Category: mindfulness

humor, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, parenting

So Lucky Saturday

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I don’t think I have more fun than hanging with my kids.  Last night two of the three plus daughters-in-law were here for dinner, celebrating a birthday and anniversary (not mine).  Easing into the weekend with a lot of laughter,  some serous sidebars and multiple chances to wrap  my arms around these amazing people who I love with all that I have and then some.

Adult children don’t necessarily say adorable, wondrous things that can delight both parent and reader.  Their bodies no longer resemble the round, magically smelling perfection that I can still remember with all my senses.  They have to bend down to kiss me – a completely inverted calculation.  And yet, as often as we see each other (which is thankfully, often), as easily as we still share the thoughts in our heads and the secrets of our hearts – I am always left in tears when they head back to their homes.  I cry with gratitude – they are the most remarkable people; I cry with disbelief, for I truly don’t know where the time has gone (I mean really – have you seen me lately?  Who would think I would have a 30, 28 and 25 year old) and I cry because every time they go away, I want to keep them with me.  Corny stuff, huh?  I know, but there is no other way for love like this to be articulated – we’re past poopy diaper jokes, dirty baseball uniforms and unexpectedly found condom wrappers.  What we’re left with is a perfectly imperfect family, that continues to return to itself to restore, renew and reaffirm this story which is as old as time itself.

My boys…my boys…

friendship, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness

You Made It!!

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If you’re traveling this weekend, be safe.  If you’re hanging out this weekend, relish it.   Whatever you do, laugh a lot, eat yummy stuff, revel in the love of your family and friends.  If you’re barbecuing – make sure you have charcoal or propane before you’re ready to grill.  Sleep in, rise early.  Relish that you have the choice.  Whatever you do – enjoy.  And for my son, who was in Baghdad a few short years ago – I will take a moment to be grateful for those who have served the USA with courage, conviction and enormous sacrifice.  For my dad and my father-in-law, I will pause and honor the reality that as young kids they enlisted en masse to end a war that was to end war.  And I  will also bow my head and wonder for a little while, why we can’t learn from history.

This is a crazy world we live in – enjoy your weekend to the max!

humor, inspiration, leadership, management, mindfulness, training, work life

The-Thursday-Before-The-Friday-Of-A-Long-Weekend

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This is the kind of day where people either squeeze as much work into their day as possible so that they can leave the office early tomorrow or begin coasting because the prospect of a long weekend is so tempting there’s little else to think about.  Either way you go (and I would venture to guess that there are very few who defiantly reside somewhere in the middle), own your day.  Everyone has times when they just can’t intensely focus on the work in front of them.  Conversely, our concentration is not always laser-like, powered by energy and commitment.  Just raise your hand and own it –  so that others don’t feel isolated by your focus or annoyed at your laissez-faire, possibly misunderstanding your actions completely.

It’s funny how such candor is anathema in the workplace.  Somehow it’s not ok to have an ‘off’ day. That just defies reality.  Rather than reflecting authenticity, people will try to maintain an illusion of busy-ness at all times.  One of the many things I loved about most of the people I worked with was their willingness – and trust in me – to be able to admit when their heads were elsewhere, if a project was just sapping their enthusiasm, or if they were crushing to make a deadline and needed more hands.  I have no illusions looking back, which is why I inserted the word “most”.  I had my share of coasters and boasters, people who were hell-bent on kidding me almost as much as they were kidding themselves.  I still believe that allowing people the room to move within the rhythm of their lives when possible is the far better way to go.  I was able to keep my headcount low, people cross-trained and facile by creating an environment which emphasized personal ownership of the day ahead.  And laughter – yeah, there was a lot of laughter.  And an enormous amount of  individual and collective effort.  All it took was encouraging people to raise their hands.

humor, life lessons, mindfulness

Will Your Way Through Wednesday

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Three days of rainy, humid, grey makes the appeal of pulling my covers over my head very seductive.  I need to find my ’embrace the moment’ spirit … sigh, maybe after coffee.  The good news is – we made it to Hump Day and I feel it is my duty to at least start your day with a smile.  And if you don’t feel like smiling – try – it makes your endorphins happy (and if you’ve never seen a happy endorphin, you’re really missing something)..

inspiration, leadership, management, mindfulness, motivation, training, work life

Creating A Masterpiece

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There’s a quote from John Ruskin that has been teasing me for the last few days…”When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.”  I love the message, and think we often lose or sacrifice one of these two elements in the workplace.  I know what you’re thinking, ‘ are you really going to raise the spectre of love as an essential element of creation at work?’  Yup, I am.  Before you leap to disagree though, think about your best professional years – or moments – and what they required from you.

Certainly success involves skill – though arguably every success is not a masterpiece.  And not every act of love – as well intended as it may be – elicits a feeling of success.  If there is no love for what you commit to doing on a daily basis, I think your efforts are diluted by its absence.  And at least in the areas of work that I know well, there seems to be less attention given to loving what you do, and a skewed emphasis on just getting it done.  A friend of mine asked me recently where the ‘humanism’ in management has gone.  After participating in a panel discussion at a well known law firm, she was struck by the comments of young associates who attended the session.  Their expectations of upper management were narrow and indifferent, acknowledging that these first years in ‘big law’ required many hours of work, but little of the relational connectedness that makes the ridiculous time commitment worthwhile.  The concerns for their development were formulaic, the environment rich in superficial attention (if you’ve never been in the offices of big law, you’re missing some pretty magnificent work spaces) and sorely lacking in emotional investment.  We’re not talking about daily ‘kumbaya’ moments, rather the contagious, energizing sense that people were engaged in doing work that they loved.

The workplace in general is delicately positioned right now – on the one hand, employers want their people to do more with less; however less and less time is being spent considering what new ideas or programs can be put into play to engender enthusiasm and passion for individual effort.  So if you love the profession you’re in, and little is done to foster that indescribably powerful motivator, love will morph over time into benign acceptance.  The reality is that at some point each of us has the ingredients to create a masterpiece.  As a manager, director, chief officer, etc – what are your responsibilities to develop and/or sustain the professional and personal inventories from which your people can draw to create a masterpiece?   Or in the interest of production, does it even matter any longer that people love what they do?  Personally, I’ve done my damnedest to foster both love and skill instead of accepting skill and personal interest every time.  What about you?

friendship, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness

Sincerely Sunday

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The coffee is brewing a bit too early, but that’s ok…It’s Sunday.  The day is mine to do whatever I want – even go back to sleep in a couple of hours.  The sole requirement is that I recognize the gift of having those choices.  I hope those who I nominated for the Beautiful Blogger award are pleased that I did so – I realized after the fact, that some may find it intrusive.  Please know my intent was to applaud your work.

Anyway, if I can’t catch the reflection of a rainbow in my hands today, I can marvel at the prospect of doing so one day, and be happy that the day is bringing sunshine.  I hope wherever you are, your Sunday unfolds with gentle grace and treats you well.  Sincerely Sunday…

 

 

friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

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I had lunch today with a woman who was a camper of mine 35+ years ago (yeah, makes my mouth drop open too).   She ‘found’ me on Facebook,  which had a small cascading effect of other people who remembered me from my days as a camp counselor.  The exchange of memories is arguably a topic in and of itself  –  how some remember so acutely, while others remember through a murkier lens.  But to go there, is to digress dramatically from where I think I want to go (and anyone who reads this blog knows that I have a flair for tangential thought – oh look!  A chicken!)

I recognized her immediately – she is no longer a little girl, yet the features of the little girl I thoroughly loved for multiple summers remain the same.  Love.  I loved these girls for eight weeks every summer for years – from the time I was 15 through my freshman year in college (sophomore?  – I’m one of those murky lens people).   These summers informed so much of my personal and professional narrative – the good and the less-than-good.

Summer camps sell dreams for kids – and perhaps even more so for their parents.  Eight weeks out of the city, sylvan settings (outside of the bunks that is – ‘pristine’ is not the adjective that comes to mind while girls throw wet towels on the floor rushing to get enough hair dryer time before short circuiting the system) instant camaraderie, songs, playful athletic competition, instruction in gazillion sports, kids walking arm in arm in that “Laverne & Shirley” way.  To a large extent, it’s all accurate.  What isn’t mentioned is that each child – boy or girl – is entering this fantasy land already toting some of the emotional luggage they are going to carry for the rest of their lives.  And that makes the experience remarkably unique for each person as well as remarkably similar.

I was not popular with people my age.  Don’t misunderstand – I was well-known, I was ‘ok’, but I was never going to be cool enough to hang with the people in my peer group.  My saving graces included singing, being really committed to the kids and not pushing the social limits of a system I didn’t fully understand.  I’d sneak cigarettes behind the bunks with one girl, keep the secrets of a lot of people and outwardly accept that I was available at the behest of anyone who needed to talk.  As much as I loved those kids, I remember feeling pretty lonely most of the time and looked forward to being “On Duty” at night, for that way I didn’t have to go up to the canteen and realize that while people were in various stages of hooking up, I’d have no one to talk to.

There’s the backdrop – metaphorically great weather but for when the rains of adolescence pounded my skin.  And here’s the gift of the epilogue – I sat with one of my ‘campers’ who is now a peer.  I could have talked with her for hours.  She is an amazing human being, with a full and colorful life, enormous talent and an adored partner.  And her memories of me were of how much I cared, the perception she and others share that I was ‘there’ for those kids and that my presence was genuine.  She never saw my bungling and awkwardness – how could she?  Though I was convinced everyone saw my clumsy efforts at inclusion, she viewed me  through the filter of her little girl vulnerabilities and insecurities – and she felt love.  I have said before that we don’t see ourselves as others do.  What a gift it is when others see you with far kinder eyes than you could ever imagine yourself.  I think that is the beauty of ‘old love’ – it doesn’t try to impress, it doesn’t hyperventilate at the mention of a name.  Old love graces you with an air-brushed portrait of your best self.  It is comfortable with who you are, because it is so sure of who you were – and the distinction between the two are not as stark as you think.  I love L for giving me that today.  Old love – I think I’ll take it.

leadership, life lessons, management, mindfulness, motivation, work life
mimijk

I rarely re-blog, so you should know that when I do it’s because the post has quality content that prompts thought and consideration. No one offers this up better than David Kanigan’s blog Lead.Learn.Live – 🙂

Live & Learn's avatarLive & Learn

What does it take to be selected as one of the world’s most influential management thinkers?  You think and write like Umair Haque.  Someone who freezes you in your tracks.  And makes you ponder deeply.  This man operates in rarefied air.  This is the second of his posts that I’ve come across from the HBR Blog Network.  Skip my excerpts below and bang on this link to read the full post: The Next Big Thing.

…“Perhaps we’ve gotten a little too seduced by the quest for the Next Big Thing…While it’s certain there will be a next big thing…that will redraw the boundaries of productivity, efficiency, effectiveness — perhaps, the biggest thing we need to face next is us.”

“…Not “us” in the vague, internetzy sense of “the collective.” But “us” as in the even more imprecise, yet razor-sharp sense of what pulses through you…

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inspiration, leadership, life lessons, mindfulness

I Dare You Tuesday

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Ok my friends, it’s time..today is the perfect day to consider what you would do if you weren’t so darn comfortable in your comfort zone.  I know there are some who challenge us to do one thing each day that makes us uncomfortable, to test the shackles in which we have secured ourselves.  I don’t know about you, but that makes me too anxious and overwhelmed,  the thought exposes my insecurity before I even begin.  So how about this – one new effort per week.  What are you going to do to touch where the magic happens?  The allure alone is an incentive;  is it strong enough to entice you to re-evaluate your choices?  Can you feel the exhilaration and fear that accompanies the first steps in a new direction?  Can you imagine how freeing it will be to just try one thing you’ve never done before?  Whether it is at work – with your employees and colleagues, or the care and attention you give yourself,  or the upending of a routine that has gotten tired – it can be anything that moves you closer to the magic of being in your life.  So tell me, what are you going to do?  I can’t wait to hear…

discretion, leadership, life lessons, management, mindfulness, training

Was It Right Or Wrong? Yes.

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“In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities – integrity, intelligence and energy.  And if they don’t have the first, the other two will kill you” — Warren Buffet

When I was at the firm, I facilitated a program about Situational Ethics.   Various hypotheticals were offered up for discussion – all work-related obviously, but ranging in subject from employer/employee dynamics to issues of client confidentiality.  The realities of workplace demographics were a primary driver for the creation of the program.  The firm had grown exponentially and people were not staying ‘from cradle to grave’,  challenging the cultivation of loyalty and a deep understanding of the commitment to work reflective of unparalleled integrity.  Certainly dedication and tenure along with personal and professional accountability are very strong motivators for people to do the right thing.   We all know when something doesn’t pass our ‘sniff test’ – but what we then choose to do is another issue entirely.

As people become more and more anonymous within companies as a result of technology, higher turnover and generational perceptions, the risk of fraudulent and/or dishonest behavior escalates.  Even with the most sophisticated processes in place, someone will still knowingly enter their time incorrectly, submit inappropriate expenses for reimbursement,  falsely assert that something did or didn’t get done, etc.. Are any of these ‘wrong’ enough?  Where does the responsibility rest?  Is it the individual’s responsibility to maintain his/her integrity in the face of an ‘every-man-for-himself’ workplace?  Is it the employer’s responsibility to underscore its absolute conviction to such a principle?  And if the answer involves the latter, how does one respond when some misdeeds are overlooked?

I write this with no answers.  On the one hand, I believe in the very basics of right and wrong – do the right thing by the people who work with and for you, don’t take what isn’t yours, tell the truth…On the other hand, have there been times when what I thought was the right thing, wasn’t?  Have I always told the truth to my boss?  Yes, there have been times when my actions probably were ill-considered, and knowing some of the bosses I have had in my career, there have certainly been occasions where his/her lack of receptivity, defensiveness or demeanor led me to couch my words or obfuscate them to the point of being completely opaque.  Does it matter if my intentions were good even if the outcome reflected otherwise?

I suppose that is why the elements of a given situation often drive the answer to these questions.  Rights and wrongs can often be variants of black and white, not absolute in any way.  Certainly, I still hold that if one’s actions are guided by a belief that first and foremost  we are here to offer the best of who we are to others, we’re on the right track.  But beyond that, I’m not sure there are too many other absolutes.  What do you think?

 

 

“If everyone were clothed in integrity, if every heart were just, frank, kindly, the other virtues would be well nigh useless” — Moliere