anxiety · humor · life lessons · mindfulness

I Was Only Kidding

In the great big scheme of things, I’m not too surprised I didn’t win the lottery.  Recognizing that the odds weren’t really with me was the first clue.  The fact that I didn’t buy a ticket was the second.  I would have liked to have won though – and I don’t really believe anyone who says otherwise.  Come on – it immediately takes the term ‘winning’ away from Charlie Sheen, so right off the bat, it’s a good thing.

I think we kid ourselves a lot – and not always in a way intended to make us laugh.  The biggest fibs are not those we tell others, it’s the ones we tell ourselves.  The reasons are understandable – we don’t want to change something about our environment or ourselves, the risk of admitting the truth is too great – sort of like touching the house of cards upon which our ego strength rests.  Is it necessary to always be truthful to one’s self?  I think it’s a moot question, for I doubt that the most self-actualized person (Dalai Lama excluded) can lay claim to complete inner candor.  I do think though that as we face spring cleaning – of our yards, closets, garages, etc – we may want to do a little dusting off of some of the lines we’ve been repeating in our heads and see if we can’t box them up and put them away.  Here’s my top ten list so far – in no particular order…

1.  I’m my own worst critic (no I’m not – I only self-flagellate to the point where I feel some discomfort)

2.  It doesn’t matter

3.  I need those shoes

4.  I can handle it – whatever ‘it’ may be

5.  I’ll do it tomorrow

6.  I’m not good enough

7.  I’m too good

8.  It doesn’t bother me – rolls off my back like water off of a duck

9.  I don’t care

10. It’s just how I am

The corollary of course is that the flip side of such statements are undeniable truths.  The tricky part is figuring out where the two meet.  I’ll let you know when I figure that out – after all, spring cleaning typically takes more than a day if it is to be done well.  Who am I kidding?  I haven’t even started yet.