Category: humor

friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness

Sunday Morning

mimijk

It’s the perfect Sunday morning – good coffee, gentle rain, the New York Times, my husband and me.  All in my family are well.  My friends and I may not always be skipping through life, but we’re old enough to know that there is far more to be grateful for, than envious of.  We’re made stronger by paying it forward and most of us are trying to figure out how to do that more and more.  And for all that – I would re-affirm that it is just the perfect Sunday morning.  I just wanted to wish you the same – and a smile.

friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness

“The Rhythm Of Life”

mimijk

In the musical “Sweet Charity”, there’s a song with a chorus that often repeats in my head (and occasionally out of my mouth) – “The rhythm of life has a powerful beat/Puts a tingle in your fingers and a tingle in your feet/Rhythm in the bedroom, rhythm in the street/Yes, the rhythm of life has a powerful beat”

I’m not tingling this morning, let along feeling the beat.  I think I’m working off of the kind of hum a light bulb makes before it burns out.  Ok, that’s a bit severe – I’m not tired of writing (how can I be when this site is barely four months old), or tired of consulting, or tired of being retired.  My rhythm is just off.  my sense of timing has been disturbed.  Ergo, no tingle.Image

We got back from four days in Puerto Rico last night.  On the flight home, I felt like we had been gone for weeks and began filling my head with my ‘to-dos’ and the ache behind my eyes began.  By the time the taxi pulled into our driveway my list had given birth to more lists and I could only isolate the top priorities – check in with the kids, grocery store run, trip to PetsMart for more dog food, piles of critical mail that must need immediate attention…my heart begins to accelerate and I haven’t even put the damn key in the door.

I was wrong on all counts – w-r-o-n-g.  The truth of the matter is that the half-and-half didn’t spoil, we have enough coffee, the fruit isn’t rotten (though we could use some bananas), no need to head to PetsMart for another week or more, more junk mail than real mail and lots of emails but none that make me groan with guilt for delaying my response.  So – four days is just four days.  This is just too much to wrap my head around.  How can it be that absolutely nothing critical happened?  All just went along as it should.  This is clearly a reality for someone smarter than me.

Take me out of my daily environment and I lose all sense of perspective – even when there’s no time difference between where I’ve been and where I’m going.  I become part of wherever I am, almost as if there was nothing that preceded it.  If ever this truth was underscored, it was made clear to me after a late evening boat trip (we’re talking small motor boat holding no more than eight people) out onto a bay in which bio-luminessence is evident in the blackness of night.  To get to the bay, this lone boat winded its way through a narrow lagoon with mangroves for walls and a roof over our head.  Through the lagoon there was no sky, no sense of being anywhere other perhaps the set of a Wes Craven movie.  Occasionally the Captain would shine a light on a large iguana balanced on a branch, indifferent to the intrusion; ribbons of translucent snakeskin left in aged, gnarled roots, as its owner slithered away at some point comfortable in a newer version of himself/herself; a lone bird sleeping peacefully with feathers that were startlingly white and orange and a beak so black one couldn’t discern its beginning or end (perhaps it was the Pinocchio of the lagoon and had a beak so long it was almost endless).  Once out on the bay, the water looked as if it was receiving stars as they fell from the sky.  The scientific explanation is that the plankton in this area light up when disturbed, the fish glow as they skip above the water.  This nexus of nature’s variables – the type of water, weather, fish, plankton, etc occurs in only four places in the world.  The romantic version is even better.  A wooden pole in the water left a shiny wake similar in its smoky silver color to that of a witch’s brew.  The only distinction between the sky and the water was the sound of the waves lapping against the boat.  And stars in the sky don’t jump with such enthusiasm.  My hand in the water took on this ethereal glow – so beautiful and shiny I never wanted to remove it for I was sure it held magic.  The seven others people sharing this experience were equally awed.  At first we all ‘oohed and ahhed’, occasionally we each would marvel aloud..and then quiet seemed more appropriate.  It was too magnificent to absorb with anything other than silence.

Captain Suarez and Mingo his assistant were characters out of a novel – maybe Hemingway, maybe not for they were gentle and reverent.  Their days-old beards covered the craggy lines that define a life on the water, aging hands that were ropier than those which moored the old boat at the end of the day’s work, broken English that shared their knowledge of astral navigation in a language we all could understand.  I asked Mingo why the traveled with little if any light even in the lagoon and he said that one who sailed was supposed to know where they were going by the stars – the light did more harm than good.Image

You can’t be a part of time like this and not feel with certainty that there is something way bigger than we are.  We disembarked with gracious silence.  What had we just seen?  How do we capture this in our memory?  is there any way to do such moments justice?  What day is it today?

I can’t say much else happened while we were gone.  Our most intrepid friend zip-lined gloriously in the rain forest, my husband golfed (that’s not new), he won more than he lost at the blackjack table.  We flew home – gone for not much longer than a long weekend and I’ve misplaced my rhythm.

I read your blogs last night and this morning perpetually shaking my head with wonder at the extraordinary talent of the people I follow (and some that I don’t), wondering how I will ever get back into the swing.  I know I will, for life calls regardless of where one may be, and we adjust accordingly.  But right now, I am slow to re-enter the music of my day-to-day life while the beat of the last four days still echoes faintly in my head.  That’s the beauty and the bane of going away and coming home…I answer to a powerful beat.

humor, life lessons, privacy

Totally Hacked Off

mimijk

Why you may wonder, would I title this post in such a passionate way?  Well dear reader, it’s an accurate description of more than my state of mind.  I’ve been hacked – my bank accounts, credit card – someone else has figured out all my automated protections and managed to get their undeserving hands on some of my money.  Despite three replacement credit cards, this mischievous little imp (that is so not what I’m thinking) has been showing his/her determination by continuing to try to withdraw some very impressive sums (once even before the card was activated).  The amounts themselves don’t reflect my history at all (which helps prove to the bank that this isn’t me – it’s the pseudo-psycho me who I’ve never met).  So all is now frozen, fraud alerts are placed on everything that even sounds like my name and I’m thinkin’ this is not what Mahalia Jackson meant when she sang “He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands”.

I really don’t like the idea that anyone can ‘hack’ into one’s personal or financial information.  I feel that being hacked needs to remain within the realm of the individual.  I should be able to choose whether or not I want to be hacked off.  So, not only has this person stolen my information, they have taken away my choice about when I want to feel hacked off.

You know, there’s enough going on in my little insulated world at the moment – for starters, there are a couple of disconcerting messages that my body keeps sending which medical science is still trying to interpret (sometimes I can be a little opaque), my continuous quest for world peace, an end to famine and the slowing of global warming.  Trying to spread a little good  karma takes some effort, you know?  Basically this is very distracting and really inconvenient whoever-you-are (I’m assuming you’ve hacked into my blog too – you must be the spammer that emails constantly with the uplifting message “Dear Webmaster, We note that searches for your site on Google are very low…..”).  There’s also a few days away starting Wednesday which I can’t even prepare for because my accounts are frozen (ok, I don’t really need anything, but that’s not the point).

Will I be bothered by this in five years?  I doubt it, and that’s usually my threshold for determining what will and will not totally piss me off.  But I am annoyed.  And I don’t like the feeling that someone can – without any sense of conscience – access my data without asking for my okay.  I mean, I’m a sucker for a good story – if this person told me the money was needed to help a starving family, I would have been an easy mark.  Did you really have to go and hack me off every which way from Sunday?  Well just remember buddy – if you’re not nice, karma can be a bitch – and I’m comforted by the fact that the truck is gonna roll up your driveway one of these days – and will you be hacked off.

discretion, humor, inspiration, life lessons, management, mindfulness, training

Damn You’re Good – Aren’t You?

mimijk

Well, yesterday was our second of five training sessions and I arrived home as energized and jazzed as I was last week.  I am totally smitten with the program attendees (in a purely professional way, of course).  I love their enthusiasm, candor, willingness to challenge me and question each other.  I am fueled by our shared laughter, engagement and commitment.  We’ve got some great mojo working and I’m with them every step of the way.  My hunch is that I’ll be with them even when our time together officially ends, for we are becoming invested in the relationships we’re building.

As I was driving home, some of our discussions replayed in my head (along with a series of Motown songs which had absolutely nothing to do with what I was thinking about).  I often say that we don’t realize how we are perceived by others – sometimes because we don’t want to know or don’t think it’s important to know.  Other times we don’t have an audience that is prepared to tell us.  So I’ll ask you – how good are you?  And at what?

Take the following test (and don’t feel compelled to share the answers – this is just between us)…

–  When was the last time you wrote a genuine, challenging goal – for yourself or in concert with one of your employees?  Do you really know how to write one?  I’m not talking about the over-used, over-touted SMART goal paradigm.  I’m talking about the one that comes from your gut and your imagination – reflective of the knowledge of where you’re heading, where your department should be going and what has to be done once you get there. (Hint – ‘scorch and burn’ is not a goal, though you get one point for using verbs that have some activity associated with them)

–  What are you doing to prepare your right-hand person for a promotion, how much have you increased his/her visibility to the powers-that-be?  What has that person done for their critical second?  Do you have a succession plan in your head and what does it look like?  If you’re going to re-organize, does your plan include a concrete intent to re-tool the resources you already have?

–  What have you learned from history that bears repeating?  What do you wish you had never attempted because it failed so miserably (you get serious points for taking the risk)?

–  Is your department terrific because it churns out work?  Is that your definition of ‘terrific’?  Does it also energize and re-energize itself, share accountability, reflect pride of ownership with strong cross-training opportunities?  What have you done to form a team as opposed to a group of people who just happen to work in the same area and for the most part, get along?

–  When was the last time you wrote a truly comprehensive, honest performance review which contained no surprises for the recipient – and shared it with the employee?  When was the last time you were able to get a straight, candid response from your people about how you’re doing?  Is that information important to you really?

You can ask yourself these questions with little modification within the context of your personal life as well.  What goals are you setting for yourself?  How do you want to ride this carousel – remember, you get only one ticket (unless you’re a cat, in which case rumor has it, you get nine).  What steps are you taking to focus on the little wonders that happen around us everyday?  I know, I know – this sounds trite and worthy of a good eye-rolling – but have you looked around lately?  Our magnolia blooms are resting their heads against the breeze; just the other day a hawk stood poised and still on the roof of our gazebo looking as if it was waiting to have its portrait painted.  My son wrapped me up in one of those mega-hugs that provide a transfusion of love that left me in tears (yes, I’m an easy cry – I’ve told you that already).  Two barn owls have returned for the season and fill the evening air with their hooting and I hoot right back (a ridiculous exercise, but I’m trying to relate on their terms).

I was looking at pictures of my mom and dad when they were young – wow, they were a gorgeous pair.  I miss them daily;  I ache to hear my dad call me ‘sweetheart’ or mom saying ‘hi schatzi’.  It’s more acute around the holidays, as I make the same meals that my mother did, served with some of the same tableware we had when I was a kid.  Am I making sure that I notice life??  Are you?  What am I doing to ensure that I live in gratitude and greater humility?  Did I laugh enough today?  What’s my plan to sustain my energy for this ride and could I do more to make sure I honor this time I’ve been given?  How often do I say “I love you” or “You made my day” – how often did I feel like I couldn’t care one way or the other?  What are your responses when you ask these questions of yourself?

So – how’d you do?  If you had the courage to pose the questions, you’re already ahead of the game.  If you have the conviction to re-visit the answers that you may like to change, you’re really good.  And the mere fact that you read this all the way through and maybe gave it a little thought – well, that makes you terrific in my eyes.  Happy Friday all and Happy Holidays to those who have traditions and beliefs that are honored this weekend.

humor, inspiration, life lessons, work life

Ode To The Indifferent

mimijk

I spend a lot of time writing about work, life, finding your rhythm and remaining engaged in the dance.  Well, I think I owe the under-achievers among us a sincere, heart-felt apology.  I mean, what if you don’t want to be regarded as an outstanding contributor?  What if you don’t want Tony Robbins to change your life (well, he doesn’t do much for me either, so let’s move on)?  What if you just want to get by, listen to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ over and over again, hide under the desk until everyone’s left the office and then sneak out?  What if you see mediocrity as the goal, and barely-getting-by as the preferred course of action?  How have I helped you???  I fear, not at all.

Well, that changes today.  Yes, this is a bit self-serving for I always hope to expand my readership.  Of greater importance though is the transference of information I have gleaned over the years which may help you in your quest to achieve nothing while still receiving a paycheck.  I believe in you – you can do this.  All it takes is a minimal amount of effort.  Try the following:

–  As often as possible, tell as many people as possible how busy you are.  There are surprisingly very few folks in the workplace who realize that if you are able to talk about how busy you are, you’re probably not – so this is a pretty safe bet.

–  Suck up to your boss.  It isn’t necessary that you know exactly why you think s/he is terrific; no need to comment about skills of which you know nothing.  Just make sure you give  him/her sufficient ‘atta boys’ and ‘I’m with you’ and ‘I swear, I don’t know how you do it’ to make them feel your investment (even if you and I both know that your investment is de minimus).

–  Learn how to toggle from Facebook or YouTube to your work screens with incredible alacrity.  If you really want to achieve nothing, this is a critical skill that is worth spending some time developing.

–  Always offer to help others in your department – and then graciously explain that you would if you could, but you’re under the gun and won’t be able to assist right now.  Assure your colleagues that you’ll be there for them next time.  If you do this often enough, ‘next time’ will take care of itself.

–  Don’t engage in any gossip about your company and/or your boss.  The idea is to draw as little attention to yourself as possible – this one is a no-brainer.

–  Dress appropriately – by that I mean lots of beige, grey, ‘greige’ – anything that can help you get lost in the background of the office.

–  In team meetings, you should occasionally yell out “I was just going to suggest that!” when someone comes up with an idea that is met with enthusiasm.  Don’t do this too often, for you could appear more interested in what is going on than you really are, and we all know where that can lead.

–  Show up.  I actually had an employee tell me that she deserved her paycheck just because she showed up every day.  If she happened to do any work, that was icing.  True, she didn’t last very long but that’s another story.  Try not to get the flu on Thursday nights or Sundays – it’s too obvious.

Ok my friends, this was just a beginning.  I’m hoping others can add to this list.  If you find inertia difficult – just keep trying.  You know what they say – ‘If at first you don’t succeed, you’re about average’.  Keep on not keeping on!!!

humor, life lessons

Some Things You Just Can’t Laugh About

mimijk

Yes my friends – there is little that can turn my smile upside down in the morning than waking up to find that we’re out of coffee.  I am no afficianado – I just know that I rally when I smell it brewing, I inhale more deeply when I pour my first cup and I can tell it’s going to be a good day when I get the ratio of half and half :coffee just right.  These are karmic messages to me that suggest the hours ahead are filled with limitless possibility.  Anything that deters me from this hopeful path sets my jaw on edge, my eyes turn into asp-like slits, and for all I know my tongue becomes forked as I begin to hiss.  As such, I consider it a favor to you that I am going to slither back to bed, and dream that when I wake up again, somehow the coffee canister will be full.

anxiety, humor, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness, motivation, training

A Very Happy Anniversary Of Sorts

mimijk

On March 31st, I celebrated my first year of ‘retirement’.  I put the term in quotes, because I don’t know that the word ‘retired’ is applicable – if you scramble the letters around, I think you get to a more appropriate description of my state of mind – ‘tireder’ and/or ‘retried’.  I had grown more and more tired of trying to retain a culture and philosophy that in an evolving firm had become outdated and probably to some, pretty hokey.  I had tried too often to excite senior management about employee engagement, accountability, career development, and the joys of communicating in any manner that didn’t require technology.  At the risk of redundancy, I was so flippin’ lucky – I worked in a firm that embraced me and my crazy commitment until I realized that it was time for me to pack it in.  I wasn’t going to be able to contribute anymore – the train was pulling out of the station and I chose not to buy a ticket.

But – it’s still an anniversary.  I should get a  present or something (note to self – talk to husband).  It’s been a year of tremendous growth, with incredible highs coming from places I would never have expected and dark blues that I hadn’t anticipated which gripped some days with vice-like intensity.  I’ve learned that retirement doesn’t separate you from your convictions (I know, big duh if you’ve been reading my blog) – I still care as passionately about the principles I followed when I was working full-time.  I’ve learned that you are not going to be defined by what you did for a living but how you lived while you were working.  Over the course of this past year, I’m sure I have been vilified and canonized – perhaps even at the same time, remembered fondly and with derision – that is the territory of all who have experienced extended employment tenure.  And I’ve learned that it really doesn’t matter – what counts is my continued love and commitment to the people who have remained my friends.

I discovered that working independently is both freeing and lonely.  A side benefit of going to work each day is having people to engage with, who are also struggling with intense workloads and challenges as well as lives outside of work that they are struggling to stay connected to.  The transition from 200 emails in my inbox each morning that required me to accelerate from 0 to 60 pre-coffee, to coffee and the paper first with no rush to get out the door wasn’t easy (though I have come to LOVE it).  Connected to that intensity was the implicit need that others had for me in one way or shape or form, and I liked that.  Finding a new rhythm was a challenge – knowing I had a groove, but not knowing where the hell I was supposed to dance.  Consulting has provided an excellent segue for me – allowing me the freedom of self-exploration with the structure of developing meaningful programs and training opportunities.  It’s also given me time to hang with my kids who are local (when they’re not working or with their spouses), go to the gym, make some new friends, be a better friend to my old friends, and continue to fight with a bit more focus on a body that keeps throwing me medical surprises and loops for which I’m never prepared.  That old Faces song “Oh La La” reprises in my head “I wish that I knew what I know now/When I was younger”…

Finally I have learned that there are phenomenally talented, generous people out there in Bloggerland who teach me something new every time I read their posts, share a conversation online or exchange a ‘shout out’ in appreciation for their tremendous efforts.  These virtual friends evoke very real emotions within me – I celebrate their success, try to answer the questions they pose of their readers, laugh, etc.  Sometimes it feels like there’s lots of virtual hugging going on – and quite honestly, long may it continue.  These writers have inspired and humbled me.  When I started this in mid-January, I had no idea what I was doing.  I still don’t – but now it doesn’t bother me as much.  There are many more who have been more successful, but there are unquestionably few who have derived more delight and connection than me.  So, Happy-Sorta-Anniversary to me…may new adventures still greet me each day.  “Life was meant to be lived. Curiosity must be kept alive.  One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.” — Eleanor Roosevelt (and agreed to this day, by me :-)).

anxiety, humor, life lessons, mindfulness

I Was Only Kidding

mimijk

In the great big scheme of things, I’m not too surprised I didn’t win the lottery.  Recognizing that the odds weren’t really with me was the first clue.  The fact that I didn’t buy a ticket was the second.  I would have liked to have won though – and I don’t really believe anyone who says otherwise.  Come on – it immediately takes the term ‘winning’ away from Charlie Sheen, so right off the bat, it’s a good thing.

I think we kid ourselves a lot – and not always in a way intended to make us laugh.  The biggest fibs are not those we tell others, it’s the ones we tell ourselves.  The reasons are understandable – we don’t want to change something about our environment or ourselves, the risk of admitting the truth is too great – sort of like touching the house of cards upon which our ego strength rests.  Is it necessary to always be truthful to one’s self?  I think it’s a moot question, for I doubt that the most self-actualized person (Dalai Lama excluded) can lay claim to complete inner candor.  I do think though that as we face spring cleaning – of our yards, closets, garages, etc – we may want to do a little dusting off of some of the lines we’ve been repeating in our heads and see if we can’t box them up and put them away.  Here’s my top ten list so far – in no particular order…

1.  I’m my own worst critic (no I’m not – I only self-flagellate to the point where I feel some discomfort)

2.  It doesn’t matter

3.  I need those shoes

4.  I can handle it – whatever ‘it’ may be

5.  I’ll do it tomorrow

6.  I’m not good enough

7.  I’m too good

8.  It doesn’t bother me – rolls off my back like water off of a duck

9.  I don’t care

10. It’s just how I am

The corollary of course is that the flip side of such statements are undeniable truths.  The tricky part is figuring out where the two meet.  I’ll let you know when I figure that out – after all, spring cleaning typically takes more than a day if it is to be done well.  Who am I kidding?  I haven’t even started yet.

discretion, humor, life lessons

Who Steals The Lorax??

mimijk

Someone stole the Lorax!  I can’t believe it’s true

Don’t people around here have better things to do?

A Lorax bronzed and proud perched among Dr. Seuss’ flowers

We’re all pretty pissed here, we’re all pretty dour

I need to repeat this – some people forget

If it belongs to another, it’s not yours to get

Leave our garden alone!  Bring our Lorax back home!

Go hug a tree, save the whales, write a tome

Your fifteen minutes is up, you looked really dumb

And since this is G-rated, I flip you my thumb.

discretion, humor, life lessons, management, mindfulness, work life

Um..Are YOU Googling ME??

mimijk

Dear Young-Talented-Eager-Person-Seeking-Challenging-Employment-Opportunities;

Thank you for your interest in our company.  Your education and experience closely parallel that which we consider in candidates for employment.  I would also like to take this opportunity to congratulate you on your recent Oscar win for ‘Best Short Film’ – the images of the hollers of Appalachia were hauntingly beautiful and Morgan Freeman’s voice overs provided a lyrical gravitas.  When I think that you are also under consideration for a Pulitzer, you should be applauded for accomplishing so much in your relatively short tenure in the work force.  As an aside, we are all beneficiaries of your full-time efforts while in college to discover the cure for the common cold.  You are truly an impressive individual.

As such, it is with great ambivalence that I must advise you of our decision to extend an offer to a candidate who we feel may enjoy greater success within our organization.  In the interest of full disclosure, the suggestive pictures on your Facebook page, coupled with the salacious conversations between you and your friends gave us pause.  Also, in the future you may want to Google yourself, for there are some rather unflattering comments about you written by some anonymous person claiming to have been held as your unpaid valet during elementary school.  We found the incident concerning the rain boots particularly disturbing.

In closing, I want to thank you again for your interest in employment opportunities with us.  We wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors and great success going forward.

Best regards,

Will Nothire

There’s been quite a bit of press about the appropriateness of employers asking for the Facebook passwords of potential employment candidates.  On its face, there is nothing legally wrong with an employer asking for this information, just as there’s nothing wrong with you denying to provide it.  This is however a far thornier problem than access to a personal site, which may or may not have anything to do with one’s ability to perform a job satisfactorily (I can hear some employers arguing that such information can tell you quite a bit about one’s judgment, but so can really good interview questions…I’m just sayin’)

In the days of MySpace, employers could (and did) access people’s pages and discovered some very disturbing material that certainly impacted their views of prospective and/or current employees.  People would share confidential information about their employers, posted pictures of themselves in compromising situations, wrote about co-workers in ways that bordered on the libelous.  Under circumstances such as that, what would you have done as the employer?  The answers are complicated, and reveal a gold mine of questions pertaining to personal and professional integrity.

Do employers ‘google’ applicants?  I know that some do – and rarely consider that some of the information on the ‘Net may be completely inaccurate (like the ex-boyfriend who posted an article about his girlfriend on a professional web site, which became part of her technological footprint without her knowledge).  Most firms do background checks – carefully ensuring that the information they are seeking is part of the public record and relevant for the position being sought.

But you need to know that nothing is private.  Whatever you put on your FB page; the article you wrote for your university that called for a boycott of classes until the administration conceded to lowering the number of required courses in order to confer a degree; the tweets full of epithets and disconcerting shout-outs to the judges on “The Voice” – it’s all out there for the world to see.  And judge.  Whether it is right or wrong is not the issue we will solve today – or tomorrow for that matter.  But the presumption of privacy when all of our information is dancing around on a cloud with everyone else’s is naive.  Think before you post, consider who may end up being your audience.  And if you really want to be safe – here’s a crazy thought – pick up the phone and talk.

anxiety, humor, life lessons

Marlon Perkins And Me

mimijk

My husband thinks he’s Marlon Perkins.  I don’t want to dissuade him, for it gives him such joy and feelings of power that can’t reasonably be replicated in any other aspect of his life.  I feel like I’m a bit player on “Mutual Of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom”, though we live about 25 miles outside of Washington, DC.  I don’t think of myself as Bill necessarily – I always felt bad for that guy – Marlon would narrate as Bill was sent to wrestle the alligator, run from a charging silver back gorilla, etc..  I am more of a hysterical observer as I watch my husband approach his nemesis,  his focus nothing short of laser-like, his exhaustive knowledge of his prey’s behavior shames those of us lesser beings who are just simply grossed out.

He is in search of the notorious brown marmorated stink bug.  For those of you who live on the East Coast and/or China, these interlopers are not uncommon to you.  A few of them apparently booked vacations here, arriving by boat only to find the environment conducive for permanent re-location.  The vineyards were plentiful, the fruit crop bountiful, job prospects were strong and the housing market very competitive.  What a place to raise a family – very large families.

These are disgusting bugs.  I’m sorry if I offend those of you who find all of God’s creatures to be wondrous, but these guys rate right up there with cockroaches in my book.  They have these hard brown shells and emit a potent, offensive odor if challenged (or squashed or vacuumed up).  They prefer the warmer weather, so after hibernating in the eaves and crevasses of one’s home, they emerge in the spring.  Needless to say, they don’t even have the good manners to bring a thank you gift for allowing then to stay rent free on your property for part of the year.  At first I thought they were a new form of psychic terrorism –  like water torture – they just keep coming back over and over and over…They have no known natural enemies ( but for a specific type of stingless wasp who is still hanging out in China), are virtually impossible to completely eradicate and make their presence known in some very inopportune places (I have had one crawl across the keys of my computer – while keying; take a car trip with me to the supermarket; one even jumped out of my briefcase when I went through security at the airport – until then I had never heard a TSA agent scream).  I love the outdoors; I hate sharing my space with these pre-historic looking insects who actually think they are entitled to be here.

Enter my husband, pith helmet jauntily placed on his head, shorts, knee socks and a safari jacket to die for, stalking his prey with his weapon of choice – The Bugzooka.  This is a large cylindrical contraption with suction-like properties  (sold by Ronco or some such company).  If you bring the tip of the Bugzooka within touching distance of the offending bug and press a button, it sucks the insect into a holding cell.  There they remain imprisoned, no doubt wondering what happened to the free food and room service, before being unceremoniously flushed down the toilet.  Of course, we have a septic system, so you can imagine my anxiety when considering how many of these ugly little buggers are clogging the tanks (my apologies in advance to the people who will come and empty those tanks – it will be a really awful experience which I hope doesn’t leave them permanently damaged).

My husband has quickly become  my hero.  I just have to whisper “stink bug at 2:00” and he is at the ready, calmly pursuing his prey and dispensing his swift, unequivocal  justice.  I think he has probably developed a reputation among the stink bug population, for there do seem to be fewer this year.  I am a  member of the Humane Society of the U.S., the SPCA and really believed I loved all animals great and small.  Yet I now must admit that I have been bested by the brown marmorated stink bug, and saved by my very own Marlon Perkins.

humor, life lessons, mindfulness, motivation

When In Doubt – Be Grateful

mimijk

“You have brains in your head.

You have feet on your shoes.

You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.

You’re on your own and you know what you know.

You are the guy who’ll decide where to go” — Dr. Seuss

Today for reasons I don’t fully understand, everything seems complicated to me.  Attribute it to lack of sleep, the relentless beating of the rain on the roof, the aches and pains that seem to accompany me uninvited with greater regularity these days.  Decisions are playing hide-and-seek in my head (so I’m choosing not to play, for I hate that game), the banal rituals that provide an outline for my day seem purposeless and silly (ok, brushing one’s teeth is always a good thing).  So, I’ve decided to write about these last three months or so and see if it can help define my day’s path – even if it’s temporary – something that produces more than my frustration with the NY Times Sunday crossword puzzle.

I started blogging because I was curious to see what would come out of this crazy head of mine, because I now had the time to pursue alternatives which had piqued my interest in the past and because I am driven by this nauseatingly neurotic need to make a difference.  Let me clarify – a positive difference.  When I was working, so many people encouraged me to write a book – I’m not sure that will happen.  Blogging seemed like a logical step towards exploring the feasibility of publishing.  I could see if a) I was entertaining enough, b) had a message worth sharing and c) had the discipline to do it.  I’m still not sure I have these answers, but I am truly enjoying this experience even though I will likely never be a candidate for ‘freshly pressed’ (not sarcastic or wry enough, don’t use enough media links in my posts and arguably may not write well enough either).  But – in less than three months, over 2600 people have checked me out (figuratively speaking of course), some incredibly smart people have commented on my entries with cogent, inspiring wisdom (family and friends exempted ’cause they’re already pretty awesome) and I am slowly beginning to find my uncensored voice about work, life, leadership etc – I can only imagine what will flow from these keys once I feel my own personal FCC beginning to fade into the distance.

I have learned that there is so much friggin’ talent out there, that I’m humbled to be part of a circle of people who truly question and opine with thought and humor.  I don’t know any of you, and yet I look feverishly for your responses every time I put up a post.  And you never disappoint.  Every time someone ‘likes’ a post, I feel like Sally Field during her ridiculous Oscar acceptance speech (“You like me!  You really like me!”).  When I see a comment, I feel the same anticipation as I did when I used to get my report card in elementary school (that’s when the comments were kinder, but for the standard reminder that I’d learn more if I socialized less).

Specifically, there are bloggers who have kept me going, totally unaware that their generosity, opinions, and ‘atta boys’ were providing me with commitment to this exercise when my spirits began to flag.  These are people you should read – for their originality, entertaining perspectives, experience and life stories.  Props to them all – and my abundant thanks for keeping me engaged in this process as I figure out where I want to go next.  Here’s my list of tremendous writers – I hope you take the time to check out their sites:  kungfuleadership; manage better now; david kanigan – lead.learn.live; misunderstood genius; greg blencoe; rlagee; business coach steve; girl on the contrary; the good greatsby; where’s my T-back and other stories; never contrary and the middlest sister.  I could go on – there’s truly some terrific talent on WordPress.  But I know what I know and I said what I meant/Your talents inspire me 100 per cent.

That you for your shout outs on Twitter, your encouragement and ability to remind me of the beauty and insanity on this little planet of ours.  I feel like I have found an invisible, yet powerful cohort group, as understanding and accepting as my friends and family.  People who understand that on days like this, sometimes all one needs to do is breathe – and be aware of all there is for which to be grateful.  Consider yourself counted.