten years of hell to see if that’s true!! I love you both and thank you for always being there. Love, Mimi

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    1. Hey Bonnie…here you go…sorry I only have a couple of tissues left, but you’re welcome to them!! I think we’re trying to dance through life – without stepping on each other’s feet!!! xox

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  22. If I can stop crying long enough see the damn keys, I’ll get his out. This is a beautiful story, told in only the way you could tell it. That rabbi was right…you and Andy are blessed. My heart is so full right now, I think it shall burst. Many many many happy returns and put those damn sneakers in the trash! They probably smell anyway. Good night Fred and Wilma…you guys put the flint in my stone!
    xo

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    1. Oh WW, don’t cry…thank you for your good wishes and for that beautifully big heart of yours with such an enormous capacity for love. That is the blessing I think honey…to feel the capacity of our love…you know? xox

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  23. What a beautiful story my wedding day is mostly a blur……………..lol There are bits that I remember and other parts nope…………I do remember it rained on my wedding day but stopped long enough for me to get into the church.

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    1. Thank you my friend, thank you…In the great big scheme of things, it’s one’s family that informs one’s narrative more than anything else, I think.

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  26. Here I sit at the gate at Atlanta Hartsfield …trying to type through tears as I work to keep the knot growing in my throat from turning into a full blubber. What your blog started, Andy’s dad’s reply finished!

    Thank you for sharing the fears, funnies and future with us. It was honest and full of hope for those of us navigating the waters a second time! Happy Anniversary!

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    1. Hi Carrie..I was wondering where you were!!! We navigate and hit the shoals and throw the darn thing into reverse and rock our way back onto calm seas. And knowledge can be a quirky thing – sometimes it’s better not to have all that history whispering in your ear!! At least we’re both sharing the waters together…:-) No tears my friend, travel safe and see you soon..

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  28. it is hard for me to read this blog without having tears of happiness and joy running down my face..you were (and still are) andy’s gift to us..you are both so much in our hearts, especially today..i remember that day 20 years ago today as if it were happening right now…you were both surrounded by love as you are today..resign the contract , for goodness sakes!

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    1. Oh Sus, you know I have to keep the illusion in my head!! I hold that memory so close to my heart – your face as you’re holding one of the poles, Deb’s face – and our parents – it is a picture I return to more often than you know…I love you and share the tears…xox

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  29. Talk about beautiful posts… wow. How lucky you are to have had a second chance at marriage, and it worked so well. I specially love the very last line of your post. Now I have to watch that video….

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    1. Very luck, very blessed – and very aware of how much water has passed under the bridge. Not always a walk in the park, but definitely worth it!! 🙂

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      2. double 🙂
        And, I can only imagine… maybe one day… I think I’m still young-ish enough to have a 20+ yr marriage in my future!

      3. Oh it’ll come..when you’re not expecting it, it’s going to tiptoe around the corner when you’re mind is on something in front of you, and surprise you..

      2. Wow – now that’s AWESOME!! Congratulations! May you guys forever be in love (looks like you’re well on your way!!) 🙂

  31. What a beautiful story. It is an interesting odyssey that we weave as couples through life. Through laughter and tears the relationship of two melds into one that is inseparable. Happy anniversary Mimi . . .

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    1. That is so kind of you – thank you so much! Hopeful? Yes..Challenging? Without a doubt…Worth it? I’m going to re-up for another twenty years and see how we do..:-)

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  35. Congratulations on your anniversary, Mimi! May the anchor and the kite always keep the magic that made these 20 years so wonderful. I can feel the love from way over where I’m sitting. You two are blessed indeed!
    Russ

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    1. Yes we are…and we both know it. There’s nothing that is taken for granted in this life of ours and we’re all works in progress. But at least we all know it! 🙂 And we love each other and our respective journeys – which is the best. Oh…and we laugh a lot – that’s a given.

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