anxiety, discretion, friendship, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, motivation, music

So Much Love

My in-laws celebrated their 63rd wedding anniversary yesterday.  What do you say about two people who have successfully navigated the tricky waters of marriage and have spent  far more time together in their union than as single people alone?  My mom used to say you never really understood another couple’s relationship unless you slept under their bed.  I have no intention of crawling under anybody’s bed –  least of all my in-laws.  So, I can tell you what I see.  I see two people with a profound abiding love, who memorized the steps to their dance and have never tired of the music.  I see a man who will go to the ends of the earth for the girl he fell for only yesterday, who protects her with a stoic dignity that requires no bluster or bellow.  You don’t cross Pop when it comes to his wife.  And why would you – seeing and celebrating their love teaches more than most life lessons – and without the pain it usually takes to learn something once and for all.  I’m not going to pretend to understand the chapters of their story, the private moments that define their relationship, the challenges they have faced.  I can marvel and applaud their love, their devotion and their unity.

Next Wednesday I go into the hospital so the surgeon can remove one of these little gremlins that has taken up residence in my jaw.  Though we know it’s benign, we still don’t know what they are, or frankly why the hell they’re there.  All will be well.  I know this – it’s not a Pollyanna thing.  I’m not saying that I have no anxiety – that’s just disingenuous.  But as long as we can keep this to one procedure, I’m good.   I’m good because of my small constellation of friends who have been circling me like the angels that they are.  My friends who don’t ask me to let them know what they can do, they just somehow know what to do.  My daughter-in-law who just checks in with a  concern that leaves me weepy (there’s nothing that can make me weepier than my children).  I’m good because of Andy, though sometimes his sensitivity chip is disengaged.  Because even when he misses the cue, or waits for guidance I can’t provide because I’m groping around in the dark, he really loves me very hard.  And in that way, he’s like his dad.  And in that way, I’m a very lucky woman.

In these chilling days with winds that blow in personal moments of uncertainty, we gravitate to those elements that warm us, anchor us to the ground so that we don’t fly away on the breeze.  I look at my in-laws and know that together they are in the most loving of hands.  I look at my husband and I know I am home.


39 thoughts on “So Much Love”

  1. Happy Anniverary to your in-laws! And as for your approaching procedure – knowing where home is and with whom – will aid, both, the emotional and physical healing. Sending love, hugs, and unconditional support from my home to yours. As for the your in-laws navigating the sometimes murky waters of wedded bliss without guide book for 63 years – wow. Lovely tribute. Xoxoxo xox

  2. Let the Lord add a blessing to your reading! You and your in-laws are blessed. May the peace of God be with you during your procedure. I’m sending up love and healing for you MiMi!

  3. …and being your Home is the greatest pleasure in my life. It’s easy to be there for the love of my life who happens to double as my best friend. It’s a privilege and one I will never ever take for granted. Thank you dollgirl, you’re the cherry on top of my life. I love you.

  4. Hey. I don’t know about gremlins, but I certainly know that your jaw works just fine. Just fine. Let’s not get too worked up over gremlins, mosquitos, and other gnats. Because when the 4am bell rings, you have to hit the Comment train and get us goin’. My prayers are with you pal.

    1. Up and at ’em my friend..And the jaw is still stretched from your Lucy and Ethel clip. Thank you for the good wishes – it’s all good (ok, it may be a little sore for a couple of days, but that’s most certainly not a biggie in my book).

  5. 63 years together is just awesome, my parents have been married for 52yrs and I feel it is sad that many times couples now days often take the easy way out instead of putting in the hard work to make the relationship work………….

    1. I’m sure that’s true – and I also believe that there are some couples who will spend their lives together unhappily – which is also the wrong answer (at least to me). But to spend a lifetime with one you love, to dig in and do the work because the basis of your union hasn’t cracked and broken irreparably – yes, that is the choice I would make.

  6. Mimi – I love this (almost as much as I love you!) – the way you describe your in-laws is breathtaking…and your last line, well, you know that just hits me close to home. It makes my heart happy for you. Just absolutely beautiful. And although I know it goes without saying, I am with you all the way to Wednesday, and beyond. xoxo

    1. Love you BonBon and I know you’re there with me..My in-laws have an exceptional dynamic and love, It’s been a very sweet and humbling relationship to watch. And as to the last line?’s where your heart is sweetie, no matter where that may be. Ya know? 😉 xoxo

  7. Will have you in my thoughts next Wednesday. Take care and your will be on the road of recovery. It’s amazing how surgery is now so good. After 40 years in health care, I am still amazed by the artistry of surgeons. Be well Mimi

    1. Thank you Bill – I too am confident it will be fine. My only hang-up is anesthesia – though I’ve had more than my share of surgeries, that’s the part that gives me any pause. But again, I’m going with the notion that it’ll be fine. I appreciate your kind thoughts (and I just finished listening to Greg Brown – how awesome!), m

  8. 63 years—how amazing and wonderful! My sincerest congrats to them both! My grandparents were married for 55 years before my grandmother passed, and they had a language all their own. Watching them interact was like watching a beautiful dance that no one else knew. They knew every nuance of one another’s moods, the sensitive spots, the emotional minefields, the shared joys and sorrows endured. It was, quite simply, beautiful, and a powerful demonstration of what love can be. It’s so very important to have people in one’s life that you can count on, come what may. So very glad that you have Andy and I know that there are many, many more angels who have your back… Xoxo, l

    1. I know you’re behind me sweetie and for that I am beyond grateful..I love the description of your grandparents and the knowledge that you have their relationship as such a touching measure..xoxo

  9. My dearest Mimi,
    I’ll be thinking of you on Wednesday and sending you sunshine and if you can cram another wee bit of love and hug in your heart overflowing with so much love and warmth around you. You have a legacy of love and wellness and a whole lot more of happiness to spread around! Thank you for this beautiful love-story. This sort of love-stories tend to pass on from one generation to another. It’ll be quite a celebration at your 63rd anniversary. Hugs, Sharon

    1. Ah Sharon, you’ve got me in tears..thank you so much for your love and good thoughts. As I used to tell my kids, you can never have enough love nor give enough love and I am very appreciative for all that I have been given..hugs, m

  10. 63 years is an amazing length of time and they probably have remained young because of the 63 years. I agree. The things that give us greatest comfort are usually closest at hand, spouse, family, and friends. Take care.

  11. OH Mimi, (Twinky) …what a beautiful post!! You know how much I admire your in-laws, wow ….63 years. Love it!! You, my friend will be in my prayers for next Wednesday. Hang on tight!! YOU will be okay. hugs and prayers from the other ‘Twinkle’ in B.C. Renee 🙂 Take good care.

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