Category: humor

discretion, friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness

Karma Gets It Right Again

mimijk

This morning, I’m raising a mimosa to Karma – acknowledging that once again, the truck rolled up the right driveway and gave back to two people what they have so generously put out into the world.  Salut!  L’chaim! Cheers!  Down In One! (oh..never mind the last one – I was having a throwback moment to my freshman year in college.  Note to David – this is not what Eric is doing – he is studying assiduously.

You see, yesterday an incredibly wonderful, warm, beautiful, generous, fantastic friend of mine got married.  My own personal experience tells me that the act of marriage is not always the great big hug from the universe you think you’re receiving.  Sometimes it is a painful, difficult and hurtful lesson that you have got to learn, intentionally masked by flowers, good food and music.  But this is different.  Yesterday the karma truck rolled up my friend’s driveway to celebrate the kind of love that the universe offers as its finest gift to those who are richly deserving.  Their lessons have been hard and emotionally painful, requiring that identities get rebuilt later in life than one might prefer.  Teardowns and subsequent reconstruction is hard work – projects ideally not taken on during one’s renaissance (so much nicer than ‘middle age’). Ironically, the effort that was required resulted in the emergence of two remarkable people with a dawning understanding that this was who they were before they kept adding to their exteriors (which was done to protect what was inside).

And they are amazing people.  I can ‘feel’ her essence from hundreds of miles away.  She knows what I am thinking though she has never met me.  Our emails are prescient and eerie, as if we are connected by some invisible cord that tugs when the other may be in need.  But this isn’t about how special she is to me.  Rather she brings her heart – open and huge – to the world around her.  In her writing, her spirited commitment to others, the magnificent love that just emanates from her whether she wants it to or not.  She is not perfect – that’s not what good karma is all about.  She brings her best self into the kitchen each morning and makes sure that it is reflected onto the day’s canvas.  And if her best self isn’t feeling all the great, she puts on a sweater to limit what others may see until she is ready and treats it gently, tiptoeing into the day, lowering the risk that she could do any harm (she couldn’t).

What she and her husband (she has to practice saying that I think) have is a bond that is so strong and unbreakable that it still surprises them after many years together.  He is her grounding when she flies too close to the sun; she is his ardent fan and passionate supporter should the crowds not fill the stands.  They understand that the magnificence of love is in the giving – and they give to each other without hesitation, caveat or limitation.  They have received what they so richly deserve, for I don’t know anyone other than my friend who begins the day thinking first about others, with almost too little regard for herself.

So I’m lovin’ the karma truck today.  And I couldn’t let a momentous occasion go without my own little wedding reception.  When it’s time for the toast, I hope everyone raises their glass and asks that Love smile on them and be good to them from now until forever.  May laughter and light fill their home.  Enjoy good health, great wine and best friendship.  And know always how much you are loved – by many.  We are  honored to be your friends.

 

humor, leadership, life lessons, mindfulness

Swinging? Like On A Star?

mimijk

Ok, at last check there have been over 19,000 hits on this little blog o’ mine, and I am beyond amazed that there are more than three people following me on a regular basis (well, seven if you include all the kids..um…eight counting my sister…ok, my sister-in-law and parents-in-law – that’s eleven).  I feel a responsibility to you – to be as honest as I can be and with any luck, be occasionally interesting.  If something tickles your inspirational fancy – all the better – it makes my day.

But there’s something going on in the media which is so blatantly flawed and untrue I feel it only right that I try to set the record straight – at least among my friends. You’re welcome to share this with whomever you choose, or just keep it entre nous – your call.

Every news channel, newspaper, e-magazine, etc is referring to Virginia and Florida as “swing states”.  Friends, I’ve lived in Virginia for twenty odd years now.  There is nothing ‘swinging’ about Virginia.  Nothing.  Nada.  Nil. If anything, we would take umbrage at the intimation.  Forget that whole ad campaign “Virginia Is For Lovers” – we’re as much for love as any other state (except Hawaii which is all about love).   We  have a lot of Civil War battlefields, Jefferson’s home (ok, there may have been some swinging going on there, but who’s here who can provide any specifics on that?), a couple of good amusement parks and some great wineries.  Arguably one could go zip-lining in the Shenandoah and you might swing a little if you choose to do that.  We have big malls, strip shopping centers, a lot of geese (who by the way are monogamous), farms and some gently rolling hills.  The swings in our playgrounds don’t even go very high (or low).   I have some friends who have experimented with ‘swinging both ways’ – but none of them live in Virginia.  They’re in DC and Maryland.  We don’t even do much swing dancing here.  Most of us don’t know how to do it (although my in-laws are quite good at this).

And Florida – really?  Have any of you been to Florida lately?  Of course not, it’s the summer – who goes to Florida in the summer?  And those people who live in Florida through the summer aren’t allowed out of their houses, for they’ll keel over from the heat if they venture forth.  Yes, DisneyWorld is there – and when I visited with the boys twenty-five years ago, some of the rides did swing a bit.  Save for that and the disruptions of hurricane-force winds, there is nothing moving in Florida, let alone swinging.  Wait, I’m wrong – golf clubs – yes, there are golf clubs swinging in Florida.  Is that what we’re talking about here?  And if so, what the heck does that have to do with any reportage about the election?  Does either candidate want to golf?  No one’s asked me, but I wouldn’t think now is a good time.

Sigh…this is but one of the many reasons why I’m a political neophyte.  If I think the terminology is strange and incredibly inaccurate, you can only begin to imagine what I think of the theatrical productions.  This is why I stick with Broadway – things really swing there.

discretion, friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness

The Summer Isn’t Even Over Yet

mimijk

 

Ok, I admit – the sun is waking up a bit later these days, and the leaves are beginning to take on a yellowish cast that suggest a certain malaise with the whole summer season.  It’s like they’re waiting for permission to fall – they’ve upheld their end of the bargain for months.  And it’s certainly cooler and quieter in the darkness of the morning, though the stars have been amazingly enthusiastic in appearance.  But last I looked it’s still summer in this part of the world, and dammit, I’m not ready to call it over.

So why are the supermarkets starting to sell Halloween candy?  Why am I seeing store sales for sweaters and jackets when the mere thought of such encumbrances makes me break out in a full-blown glow that requires showering in the middle of the day?  And most importantly, why oh why do I have to hear, read, watch political ads in every possible media forum available?  I’m sorry –  I don’t find any of it fascinating, because I question the veracity of every assertion.  I’m crossing every party line when I write this – for though it would seem that much of the population enjoys the divisiveness, attack ads, accusations and vitriol – perhaps I am a minority of one.  I don’t know what will bring us together when so much time is spent fueling disparity and hostility.  I’ not naive, I know politics isn’t a nice business – it just seems to get uglier to me though.  Perhaps it’s because it is a process that seems never-ending, or maybe it suffers from the absence of the gentler winds of summer.  I tire of verbs like ‘pandering’, adjectives like ‘ineffectual’, comments that suggest that we are so far behind the eight ball there is nothing left for which to be proud and strong.

So, if I could paint the world in my colors, there’d be fewer primary colors right now (pun intended).  There’d be a more effusive use of pastels, with striking, unequivocal hues left for the issues which unite humanity.  Ah, this is a throwback from my love child days I guess.  I want my own crayons thank you very much, and I want to paint a gentler backdrop for our conversations to continue.

This quote from Robert Fulghum comes to mind – “Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon.  A happiness weapon.  A beauty bomb.  And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one.  It would explode high in the air – explode softly – and send thousands, millions , of little parachutes into the air.  Floating down to earth – boxes of Crayola.  And we wouldn’t go cheap, either – not little boxes of eight.  Boxes of sixty-four, with the sharpener built right in.  With silver and gold and copper, magenta and peach and lime, amber and umber and all the rest.  And people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover the world with their imagination.”

Yes it’s naive, even childish – I’ll own it.  But given this flight of fancy on these waning summer days, what would you draw?  What would you give the world that it could cherish and elicit a smile, a laugh?  If we started from a  place of similarity and hope.  As you picked up your Crayola box, with all those brilliant colors all sharp and ready for your imagination to color the world.  It’s your mural – what would you like it to reflect?  Mine would be full of light and wishes and a lousy attempt at drawing fireflies.  It would have children of all shapes and sizes and talents and colors.   I’d color doors that are open.   And I would send a message up to the sky asking for a little more kindness, a bit more humor and a little more time.  It’s your turn – what’s on your easel?

 

 

friendship, humor, inspiration, mindfulness, motivation

Rewarding Reading

mimijk

Yes, Jenni@newsofthetimes@wordpress.com has honored me with The Booker Award – for which I am grateful.  The truth of the matter is any award that acknowledges that I live in my own world is very cool.  It’s ok though – they know me here.

I love Jenni’s blog because she suffers no fools, poses timely and provocative questions and engages her readers to think.  And she manages to do this with a very deft touch.  I’m not saying this to suck up – after all, I was one of the lucky ones who got this award – therefore, everything I’m saying is just accurate and objective.  Truly, check out her blog if you’ve not done so – it’s a great place to spend some time.

The other fun part of this particular award is that I’m to list my five all-time favorite books.  I can’t do that, though I have tried to winnow the field down.  So, the only way I can be compliant is to list five books that I love with the caveat that they are five of probably fifty that would be up there in the ‘amazing’ ether.

A Wrinkle In Time – Madeline Engle

To Kill A Mockingbird – Harper Lee

The Catcher In The Rye – J.D. Salinger

Breakfast At Tiffany’s – Truman Capote

The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe – C.S. Lewis

Now I’m feeling guilty because of all the ones that I’m not listing..maybe this award is more difficult to accept than I thought.  Perhaps I can wax eloquent about this little world I live in…?  I didn’t think so.

Now to  pay this forward I nominate others who undoubtedly have favorites we may want to add to our cosmic library (for a library of outstanding books would surely be cosmic)..I’m tapping on the libraries of:

Amber@wordsbecomesuperfluous@wordpress.com

Bonnie@paperkeeper@wordpress.com

DrBillWooten.com

Andrea@thehandwrittenlife.wordpress.com

Renee@lifeintheboomerlane.wordpress.com

Lori@Donnaanddiablo@wordpress.com

Russ@Agratefulman.wordpress.com

Ivonprefontaine@wordpress.com

It’s your turn!

Oh one more thing – Rhoni my dear @HelpMeRhonda@wordpress.com…I think you still owe your loyal friends and followers a few more bits of information??

Have a great evening everyone..

friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, motivation

The Half And Half In My Coffee

mimijk

I love coffee with half and half (for those of you outside the US – it’s half cream/half milk available in supermarkets everywhere around here).  My efforts ate healthy eating stops at the suggestion that this indulgence be sacrificed.  Can’t do it.  Won’t do it.  It makes my morning coffee more delicious in color and taste, allowing me to savor what one might call nectar from the gods.  Yes, I’m crazy about my morning coffee.  What does this have to do with you?

You’re my metaphorical half and half.  Seriously.  Taking baby steps to try to learn to write is something I am doing for me; the feedback and comments and conversations that we share engage, inform, inspire and amaze me.  And the generous praise I have received humbles me more than I can say.  I’m not that good – trust me.  You however, are phenomenal.  I received four awards over the past few days and for brevity and not a little self-consciousness, I’m going to acknowledge them in this post (and yes, despite my overall discomfort with accepting awards – I practiced my Oscar speech a hundred times when I was a kid…also my Grammy thank you..my Tony…my Emmy..).

Judy who writes raisingthecurtain.net is gifted with a delightful sense of humor and curiousity.  She is exploring all the aspects of her second act and sharing some observations about what to do once the curtain goes up.  If you have not visited her site, enjoy the show…Thank you so much Judy for three awards (talk about a bouquet of appreciation)  –


             And from adogwithfleas@wordpress.com, I was given the

                                                                    award.

A Dog With Fleas is where one goes to hear your own voice (but in better form).  Her writing reflects the challenges many experience daily – the dance of falling down and standing up taller, living with chronic medical issues, learning how to love one’s self and others, the mysteries and vagaries of the opposite sex, the indescribable feeling of a hearty laugh.  Scratch your itch at her site (get it, fleas?? Oh, I kill me  – you will be so glad you did.

Ok, quickly now – the requisite seven things about me (sigh, I find this part difficult)…

1. I think I’m far more graceful than I am.  Witness the ten stitches in one leg and an infected gash in the other and the gross bandages that cover both.  I limp into the gym and everyone cuts me a wide berth (no pun intended).  Suffice it to say – don’t leave metal step-up boxes within tripping distance of me.  Actually, just cut me a wide berth on general principle.

2. I have always been and continue to be a cheap date (though Andy would insist that ultimately there’s a price to be paid which is probably true).

3. I read between two and three books a week.

4. My iPod selection would embarrass or impress my kids, my in-laws, my friends and The Buena Vista Social Club.  Let’s just say that ‘eclectic’ doesn’t cover it.

5. My first crush that wasn’t an animal (the first being Gold Nugget – a palomino – I loved her) was Harry Belafonte.  I thought he was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen and would make my dad put his album on the stereo over and over (and over) again.  “She had one eye on the pot and the other on the chimney” – a lyric which makes me smile still.

6. I’m actually pretty boring – it’s everything around me that’s interesting.

7. For reasons that I do not know I’m a very good mimic.

Now for the fun stuff – who should be the next bearers of these awards?  I am trying very hard to make sure that I’m not repeating myself, so to those I have already mentioned – I still think you’re magical.  To these new bloggers I follow – I am so glad we have ‘met’ –

Paperkeeper@wordpress.com

Keiththegreen@wordpress.com

SusanLDanielseden@wordpress.com

Onthehomefrontandbeyond@wordpress.com

wordsbecomesuperfluous.com

sbkandassociates.com

johnrchildress.com

Thank you again for enjoying the blog, sharing your thoughts with me, and embracing me in this community of talent and heart and inspiration.

discretion, friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness, motivation

I’m Not Knocking Pigeons, But…

mimijk

 
(picture courtesy of The Story People)

 

I have said that there are days when you’re the statue and days when you’re the pigeon (well, someone else said it first really).  And then there are days when the pigeons are just taking this adage way too literally and the universe is taking this way too figuratively.

 

I left for the gym this morning and no sooner had I backed out of the garage, my windshield was graced with avian poo.  Ok, I can be happy with the knowledge that this bird’s digestive system appears to be in working order and that my windshield washer fluid levels were high.  Dawn was breaking, NPR ‘s morning report was on and the air was clear.  Not two minutes later – I am gifted yet again with another token from the bird community.  I look up – nothing there.  I am not amused.  No matter – washer  fluid works, wipers wipe – all is right with the world.  Let’s cut to the chase – there were three more presents waiting for me when I left the gym.  Really?  Is there a sign on my car that is legible only to winged creatures that says “Restroom”?  I’m not gonna lie – this was a bit irritating.  And worse, not one of these visitors was around to own their disregard for my little white car that had just been washed two days earlier.  Well fine, I can take a joke and as long as nothing had dropped directly on my head, I guess it was just my turn.

 

And I guess that’s my point – sometimes it’s just our turn.  It doesn’t mean we’ve done anything wrong nor does it mean that this is divine retribution for some error along the way.  I can’t take karma to the point where each of us is responsible for all the good and bad things that happen in our life.  I don’t subscribe to the view that we are in a perpetual state of uncertainty, fearing that the universe is going to teach us lessons of such profound pain and awfulness.  I do believe that what you give out into the world can come back to you in manifold ways if you keep your heart and eyes open.  I also believe that some days just, well, suck.  I don’t blame karma for that.  I call that life.  I don’t consider it karma that I’ve got some physical stuff that I deal with that occasionally kicks me to the curb – I consider that my roll in the barrel.  And given that we all get a roll in the barrel, I’ll take mine thank you very much.  And I can hope that yours is manageable and short-lived.

 

So anyway, I hope today you’re the pigeon, or goose, or hawk or whatever you choose to be that flies high.  But please, when nature calls, be careful where you aim.

 

Birds in a row
Birds in a row (Photo credit: The Wren Design)

 

friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, music

Sittin’ Back Sunday

mimijk

 

 

This weekend has been full of  disconnected moments – and a quick snapshot is all I can offer because each is too big standing on its own.

A dear, special friend returning after a three-year silence, that has been full of so much loss and pain and sorrow it devastates me to think I wasn’t allowed in for all that time.  Yet sitting in the kitchen for hours, we moved so quickly back in time.  Welcome home, I’ve missed you.

Wonderful new friends returning from memories made with their families, ensuring that this too will be a summer remembered.  May those moments be forever etched in your hearts.

Incredible people straddling two chapters in their lives – the one that is about to end and the one that is waiting to be started.  Let it be breathless and gorgeous and all that you deserve.

A young woman celebrating her impending wedding with her amazing stepmother and sisters, and adoring friends – all who love her despite her Bridezilla moments.  Remember to laugh and let go – it’s not about anything if it’s not about love.

The connection between two people that prompts them to check in ‘just because’.  How can anyone begin to understand wavelengths like that?  I am reminded daily that the best things defy explanation.

Too many political diatribes about the senior population defined as anyone “55 or older” – this means I’m a senior.  I reject this completely…well ok…. if I can’t reject it completely, I am now a constituency of one called the ‘junior senior’ cause I’m just not ready for anything else.   Oh – anyone is welcome to join.  I intend to be an old woman some day.

And as the rain begins to pummel the skylights, I think a little easy listening is in order to get all of us ready for whatever tomorrow holds.  Hey big guy, this is for you.

 

 

humor, leadership, life lessons, management, mindfulness, motivation, work life

You Want To Talk Leadership? Talk To The Hand.

mimijk

I realize that I’m opening Pandora’s box here and as such as I write this not without a some anxiety.  But I’m so vexed by and tired of the iterative articles about leadership, management, developing a vision and motivating people who I’m going to take the risk.

Stop reading these books.  Stop looking for a blueprint that is going to provide you with the path towards the outstanding development of people.  And definitely move away from any books which offer you ‘ten steps’ to a better anything.  Ok, here’s the one caveat to this whole mini-rant – if you find all of  this redundancy interesting, have at it.  Just don’t expect it to add to your tool kit, complement your style and/or turn you into an outstanding leader. And you know what?  There’s really nothing all that new under the ‘how to’ sun.

 

“Hypocrite”, you say – and you’re right.  I offer consulting services about these very topics.  I speak to groups about leadership and team engagement (though I admit that I am not your run-of-the-mill consultant and build programs that are hardly boiler-plate and mildly irreverent).   I’ve read more books than Doan’s has back pills.  And I come away with a different perspective.  If you want to be a great leader of people, learn about yourself  and the people around you first.  Do the obvious – build trust – be consistent, do what you say you’re going to do, engage people in dialogue, watch what they’re doing every day and ask for input.  Provide feedback – informal, formal – whichever,  as long as it’s consistent and regular.  No excuses – find the time.  Give people work that is going to help them expand their minds and their abilities.  Trust that they will do it well and if they struggle,  jump into the gosh darn fray and help them figure it out!  Credit the efforts of others and learn to be generous.  Set the bar high and make sure you’re hitting regularly and owning it when you miss.  Share information – often.  Problem solve out loud and encourage your team to understand how you think.  Not that much is confidential and the more you consider too ‘sensitive’ for others, the narrower the views you offer of the organization’s direction, which further compromises peoples’ understanding and ownership of their jobs.  Get over yourself and get into your people.  Reward accountability with more substantive responsibility.  Praise in a way that matters to the person.  Counsel in private.

And – if you’re going to be in charge of a department, a company, a branch office, etc, find yourself a leader you admire in your organization and ask them to actively mentor you.  Tell them you want him/her to call you on your mistakes, help you exceed the basic criteria and guide you in the nuance and delicacy of effective communication.  Role-play tough conversations; have someone read your draft performance reviews to make sure they’re substantive and meaningful.  And if you want to read a book – do so!!  Read biographies of the outstanding leaders in history (preferable those written by great writers so you don’t nod off), read poetry and essays about the human condition.  Read articles from futurists and pragmatists.  Read humor – it keeps us humble.  Expand your world view.  It’s bigger than your organization.  Practice being true to yourself and those around you.  Fall down.  Get up.  Ask for a hand.

 

To me these are the real lessons.

And the real lesson is for the C-level folks who are putting people into managerial positions and giving them how-to seminars to attend or provide in-house training and consider their jobs well done by doing so.  You’re not going to groom anyone for anything that way.  I left the firm as the culture I adored began to erode.  Whatever it now is, it is not something  for which I would evangelize.  Word is that there are vestiges of its value system, but time is moving the organization forward into a bureaucratic behemoth that is sacrificing much of its identity for newer, slicker and more expedient.  Times change, companies do what they need to do.  So it goes.  But what doesn’t change is the need for outstanding leadership and we have got to stop thinking that a ‘how to’ book or a lecture is the ultimate answer.  Get busy with the practice and doing and trying.  Organizations need to make effective mentorship a yearly objective for which executives will be reviewed and compensated.  That’s how you deepen the bench.  That’s how you strengthen your team.  You won’t find it on page 128.

humor, inspiration, life lessons, love

And One For Good Luck..

mimijk

Twenty years ago tomorrow, Andy and I will celebrate twenty years of marriage.  Given that neither one of us got this right the first time (with an exemption for our kids), this seems like a staggeringly long time.  And yet, time is fickle – for it also seems like yesterday.  Yesterday when I broke out in hives an hour before the wedding,  scared out of my mind about what we were about to do.  Could we do this right?  Would our children be ok?   My mother patting foundation all over my hyper-ventilating chest, Andy coming up to my parents’ bedroom to remind me that all was going to be more than fine.  He was right.

Twenty years since I walked through my parents’ backyard, meeting Andy under my grandfather’s prayer shawl – held high by four poles – one held by his parents, another by my mom and dad,  and our two sisters holding the remaining two.  Our three boys and three nieces crowding around us as the rabbi began to speak (“Mommy, I want cake…is it time for cake yet?”  “You’re gonna be my aunt now”  “Stop pushing me”  “Cake?”)…One little boy holding on to the sash of my dress, another grabbing a leg and the littlest rubbing his nose and making little sneezes.  And Andy looking at me with more love than I had ever known, handsome, confident enough for the whole lot of us as we moved forward into this new life.  I got stuck on my vows and the rabbi stopped to remind me that “we’re all here with you Mimi”…I nodded that I knew, but all that mattered was that Andy knew.  And when he later said that the five of us were all getting married, you could hear the one child sigh “Oh brother”…We kissed through our laughter;  Andy held the back of my head with one hand, and held me up with the other.

The rain stopped long enough for the ceremony and the party – the skies re-opened as everyone left.  They say that’s a good omen.  I have no idea if that’s true or not.  What I do believe, is that which the rabbi reminded us under the chuppah – we are not lucky, we are blessed.  And though he lets me keep my sneakers in the garage, and the contract under constant re-write, there’s nowhere to go without Andy.  I am more sure of this today than I was twenty years ago.  We have created history – some which I’m sure we recall with sorrow – most of which we can remember with pride and laughter.  And twenty years from now?  He’ll still be my anchor and I’ll be his kite.

We danced to this song twenty years ago, and though we’re hardly Fred and Ginger (probably more like Fred and Wilma), I don’t remember my feet touching the ground..I love you big guy..