anxiety, discretion, friendship, humor, life lessons, love, mindfulness

Over-thinking And Missing The Point

See High Above – Marlena Morling

You step outside

into the early morning

in autumn –


And at the exact same instant

a scrap of paper

floats over –


High in the blue

blustery library

of the air –


You look up

and you see it rushing

and lifting


even higher

into the transparent layers

of the sky –


And at once,

you know

it is a message –


A message

that there is no message.

The scrap of paper


is just a scrap of paper!

It is weightless

and free


The world is just

the world –

And you are exactly


who you are –

Also floating now

high inside


The invisible

balloon of

another moment.

What if we could just let it go?  Give ourselves the grace of not second-guessing, seeking the ever-deeper answer, reflecting on our belly buttons until we can no longer remember why we got so engrossed in the first place (hint – there’s nothing going on worthy of self scrutiny of your navel)?  What if we took the worry du moment and greeted it, acknowledged it for what it is and then remember that whether or not we hold it, its resolution will come?  How would our day unfold if we wrote our sorrows on bits of paper and cast them into the wind – for whether we clutch them with tight fist or hold them loosely or let them go – the only thing that will change is the cramp in our fingers?

I hold onto things for too, too long.  I carry them with me as if they are some unique treasure that must be coddled and cared for, when realistically they have little long term value.  The typical takeaway for me is that I shouldn’t have wasted so much emotional energy.  ‘Lesson learned for next time’, I tell myself.  And this little voice in my ear laughs and wonders who I’m kidding.  The truth is, that which should be held onto for that extra moment longer are often the things we miss as we’re moving on – a hug that transmits love, a conversation with a friend who just needs you to be one, a tumbler of Grand Marnier in front of a fire (or hot chocolate with marshmallows – and you have to get to the marshmallows at the perfect in-between-time when they’ve melted but are still formed).

Why is it that every time – every time I look up at the sky and ask “Please?” and say “Thank you” (which I do often enough in a day that I probably am developing a reputation in the neighborhood as the lady with the dogs who walks around talking to the sky), I am lighter?  And if we know that our most peaceful moments come when we let go, do we insist that each time we don’t, we’re justified for doing so?   I swear to you I have some thoughts on this – and I know you do too.  In the interest of perpetuating my adapted version of National Listening Day, I’d rather hear why you hold on so tight, when we could instead release such encumbrances?  What do you think?  Anyone feel like letting go of the string?


32 thoughts on “Over-thinking And Missing The Point”

  1. what a thought provoking but not navel gazing post — you made so many good points–we hold onto the unpleasant things way too long and you are right that things always get resolved –sometimes not the way we would like- but worrying is a lost cause
    I am trying to worry less as I have made it somewhat of an Olympic event–I have come to the conclusion that Iike you I need to look to the sky for my pleases and thank yous more

    1. Thank you!! I am really trying to be conscious of how my thoughts can control the outcome of my day. I can obsess with the best, and yet when I let things go – not only is the situation resolved with less sturm und drang, but I’ve taken fewer years off my life! 🙂 I can’t say I’ve perfected this just yet, but I am really working on it..

  2. I rarely hold onto things, but this usually leaves me open to get hurt again. I love that saying “what anger you controls you” and I try to chant that in my head when I’m angry over things I can not change. Great post.

  3. Ahh, the old “worry an issue like a dog on a bone” syndrome. Sadly, I’m a past master….”should I have voiced my opinion in that situation? Maybe I came across too stridently? I should have spoken up sooner! I wonder what she meant by ‘I’ll be in touch,’….”. Grrr…. Yet You are SOOO right, M, more often than not, it’s all for naught–“figurative gangrene,” a vivid characterization that I will carry with me from this point forward… 😉

    Though I don’t typically turn to the Vatican for guidance, I *do* find this quote from Pope John XIII insightful, “Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.”

    Gonna follow your lead and work on looking more to the sky for my “pleases and thank yous” dear friend, and will start with a big THANK YOU for YOU! Have a happy day, honey! Xox, l

    1. What can I say? David just brings out the best in me…
      😉 “Figurative gangrene” is kinda hanging in my head too..
      It strikes me as funny that you would ever consider yourself strident..but a worrier? Yes my love, I know…something else we have in common. I love the quote, the idea that one ‘consult’ their hopes and dreams. Directing the self-talk towards the light and towards possibility. And believe you me, you were among my thank yous this morning as you are every day..xox, m

      1. I think David brings out the best in many of us… :-). And you’re right–strident and I don’t usually share the room, but unfortunately he sometimes makes an appearance if I’ve sat on things too long and stewed rather than just “dealing and moving on” if ya know what I mean… :-/. And yes, the idea of consultation with one’s dreams is intriguing, isn’t it? Implies that they’re always there, ready to implement if you’ll only believe and act. Hmmm, listen to me, now where *did* I put those ruby slippers of mine?! 😉

    1. I’m touched to the point where I have no words Jules – I’m not deserving of such praise, but I’m so glad you liked it..Sending thank yous your way..hugs, m

  4. I love the quote from St. John the XIII; you bring out the best in us, Miss M….When I find myself consumed, which definitely creeps up on me, I try the ole “let go and let God” mantra, until I really let go or the solution comes to me. Thanks for the reminder for next time. Finding something to say thank you about every day is the best thing we can do. Have a beautiful day. Hope you are feeling better.

    1. Hi funny, I was called Miss M by my room-mates in college because I could lip sync any song from “The Divine Miss M” so accurately, it almost became nightly entertainment in the dorm :-)..Thank you for that smile…And I too try and remember to let go -though I am clearly a work in progress (which explains why I walk around talking to the sky remembering to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ all the time – I’m not the fastest learner if no music is involved I guess)…Hugs, me

      1. I hope you get late replys …….the Divine Miss M, was famous in my house growing up, through my sister. It is funny how calling you Miss M just popped in my head during my comment to you and that you actually had a connection to her and were referred to as Miss M in college. Sounds like good times. I’m glad it brought you a smile…..good karma…it brought me a smile too. I still like Bette Midler, her talent blossomed from those days, another thing you have in common. Hugs….Fran

  5. Mimi,
    I love the image of the lady that walks her dogs and talks to the sky. I do that when I go running and I know that people wonder who I’m talking to. But it works – I let go of a lot of stuff that way. Great post, Mimi.

    1. Hi Cathy – and thank you…I’m really good at the talking to the sky..I still have to remind myself to let go and trust..Have a wonderful Sunday..hugs, m

  6. Often holding on is easier than letting go. Once you let go, you risk entering unknown and lighter territory. Perhaps it’s fear. Perhaps it’s change. Perhaps, I’m over thinking? Just wanted to respond so you’d know I was waiting for the karma truck today and your message and the subsequent comments did not disappoint. So, I am reading, hearing the messages behind all,the words above, looking at the sky and saying “Thank You” – for waking up to this today and for the person who writes so well delivering a message that resonates in my soul every time. Xoxoxox

    1. And this post Jo was written with you in my thoughts..So much we don’t know, so many things that arise for which we have no understanding…and we can think about those realities until we are cross-eyed. At the end of the day, it is your spirituality – and Ben’s – it is in your most elemental request and fervent thank you, that good happens. As it will. Love you, m

  7. Second guessing? Who does that? Not me, certainly not me! Did you open up a little door to my mind and see that I needed to hear exactly these words, this gentle nudge? Of course you did. You cease to amaze me….you really really do. XOXO

  8. HI Twinky, LOVE the talking to the sky! I do that lots on my power walks and my runs. I repeat the ‘Serenity Prayer’ a lot too. I have loved that prayer for so many, many years and it seems as I get older I appreciate it and understand it more. I can get quite emotional and oh yes hang on to ‘stuff’ way too long. I try so hard to put it all “in God’s hands” and try so hard not too worry so much. Have a great weekend. hugs. Twinkle. 🙂

    1. I really try to do the same thing – and I have to also admit it is an effort sometimes to let things go..The Serenity Prayer is a beautiful message and worthy of its acclaim. Acceptance..almost an affirmation in and of itself, yes? Thanks Twinkle …;-)

      1. You are so welcome Twinky. I always love to read your comments, means lots to me. Have a wonderful day. 🙂

  9. what a great post to find at year’s end Mimi! i find myself looking silently at the screen and reconnecting with past insights and practices and learnings about that whole letting go thing, and wondering just how did i wander away from that place to this, and my ever-so-tightly-held bunch of stuff. and your reference to the Serenity Prayer; i think every single word is a meditation in itself! thank you for this gift. and here’s to just, simply letting go …

    1. Thank you my friend..I think it’s an exercise that none of us ever perfect, so perhaps any reminder resonates. I’m so happy this post ‘worked’ for you..:-)

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