In This Moment

“In these bodies we live and in these bodies we will die

Where you invest your love, you invest your life” — Mumford & Sons

 

Such a simple concept, yes?  Hard to argue, pointless to debate – and yet.  There is no doubt that I have exhausted this body with thoughts and actions and feelings that had little to do with love.  There are years when I succumbed to the pressure of living to work, displaying outrageous disconnection between value and true purpose.  I don’t think I’m unique.  I think we remember what is in front of us in the moment.

It’s been a challenge to get the karma truck in gear over these last few weeks, and I’m not sure why.  Feeling that perhaps my thoughts are becoming trite and overdone like a delicate Jenga edifice of clichés.  And this morning something clicked, the starter turned over.  Back on the road.

I had a particularly challenging consulting project that is now over.  The participants were awesome, the conversation engaging.  The untenable weight was a result of the politics behind the engagement and I agitated beyond anything remotely sensible.  The details don’t matter – the phenomenal emotional toll that was exacted each time I received vitriolic emails and disparaging comments from the company that had arranged this program – was far more than I should ever have permitted.  The client was thrilled with me and I was happy with the terrific group with whom I spent many hours.  And that’s where I should have been able to insert a full stop.  It’s like trying to separate egg yolks and whites – it takes practice.  I still conflate the relevant and irrelevant; arguably giving way too much attention to the latter.

With the luxury of time, I watch people around me as they approach the tender reality of savoring what really matters.  There is the obvious – our families and friends, a firefly playing hide-and-seek before becoming invisible in the daylight, a newborn fawn nursing vigorously and then falling over his/her legs in an initial attempt at play.  Finding the delight in every story told to me, by people I may never see again, and others who I will know forever.  Holding on to curiosity and expanding the vista to include more and more and more.  I’m not ready to narrow the perspective – this body has room to breathe and absorb and take in and wonder.  This body has room to rest and rejoice, listen and learn, commit and walk away and commit again.

Such simple, unassailable truths – yet coming to this post, I was close to breathing into a paper bag.  The anxiety of insecurity, the constant questioning of whether or not I’m getting this right.  It’s done.  It’s written, and I’m on the road again.  With time however, to renew.

photo

44 thoughts on “In This Moment

  1. Thank you for this honest expression. You are a gifted with words and I always feel enlightened by them – so glad you have returned. 🙂 I am happy that I personally finally have some time and space to have read them!

    • Hi Jane..thank you so much! I too am happy that you have the time and space – to read my posts and more importantly do those things that renew and delight you!

  2. Welcome back my beautiful friend. My heart feels pain for the way you were treated, but I am no longer surprised (see I did learn something in administration) that there are angry, mean and just plain unhappy people out there. They take their job seriously, too, much to the chagrin of those of us that understand that “happiness is a choice”, “yes we can” make a difference every day and while learning the lesson hold tight to the message. I’m glad to see you’re rested. I’m thrilled that you’re back behind the wheel. From Ghandi “Be the change you wish to see in the world”. You are. And, from Margaret Mead “Never underestimate the power of a small group of committed people to change the world. In fact, it is the only thing that ever has.” You are proactive on that road every day of your life. Glad to be along for the ride, once again. “Magic to Do” Mimi. “Magic to Do”. To the moon and back.

    • Hi Jo…Magic To Do is in my head all the time these days!!! And your words as always, are balm for the soul. I hope I do even a quarter of what you believe me to do..xoxox, m

  3. Hello, sweet friend. It’s lovely to hear the jingling bells of the Karma Truck making its way down the street once again. 🙂 Like Jo, I am completely distressed by the nastiness you’ve been subjected to in recent weeks, but as you know oh so well, karma is a powerful force, and we get back what we put out there, for good AND for ill. I’m delighted that your batteries are recharged and you’re once again sharing your love and light with us, honey. Yours is a beautiful, luminous soul and nothing will keep that light hidden for long. I’m so glad you’re back….all there is…xo

    • It felt good to get this written – some how it began to loom larger than it should have, you know? (I can see you nodding your head with understanding)…all there is, always..xox

  4. Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? The problem is when you really care about a project or event and want it to be the best that you just get so sucked in. My mantra was, “it’s only a job” but really I cared about my job too much. Every once in a while I have to pull back and recalibrate. Great post, well written.

    • Thanks Kate..you’re right of course, perspective when confronted with a passion to do one’s best can often collide (and not in a pretty way). Recalibrating is always the better route.

  5. A pause is no less moving forward. It appears that the truck was still moving in the right direction . . . Nice to see you writing again. I miss the thoughts and reflections

    • Thank you Bill..I have held your last few posts in my inbox, returning to them daily. You provide me with more inspiration than you will ever know.

  6. Your mojo was just taking a rest, like you. You both needed some down time. It certainly has gone nowhere. It’s all here. I love that photo of you and Archie snuggled up together – so perfect! It’s so upside down, how others, who don’t give anything, take so much from those who do. I am smiling, knowing you are on the road again, rolling down the highway, with even more wisdom and knowing to share [if that were even possible!] with the rest of us. Keep on truckin’ 🙂 we all are better off for it! xox

    • Oh Bon, thank you for the encouragement..and yes, I guess I needed that down time. As for the picture – the other Sir was in the crook of my leg..it’s our collective go-to pose when it’s nap time or bed time (until Andy comes in, then Archie just lies next to me on the floor. Teddy will not be moved). As for more wisdom? I somehow question that, but I’m tickled that you think so…xox

      • Oh..I know so! Love the snuggle-pose and that one more pup was tucked in with you. Yes, my dear friend, you so clearly needed the rest. To use your notion, the body knows. xoxo

  7. Glad to see you back. I know all about those ‘vitriolic’ attacks, I have often been drawn between reaction and inaction both of which go against the inner compass. I have come to the conclusion that inaction is actually a very active response as it can take every ounce of energy NOT to immediately engage in an angry outburst but instead, pause and take stock, before delivering a calm measured response. Easily said, not so easy for me to remember sometimes!

    Well done you, in getting through your ‘challenging project’ and coming out sane at the other end. I am so happy to see you taking some well-deserved rest as shown by the lovely photo 🙂

    • You raise a great point – for I felt exhausted by the effort not to respond to this individual in kind. I hadn’t thought of it that way Elizabeth – thank you!! As for the photo – I’m not exactly photogenic when sleeping, but the comfort of having the pups close by compensates for the questionable appearance..;-)

  8. Love (1) The Pic, (2) overdone like a delicate Jenga edifice of cliches (where do you come up with this – amazing), (3) and you are back and attacking. Welcome back dear. About time.

  9. Such a cute photo…………………and welcome back my friend you have been missed………I feel like shit today, headache, body aches, stuffed up head, runny nose, coughing and sneezing see why I feel like shit………………lol

  10. Mimi, congratulations! Think of the people who have a better life because of your work. Your ideas will help people find more meaning in their work, deeper satisfaction, and more joy. Good on you!

    You might enjoy Brene Brown’s latest book: Daring Greatly. It’s fantastic. She’s a great researcher and writer. ow she turns her skills on vulnerability and esteem. It’s like a restorative nap!

  11. You look so comfy!! And funny that this post isn’t named the dozing one–except for the connotations, of course. I remember hearing/reading once, that if we hear 100 nice things about ourselves in a day (that would be a damn good day, but that’s besides the point) and 1 negative thing, guess where our attention goes….

    SQUIRREL!!! (heHE!) Couldn’t resist. Have a great day, you karmalicious girl!!

  12. I love this one, and especially the quote at the beginning. Yes, yes, where you invest your love you invest your life. I LOVE it!!

  13. I have blogged about karma/kharma and kismet before, also Mumford and Sons’ song, “Roll Away Your Rock.” I like so much of what you write. Thank you for the pleasure of this post!

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