Category: mindfulness

friendship, humor, life lessons, love, mindfulness, motivation, music

The Second Best Part Of A Vacation

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We had a fantastic week away..the weather couldn’t have been more accommodating (with sincere apologies to my friends up north who had apparently located Nemo while we were hanging out in the sun),  the only required nod to time had to do with Andy’s scheduled tee times (and he shot an 80 the second time he went out!  The first round would have been equally as impressive were it not for the beer after the front nine).  I only listened to the music provided by the environment all around me – the leaves from palm trees as they tickled and teased each other in the wind, the ocean playing tag with the shore.  Occasionally the riff of laughter extending from one end of the beach to the other.  Oh yeah, there also was the occasional, “the drink you requested madam?”  That’s fine – call me Madam (sorry I couldn’t resist).

Tuesday morning we spent with the dolphins.  The pictures I took were awful (note to self, put on glasses before trying to focus), the pictures the conservation folks took were better (the ones below).  Ironically, we hung out with a dolphin named Andy, who apparently took issue with someone else having his name who would not kiss him with a full pucker (he gave a full on Bronx cheer to my conquering hero).  I was mesmerized by his eyes (the dolphin Andy, that is) – believe me, these brilliant mammals size us up in much the same way we assess those around us.  They pick up vibes, tease, play coy and make their share of mischief.  And don’t make the mistake of ticking them off.  I also met three new baby dolphins who are first beginning to explore life away from their moms (dolphins nurse until they are almost three years old).  Did I fall in love?  You betcha.

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I suppose this wouldn’t be a Mimi-post without a musing or two (what can I say?  I muse a lot).  There was one day when the beach was closed.  The ocean, with presence of mind and purpose, felt the need to remind the shore that just as it brought it onto the land, it could take it away.  And it did.  The ferocity of the waves was so intense that the beach chairs, tables and umbrellas were washed out to sea, some returned in pieces and left as the detritus of the ocean’s pique.  It was loud and magnificent, boastful and confident.  I watched for hours, realizing that no two waves were the same, no two sounds exact replicas, no sea foam frothing in circles and eddies that were similar.  If you looked with little sight, you might think it was just a relentless pounding and abatement.  If you looked with your eyes wide open and your ears tuned to the right station, no two notes were alike.

And so it is with our days, our minutes, our seconds.  Regardless of how many we have, no matter how they may seem at times to fold into each other with nothing easily identifiable to distinguish one from another – no two moments in time are the same.  From this perspective, it’s almost impossible to imagine how rich life is – with possibilities, choices, magic.  No two moments that are the same.  What we choose to do – how we look upon our time – that is what it’s all about.  I decided to accept a challenge posted while I was gone by davidkanigan.com at Lead.Learn.Live – to begin with three days of finding the goodness in others, and censoring the less kind thoughts I may have in a moment of impatience…ultimately extending this practice to a year (if I can do it).  I’ll screw it up of course, though I have promised myself  that when I do, I’ll get back on the board.  The truth of the matter is, I don’t really think a lot of nasty stuff about people and there are very few for whom I reserve really unkind thoughts.  I realize that I give them too much of my sacred time by according them much attention.  With that as a backdrop, I think I can do this – and enjoy the waves as I ride them.  It’s probably the closest I’ll ever come to surfing anyway.

And so the second best thing about vacation is absolutely coming home.  Anticipating the delight of seeing my kids, having Sir Teddy share my chair as I write this and Archie asleep on my Ugg slipper, the laundry spinning in the dryer, and the glorious knowledge that on this day, I got to write to you.  It’s good to be home.  I could choose nothing better than this one moment.

friendship, humor, inspiration, leadership, life lessons, love, mindfulness, parenting, Uncategorized, work life

I’m Listening – What Do I Hear?

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Russ Towne (russtowne.com) who pens the glorious “A Grateful Man” was prompted by a friend to respond to a question that grabbed my attention.  “What do you know for sure?”  His responses were pure Russ, written with candor and beauty, simplicity and reflection.  And I began asking myself the same question – and would submit that it’s a reasonable query to pose to ourselves from time to time.  I will admit that my answers didn’t arrive with the same eloquence or confidence; nor do I know if this represents an all-inclusive list.  Nonetheless here goes..

– I know for sure that I still love loving my husband.  I also know for sure that he drives me crazy sometimes, while I on the other hand, I never affect him in that way.  I know for sure that he is the anchor to my kite and were it not for him I’d probably be getting stuck in the trees like a wayward balloon.

– I know for sure that my adoration of my children knows no bounds and I know for sure that they know it and probably don’t fully get it.  I know for sure that parents screw up all the time, and children grow up in spite of us and not because of us.  To reflect tremendous self-congratulatory aggrandizement for their successes as fantastic people is folly and a little narcissistic.  This is their time.  And I am grateful to be along for the ride.  Let’s remember that I’m the sap who cries when we say good-bye to each other despite living ten minutes apart.

– I know for sure that at different times in my life I have let disappointment and anger have more power over me than I realized at the time.  And the only person who suffered from its toxicity was me.

– I know for sure that my life continues to be enhanced by the people who enter my world  – and also those who exit.  Some people need to stay for a little while, and that’s ok.  Some people will be here forever and that’s a gift.  Last I looked, one can’t suffer from having too much love in their life – for however long.

– I know for sure that I’m at a point in my life where I’m wondering what my next contribution will be.  I need to listen harder to my heart, for it’s definitely speaking.  We don’t spend enough time paying attention to its messages.

– I know for sure that if there hadn’t been a black-out at the Super Bowl last night I wouldn’t have fallen asleep and missed the best part of the game.

– I know for sure that the silence that announces the arrival of snow always makes my eyes fill.  It is one of the most peaceful calming sounds in the world.

– I know for sure that I want another puppy (honey are you reading this?).

– I know each day offers me the chance to say ‘Thank You’ – for the ridiculous number of gifts that are in my life.  And I also know I don’t say ‘thank you’ enough.

– I know for sure that for all the articles about leadership, for all the seminars I’ve led on management, motivation, employee engagement, etc – none of it means a damn thing if a person loses his/her character.  Save the HBR studies for another day – as you shimmy up the food chain, hold tight to your sense of integrity and honor.  You will be remembered for little else.

– I know for sure that I can out-happy dance anyone I know.  Not because I’m such a good dancer, but because I have lost enough, found enough and love enough to know how to celebrate all of it.

And finally, I know for sure that there is nothing I can be sure of – except this moment in time.  And this moment in time – in the quiet soft rhythmic beating of its longing – is perfect.

 

discretion, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness

Never Forget

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This is one of the few pictures we have of my mom and her family before the war.  She was an adorable little girl who grew into a beautiful and haunted woman.  I think some of the relentless, unforgiving thoughts that defined so much of her persona were driven by memories such images evoked, further fueled by the unanswerable question, “what if?”.  “What if” there had been no Holocaust?  “What if” they could have remained in Vienna along with their sizeable extended family?  “What if” she had been able to grow up with frivolity?  “What if” her back story was so benign, so unremarkable that it didn’t inform her entire life?

Holocaust Remembrance Day – I wrote of it last year.  I honor it again.  Elie Wiesel once said, “To forget the Holocaust is to kill twice”.  With a bowed back, I realize that he is right – for this is a lesson the world has yet to embrace.  The irony of unanimous agreement that humanity is precious and the disparity that clearly exists in its definition.  And we bear witness over and over again – the self-righteous rationalization about the expendability of some people over others.  We’re not talking about Darwin.  After Kristalnacht, my grandfather went to schul with the conviction that the answer to this horror would be found in more devout prayer.  This is not about evolutionary theory.  This is a human tale.

My mother’s story lives now in my sister and I.  It has been with us since we were born, whispered to us as we were carried by our grandfather,  packed in our lunch boxes, tucked into our clothes.  We honored it because it was so big and inconceivable and intangible, yet as real and palpable as mom herself.  It was every nightmare that would wake us when she screamed.  It weighted every argument in mom’s favor when I fought my way through adolescence.  It remains as a part of every prayer I mouth to the sky in the morning – sending love to my parents, appreciation for  this life, my family and friends, and imploring that we all continue to be blessed with health and love.  It lives in me.  Perhaps it will remain in her grandchildren, and so on.  Time has a way of diluting even the starkest memories.  The ones you swear you’ll always remember.  Maybe the details will get lost, and what will survive within them is a more sophisticated palate – able to taste  the exquisite, indescribable sweetness to life.  The passionate advocacy for the value of humankind.

When mom passed away in 2005, her obituary ran in the New York Times.  It read in part, “Dee was born and spent her early childhood in Vienna, making her one of that shrinking cohort who experienced and survived the monstrous storm of Nazi violence.  Her father and mother…took the family out of Austria shortly after the Anschluss, making their way first to Belgium and then through occupied France.  The family made its way to Portugal, where on August 16, 1941, they found passage among 765 other refugees on the Spanish freighter Navemar – one of the last voyages of escapees from Europe.  Dee’s children and grandchildren bear in their hearts eternal, existential gratitude for her family’s valor and persistence.  Her intelligence, humor and immense energy were a gift to us all.  Our family’s particularly gladdened that Dee lived long enough to know of the safe return..of her eldest grandson, Matthew, from Iraq, where for the past year he has served in harm’s way the country that gave his grandmother safe haven.”

In acknowledging this day of Remembrance, I honor my family.  I honor the memories that once glared in every corner, and now have softened to shadows.  I will do my part to make sure that though they may dim and blur, they should never be forgotten.

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humor, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, motivation, Uncategorized

On My Own

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Well, the King of our castle is off to baseball camp.  Over the next week Andy will be in the field and up at bat, he will pitch and catch, spit pumpkin seed shells and talk it up in the dugout.  He will have Yankee trainers rub his shoulders, ice his knees and disingenuously marvel (while appearing completely credible) at the athletic prowess of these campers-of-a-certain-age.

Andy left with a suitcase filled to capacity.  Two baseball gloves; cleats; Yankee swag from his prior camp days – baseball hats, sneakers, long-sleeved t-shirts, short-sleeve t-shirts.  For all I know there are Yankee socks and underwear carefully folded in his suitcase along with dress shirts for their special bonding dinners, jeans for those casual evenings of drinking at the hotel bar, etc.  You want to make sure you’re one of the cool kids at camp – sartorially as well as athletically.  His carry on?  A Yankee bat bag, of course.  The amount of testosterone which is now coursing through his body is exponentially greater than it was a week ago.  Buh-bye sweetie.

So, for the past couple of days I have been on my own.  The palace has been alive with frivolous pleasure and impetuous pursuits.  I really hesitate to share it with you, lest you think less of me as a result.  A wanton woman, with a fickle tendency to move from one amusement to the next.

I have organized the pantry, the shelves of spices and the linen closet.  A new featherbed sits atop our mattress.  Two books finished; new music filling the house with the volume high enough that it can be relished in any room.  In a moment of cheeky adventure, I scoured Whole Foods for some highly caloric delight that would normally never make its way past my lips.  I ended up with sesame seed seaweed wraps and a bag of Good ‘N Plenty from the drugstore.  C-r-a-z-y, huh?

I know what you’re thinking.  If I’m cavorting with such abandon so early in the week, how will I manage to maintain this pace until the weekend?  Stamina my friends, I have stamina.  And a somewhat perverse definition of having fun.  Breakfast at the diner with my kids – goofy and fun.  The sun offering gorgeous shadows and prisms in the kitchen while the dishwasher hums and the Sirs grab a mid-morning snooze – delightful.  Knowing that my husband is having the time of his life – it’s fun for me too.  Happiness need not shout its presence to me, I hear it loud and clear in this moment – right now.  The week will unfold however it will, with bitter cold weather expected and an abiding warmth at the prospect that I need do nothing differently in order to feel happy.   It really is ‘all good’ and I challenge any umpire to tell me that I’m not ‘safe at home’.

 

friendship, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness, motivation, Uncategorized

Very Sweet And Low In Calorie

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It’s been a cocooning kind of week.  I’ve only taken the karma truck out to visit friends, read their posts and marvel at their talents.  I was beginning to worry a bit that I had run out of gas (so to speak), but realized that isn’t the case.  Sometimes you just have to idle for a little bit. Perhaps not the most intriguing scene to set, but the most transparent.

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So it came as a complete, out-of-the-blue surprise when I received the Super Sweet Blogging Award from Vicky, the author of the absolutely gorgeous ‘This Abundantly Delicious Life’ (abundelic.wordpress.com).  Vicky’s blog successfully meets her intention – she has created a space of gratitude and appreciation.  Her delight with all that surrounds her and her awareness of so much within her, brings me back all the time.  Thank you so much for including me in your thoughts Vicky – I am in rarefied company!

Though I am not known for my ability to follow directions, I will do so now.  The rules are as follows:

1. Thank the person who nominated you. Check.

2. Answer the questions.  Next paragraph

3. Pay it forward to a baker’s dozen and notify them. The paragraph after the next one.

Questions

1.  Cookies or cake?

Yes.

2.  Chocolate or vanilla

Chocolate.  Unless I’m having a soft-serve ice cream cone, in which case I have to have a combination of the two.

3.  What is your favorite sweet treat, cheesecake or frozen yogurt?

I thought frozen  yogurt was just good for you – it’s a treat?  Sigh…

4.  When do you crave sweet things most?

Late afternoon.  When others are pouring a glass of wine, I am looking for M&Ms.

5.  If you had a sweet nickname, what would it be?

I did actually..My dad called me ‘cookie’.  It was easier to say than ‘linzer tart’ or ‘apple turnover’ (the two forbidden treats that we would always get when sent to the bakery to pick up some seedless rye bread).

My baker’s dozen – as you know, I struggle with this, for there are so many bloggers I admire (and Vicky already named quite a few of them!)

makebelieveboutique.com

renardmoreau.wordpress.com

jmgoyder.com

thejolynproject.com

russtowne.com

drbillwooten.com

thehandwrittenlife.wordpress.com

universalmusings.com

almostspring.com

ivonprefontaine.com

life-with-the-topdown.com

throughmylens365.wordpress.com

gotoppm.com

 

Wait – there’s more!!  There really are more – there’s so much talent out there.  It is humbling to part of this community.  Thank you Vicky – your timing was truly karmic.

 

discretion, friendship, humor, life lessons, love, mindfulness, music

The Magic Of This Moment

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I’m easily amazed.  Others who know me might suggest that I’m ridiculously gullible (my beloved comes to mind).  When I was little, I would watch my dad pull grapes from my friends’ ears, I believed in Tinkerbell with unshakeable conviction and I knew with certainty that when I went to sleep each night, my toys came to life and had a party.  As I write this, I’m not exactly sure that the last sentence should be written in the past tense.  I’ve not changed much.

I don’t define magic as the mastery of optical illusion, the sleight of hand that can be explained by a slo-mo instant replay.  Magic is bigger than that.  Magic belongs up there with miracles, faith, love…Magic is what allows you to see two cardinals playing tag even though your heart is breaking.  Magic is the sound of a baby’s belly laugh.  Magic is in music that can lift you up and carry you to places you didn’t even know you could create.  There’s magic in the silence of the early hours of morning.  Like no other silence, it is protective and intimate and comforting.

Though I’m no magician, there is a spell that has been woven between us  that draws me to this connection time and time again.  I can’t explain how these friendships have formed, why these conversations are often more enriching than those that occur in face-to-face dialogue.  I leave it to magic – for magic allows for that which should remain inexplicable, fantastic.

How do I define the child that dances in my soul and escapes so I can play air guitar in the kitchen (I am really good at this by the way), use my brush as a microphone and turn my bathroom into a concert venue?  Magic.  Because Dahl was right – there is truly something magical to be felt in each moment that is heeded.  Each connection holds a bit of wonder that defies logic.  So, today I hope you suspend logic for a little while.  Catch a ray of sunshine and hold it close for minute.  Feel the magic.

friendship, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, music

Never Forget The Little Things

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I realize you may be thinking, “Of course, she would say this – she is a little thing”.  True enough, though height isn’t all it’s cracked up to be (bada boom).

I had my quarterly blood-letting this morning and got downtown early enough to stop at Starbucks.  I already took that as a good sign, for there was no traffic, my favorite guy at the parking garage came out to take my keys and we had the chance to catch up for a moment (his wife just had their second child) and the air – the air this morning was so fresh it was begging to be noticed.

When I got into Starbucks,  the woman behind the counter called out to me “Good morning sweetheart, what would make you smile today?”  Some people may not respond well to terms of affection from total strangers – I’m not one of them.  There was something in the way she said “sweetheart” that just tickled my core.  I asked for my venti, non-fat cappuccino, and told her that she had just made my day.  This prompted a conversation between her, the barista and I about the counters in the store (too high for me to reach my coffee, which gave us all a good laugh), how much better it was to greet the day instead of kvetching about its arrival (no one used the word ‘kvetching’, I’m paraphrasing here) and how one small exchange can manifest itself in a thousand ways.  This woman absolutely glowed kindness; she couldn’t hide it if she tried.  I told her and with a clap and a quick step from behind the register, we gave each other the most delicious hug we possibly could.

As I walked out, I held the door for a man trying to finagle himself inside while pulling his briefcase with one hand, texting on his Blackberry and holding The Washington Post with the other.  I wished him a “Good Morning” and clearly startled him (whether by the gesture or the words I don’t know), for I caught his paper as it began to fall to the ground.

In the doctor’s office, the receptionist told me all about her vacation, I listened to the phlebotomist tenderly complain about her new puppy who was still trying to figure out why no one wanted to play with him in the middle of the night.  You get the drift – it’s been a morning of the most sacred little things.  The moments that separate an okay day from a lovely one, the delight in extending one’s self just a tiny bit and receiving so much in return.  This isn’t even about paying it forward – it’s just about choosing warmth over isolation, a smile over an unfocused gaze, the underestimated value of spending one extra moment looking at the world around you and trying to shape it into someplace you want to live.

And as I sit here, the sun casting both warmth on my back and shadows on my keyboard, listening to Enesco’s ‘Roumanian Rhapsody No. 1’, I can’t help but feel that it is the little things that remain the most essential.  The generosity of a stranger, the pictures proudly shown by a new papa, the throw-your-head-back kind of laughter that erupts when you share joy.  Oh yeah, the coffee was extra delicious too.  In fact, that’s the way the whole day is turning out to be.  I wish that for you as well.  Happy Tuesday.

humor, life lessons, mindfulness

A Bird In The Hand – for $19.99

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“Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.  I think I’ve forgotten this before.” — Steven Wright

My challenges with sleeping are the stuff of family legend.  I fall into the arms of Morpheus every night, so exhausted that I don’t even remember that this is exactly the state in which I found myself the night before.  Ah well, there’s a lot one can learn at night – or not.  When I turned the tv on Saturday morning, I realized that absolutely nothing has changed since 1964.  It was kind of like ‘Groundhog Night’.

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You can still buy Ronco knives for $19.99.  And though K-tel is no longer offering records that are requisite for any connoisseur’s collection, Time Life can send you a complete set of Motown cd’s for one low price.  They’ll even send you ‘The History of Time Life Books’ for free!!  But there’s more (the night is long my friends).  Want to make the perfect omelette?  They’ve got one – and as hard as it may be to believe, you will never serve a wilted, torn omelette again.  It’s also ideal for crepes and grilled cheese sandwiches, though not at the same time.  Apparently, there’s no need for scrubbing when you’re done either,  just rinse (cleanliness is a concept open to personal interpretation).  How I have lived without this gadget, I’ll never know.

I saw infomercials for hair removal systems, hair growth systems, wrinkle reducers, lip enhancers, shapewear that eliminates bulges, shapewear that provides bulges (if you want or need certain areas, um, pumped up shall we say), ten minute work-out programs which absorbed twenty-five minutes of air time,  mini veggie choppers, a multi-use colander which can also serve as a deep fryer or convenient cooked pasta remover (you’ll never have to haul the heavy pot to the sink again).  Personally, I think it also could be used with home highlighting kits – put it on your head and pull the hair through the holes.  Learn yoga, another language and how to be a better lover (perhaps with the organization system on sale, you can do all of these things at once).  Lose the weight that has settled around your mid-section, gain the six-pack worthy of  Adonis.

The best part about these products is that if you order immediately, you get a second one free (plus shipping and handling).  I guess that’s fabulous if you have hoarding tendencies, like to layer your shapewear or just have $20.00 that you’re itching to spend.  Given that these come-ons haven’t changed since I was a kid, I wonder what it says about us?  That we’re so easily seduced by consumerism that we’ll buy anything?  That we really do believe that one can click their heels three times and have magical results?  Perhaps we’ve never fully resolved our child-like naivete?

Or maybe, it’s just that programming in the middle of the night has always been – and will continue to be – just awful.  My new approach to early, early, early, mornings?  Pick up “War and Peace” and hit myself in the head.

insomnia

 

anxiety, discretion, friendship, humor, life lessons, love, mindfulness

Testing The Waters

mimijk

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The Sirs…my fur-kids.  They look adorable do they not?  Sweet and docile, playful and affectionate.  I love them, spoil them and they reciprocate in dog-kind.  Wherever I go, there they are.  As I write this, Teddy is sharing my chair, fast asleep despite the fact that half of my body is no longer on the seat.  It’s ok – he’s comfortable and I think it’s cute.  Archie is snoring with his head on my left foot.  True, my foot fell asleep about twenty minutes ago, but why disturb him?  In my efforts to live in the moment, this is one of those times when my attention is drawn to the comfort of their presence, the clickety-clack my nails make on the keyboard, the hum of the dishwasher.  It’s all good..

Without defining it as a New Year’s resolution per se, I have decided that I need to be more conscious of being in the moment.  Anticipating the future and re-assessing the past are exercises in mental frustration, and frankly leave no part of me more firm and toned as a result.  ‘Shoulds’ and ‘coulds’ permeate my internal running monologue, punctuated with “what were you thinking?”, “what are you going to say?”, “are you crazy-stupid or just crazy?”.  The absolute, breath-taking awesomeness arrives when I invite myself to shut up and just notice the moment in which I find myself.  And on the rare occasions when I do, I feel really, really good.  So I’m trying – which includes those times when trying just doesn’t work…

I usually bring the dogs into the bedroom when I take a shower.  Archie comes into the bathroom and wedges himself between the toilet and the wall (don’t ask me why for it involves a lot of grunting and contorting on his part) and sleeps, well, like a dog – from the moment the shower spray is turned on through all other activities until the moment when the hair dryer is turned off.  Sir Theodore sleeps on the bed (I usually put cnbc on for him, for it could put the most alert being to sleep after a while).  Such machinations buy me peace, for if Sir Archibald is in repose, he does not see the leaf blowing by the window which elicits excited, contagious barks.  Ted starts barking too (though he doesn’t know why).  Typically they’re not big barkers – but when they see something that has the potential to be transportive, forget it.  We’ve got a cacophony of headache-inducing proportion.

But yesterday was such a quiet day, and I was feeling so out of sorts (have you ever wondered what ‘in sorts’ means?  Sorry, there I go again), I just turned the shower  handle all the way to ‘hot’ and waited for the heat and steam to ease the chills that were alternately visiting my body after the dripping sweat cooled on my skin.  “A perfect moment”, I thought to myself.  “Just take in this delicious sensory experience, the feel of the water on your skin” (hot enough to feel like pin pricks but not so hot to be considered pin pricks of torture), “even if you can’t smell your shampoo, enjoy the luxurious lather on your hair – go ahead and make a mohawk”…I was getting as into the moment as a flu-infected person could.  I even began to sing “Ain’t Nobody’s Business If I Do”.  The acoustics are fantastic.

singing in shower

And then all hell broke loose.

Archie fought his way out from his self-imposed wedge and charged downstairs barking as if he was the welcome committee for the Martians who just happened to pull into the driveway.  Teddy, less intrepid but definitely supportive of his buddy, began jumping all over the bed (after all, it is far safer to bark from a reasonable distance until you determine if whatever-it-is is friend or foe).  To paraphrase a different song – I had let the dogs out.

“Let it go Mimi, be in the moment”, I insisted.  Archie was bordering on the apoplectic – whatever was there, it was big.  In response, I opened my eyes just as a cascade of shampoo fell into my eyes. Teddy came running into the bathroom insisting that without my intervention the world as we know it would cease.  “Breathe deep..if this was Andy he wouldn’t even notice – take your time.”  My heart began to beat more quickly.  I began racing to rinse my hair (an impossible task), scrape the razor across my knees (don’t try this) and complete this soothing experience which had quickly turned into a clip from a Three Stooges movie.  With blood dripping from my leg, eyes abraded from shampoo and a chorus of enthusiastic barks telling me to hurry up, I grabbed my robe and tore downstairs leaving a trail that would make it easy for CSI to figure out what happened when they ultimately found me sprawled at the bottom of the stairs.

UPS delivered a pair of sneakers.  The box was left in the garage.

Of course, the boys settled down as soon as I retrieved the package.  They resumed their original positions and were blissfully dreaming in puppyland before I pulled myself back upstairs.  “Ah Grasshopper”, I thought, “You blew this big time”.

So the universe brought me a lesson along with my new sneakers.  Keep the canine distractions locked in the room with me?  Well, duh.  But more importantly, if you really want to be in the moment you have to work at it.  You have to keep your eyes closed when shampooing your hair (which is another way of saying that a moment is best savored when you don’t disturb it). And you really do have to acknowledge that serendipity, UPS delivery people and happenstance can test your best efforts.  Don’t let it deter you – give the present it’s due and if you get distracted, you might as well laugh and try again.

 

 

 

anxiety, friendship, humor, life lessons, love, mindfulness

In First Gear

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Well, it’s good to be back behind the wheel – even if this is the second time I’ve backed out of the driveway since I began this little adventure a year ago.  Let me tell you how clueless I really was when I pulled into the service center – and how clueless I remain now that I’ve left.  Were it not for my son Paul, there would be no new iteration of the Karma Truck, for over the past two days I have managed to mangle two different themes, download another background entirely (which exists somewhere in a zip file that I have not been able to find, unzip or download).  I cannot begin to describe what I did with the darn widget-things, all I know is that at one point, there was no room for text unless I chose to write one word per line.  I have written frantic messages to my technically proficient friends who with their characteristic grace and patience, felt my pain and offered me a couple of paper bags to breathe into (except for David who has been highly amused).

And then I came down with the flu.

And tomorrow, I was going to fly to meet an adored friend of mine in warmer climes.  Not according to the doctor who insists that I am grounded until the 15th.

So far, I’d say that 2013 is starting with a big, fat raspberry.

Far be it for me not to find the humor in this though.  It does seem to be my proclivity to get all the yucky stuff over just as the New Year presents itself – no celebratory gestures here.  I save those for later in the month, when everyone else is still recovering from their revelry.  Perhaps this explains why my exuberance in late January is often viewed derisively.  I have terrific rhythm though I am clearly not in sync.  The upside is that I can provide the enthusiasm when everyone is struggling with the ennui of a season that feels endless, as the dearth of three-day weekends extends to unreasonable lengths.  Never fear – I’ll be perking up around then.

So before I reach for more tea, grab my tissue box and dive head first under the covers, I thought I would show you the new and improved Karma Truck, and assure you that though the body may be spruced up a bit (with massive appreciation to Paul), the interior is exactly the same – it’s still just me.

 

friendship, life lessons, love, mindfulness, motivation

A Final Thought For 2012

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From NPR’s ‘Writer’s Almanac’

New Year Resolve – by May Sarton

The time has come

To stop allowing the clutter

To clutter my mind

Like dirty snow,

Shove it off and find

Clear time, clear water.

 

Time for a change,

Let silence in like a cat

Who has sat at my door

Neither wild nor strange

Hoping for food from my store

And shivering on the mat.

 

Let silence in.

She will rarely speak or mew,

She will sleep on my bed

And all I have ever been

Either false or true

Will live again in my head.

 

For it is now or not

As old age silts the stream,

To shove away the clutter,

To untie every knot,

To take the time to dream,

To come back to still water.

There will be time enough to look forward;  there is no need to look back – we’re not heading in that direction.  For now, here’s to this moment when we can just enjoy the whisper of possibility without feeling obligated to act;  relax the ‘shoulds’, ‘musts’ and ‘have-tos’ for one day.  Accept these wishes for a year of joy and good health, laughter and music, prosperity in all ways and love as always…love.  Happy New Year everyone..

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anxiety, friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, music, work life

Winding Down The Road

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As 2012 begins its inevitable walk to the ‘Exit’ sign, and 2013 lingers outside the Entrance waiting for the bouncers to accept its credentials and admit it into our crazy, rockin’ psyches, I’ve got to grab a moment of retrospection about the road the karma truck has traveled since I first turned the key in the ignition in early January of this passing year.

I had no map – as you now know, it would have proven useless anyway given my challenges with geography.  I was just going to drive with an eye to the sky and an ear to my heart.  Such spontaneous, free-formed initiatives were new to me.  You don’t work within the confines of a white-shoe, professional service firm and ad-lib your actions too much (though I certainly did my share – after all irreverence can be a good and freeing thing).  But again, I digress..

I agonized about hitting ‘publish’ for the first time, returning to my computer obsessively to see if anyone had stopped by.  I learned relatively quickly to leave the ‘stats alone, and to let go of any fantasies of becoming one of those bloggers that arrive at notoriety with equal parts serendipity and timing.  And as with most illusions that are suspended, reality became a far more incredible experience.

David Kanigan (davidkanigan.com)  who writes’Lead.Learn.Live’ (read it read it read it – you will look forward to his posts daily, and feel a bit bereft if for some reason he gives himself a break to take a vacation or something) was my first ‘follower’. Lori, a writer by profession with prodigious creativity and warmth (and a fabulous gift unto herself) posting at donnaanddiablo.wordpress.com, was my second follower.  Andy, my sister Deborah and friend Joanne followed thereafter.  And now a year later with over 600 followers and 31,000 views, I still have no clue where the karma truck is going.  What I do know is that it is traveling with an incredible entourage of people who openly share their thoughts, encourage me to keep the gas tank full and forgive me some of my lamer efforts (like yesterday’s post – a non-existent YouTube video – yes, I need more Apple therapy).

There is no question I would have continued writing, for there is someplace I’m heading with this, and I am hoping that one day you all will help me figure that out with your suggestions and ideas.  But for today, as I look back I can’t ask you for anything more.  I can only thank you for all that you’ve given me.  Friendships that have grown out of invisible threads that somehow connected us – we each picked up an end.  We have shared the stories of life – marriages beginning and ending, lives changing and morphing like shape shifters in a sci-fi novel, hearts exploding with pain and/or exuberance, illness and the new breath that arrives with the spring, questions with no answers and answers that are equivocal.  We have been silly and we have been considered.  These conversations have been some of the most fulfilling and instructive and delightful exchanges I have ever had.  You let me risk tipping a hand that I have held close for a very long time.  And you graced me with showing me yours.

I’m not sure what 2013 holds for the karma truck.  I do know that I am incredibly grateful for the friendships that I have come to cherish, the absolutely crazy-with-talent people who I follow, with perpetual open-mouthed awe and an ability to be as irritating as a relentlessly circling mosquito.  Thank you for your patience and encouragement.

I hope 2013 brings joy and good health, the courage to risk and the freedom to dream, long walks and endless possibilities.  I hope you feel lighter and less inclined to contort yourself into something you are not – for you have shown over and over again how amazing you are without such unnecessary effort.  I hope friendships deepen, love visits us all generously and often, and that we’re smart enough to relish its presence.  And I hope what we put out into this world meets the threshold of kindness and grace that allows for only goodness to be returned.  Here’s to next year.

(ps.  David – if this doesn’t work, don’t tell me..;-)