My Fingers Are At War With My Brain

I am writing this from my new laptop – a MacBook.  Lovely little piece of equipment – I have named her Lucy (as in “Lucy, I’m h-o-m-e”) with the hopes that we will enter into a long-term relationship of mutual respect and understanding.

We have a long way to go.

First of all, I’ve always been a ThinkPad person.  All my earlier relationships have been with its different iterations.  I knew what it was going to do before it did it – not needing to look at the keyboard, understanding the nuances of its prompts, able to keep multiple conversations ongoing without any need to cajole, plead or praise excessively.  We knew each other.  My files, saved pictures, ideas for future posts, etc resided in ‘my places’.  We made space for each other and dare I say it, had that kind of intimate knowledge of each other reserved for only the closest of friends.

However, my ThinkPad was beginning to resist my ‘Good Morning’, refusing to awake until I re-booted multiple times.  It was beginning to bristle at my demands and would arbitrarily just shut down while we were still talking (so to speak).  It was becoming clear to me that we were tiring of each other – and we hammered out the details of our cyber-divorce.  Right  now she is upstairs, happily sleeping on a bookcase, thrilled to be rid of my furious banging and rants that I always directed at the screen.

Lucy is a laptop with a mind of her own – which I respect.  I like independent thinkers.  But she’s not even trying to be a pal.  I can’t find the delete key (on this keyboard, ‘delete’ is really ‘backspace’), different applications keep bouncing up and down seeking my attention and don’t even ask me where my files are (though I know they’re here somewhere – I think this is a little passive-aggressive, but let’s not go there).  To  move the cursor down, I have to move my finger up on the mouse. It took me twenty minutes this morning just to figure out how to get the power cord extender to work.  Clearly we are going to have to take this relationship very slowly.  In fact, I am going to take her to a relationship specialist at Apple on Thursday – we have got to work on how we communicate with each other.  Right now I’m making all the concessions in the name of maintaining a happy transition.  She’s not doing a damn thing except sitting here pointing out my spelling mistakes and frankly, digging in her heels about what she will and will not do.  Everyone insists how intuitive these MacBooks are – all I have to say to that is ‘ha’!  She’s intuitive alright – she knows just how to make me feel like a nimnut.

I will rise to her challenge though – I am determined to make her my good friend, whether or not this is a relationship she would like to see move forward.  We are going to learn how to talk with each other, remain open and available and delight in our journey.  I will keep her clean and shiny and promise not to dribble coffee on her keys.  She will show me where she has hidden my pictures, quotes, secrets and bad jokes that I never can remember.  This is going to be a union made in techno-heaven.  We are going to love each other with devotion.  We will dammit. But first I need to find an instruction manual.

57 thoughts on “My Fingers Are At War With My Brain

  1. You will master the learning curve that comes with any new device. Mac’s are intuitive, user-friendly, brilliant, and quite full of themselves. Once you master your new laptop, I can send you a bunch of keyboard shortcuts that will facilitate your writing, make your fingers fly, your brain smile at your genius and affirm that purchasing this masterpiece of technology has made your life easier. Congrats on the new member of the family. I Love Lucy. Once you learn it, you will LOVE it and you will never go back to the “darkside” again 🙂 xxoxoxxox

  2. Laughing….I know, in my heart, that this is the start of a beautiful friendship, M, but it sounds like Miss Lucy is going to play “hard to get” in these initial encounters. Try romancing her by humming a little Joni Mitchell….. “All I really, really want our love to do is to bring out the best in me and in you too.”. :-). Xox, l

    • I hadn’t thought of trying to woo her with song…that’s a good idea Lori – I’m going to try it. Of course if she automatically shuts herself down, I’ll just go stick my head in a book. 🙂 xoxo, m

  3. You were clever to name her Lucy…there are soooooo many funny quips to use. Now, is your Lucy a redhead? I agree with Jo and Lori, et al…you will become the best of friends…you will be her Ethel. I have complete faith in you! Say hi to ‘Fred’ for me…xoxo

  4. I have every confidence in you and Lucy finding and creating a beautiful relationship together. Like any good relationship worth it’s salt, there may be a few bumps, some communication styles to sort out, expectations to understand and at times, you may just need a little space from each other. Give her some time, she’ll be there for you!! 🙂 xoxo me

    • I’m showing her the love BonBon – I’m showing her the love. She’s not making it easy, but who ever said that the path to true love was ever smooth…;-) xoxo, m

  5. Uh oh. Guess what The Family just ordered… I hope we can figure it out! Best of luck to you, Mimi. The world needs you to write, so you’d better get things under control.

    • Dear friend, I don’t know about the world needing me to write, but I thank you for that vote of confidence. And just think, when yours arrives, we will already be one with our counseling sessions, so you can just call me!! 🙂

      • Dear friend,

        You have a gift of thoughtful wisdom and a beautiful way with words. You are kids, caring, honest, and thoughtful.

        The world does, in fact, need you to write.

        Best,
        Christine

      • Thank you Christine..thank you..Your words touch me exactly where they would resonate the most – in my heart. I’m humbled and I’m beyond grateful. Hugs, m

      • I love that I included a nice, freudian typo (“kids” rather than “kind”), and that you were touched in spite of it.

        You know now what I spend my time thinking about…

  6. All relationships take work but I believe you are both up to the task. Hopefully one day you feel that sense of being a better person just Lucy is in your life. Ah young technological love. 😉

    • Go for it Tina – we can be novices together!!! And perhaps we will end up being so awesome and adept that others will seek us out for techno-relationship guidance! 🙂

  7. you know, my lucy and i had similar issues in the beginning…but those apple therapists are fantastic at zeroing in on the problem and helping all parties come to a comfortable resolution. good luck and may you and lucy live happily ever after….

  8. You will come to love that MacBook. The keyboard keys have just the right loft – typing is a breeze. The delete key is a combination of hitting both the fn and the delete (backspace) key at the same time. The jumping apps can be eliminated by clicking the Apple at the upper left of your screen, click dock and turn off the genie effect. To add apps to your dock click “Go” on the pull down menu in the finder – select Applications – drag the icon for any that you want on the dock right onto the dock – this makes an alias (shortcut) on your dock. It’s al pretty intuitive as you get into it – congrats – Once you go Mac, you never go back:)

  9. yeesh! This another reminder why I will never go Apple! PCs all the way for me! I understand PC thinking. I have never figured out macs. I hated them when I had to used them for my first Masters and seeing my wifey scream at her new mac over the last few months – plus this post – reminds me why I will never go there!

  10. It sounds like a wise decsion to schedule an appointment with a relationship counselor. When my laptop re-joins the the great computer in the sky, my next computer is likely to be from the same company as you just got yours, and I anticipate I will experience something very similar as you are now. Good luck to all four of us!

    Russ

    • You’ll probably eclipse my ability as soon as you find the ‘on’ button. Btw, I nominated your for the Blog of 2012 award – please check out the post ‘Have I Said Thank You Lately’…

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