An Ode To Puppy Training

 

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Bogey, Oh Bogey

My patience has been lost

Your puppy licks are heavenly

Your belly is just boss

 

But Bogey, dear Bogey

Your head is incredibly hard

Your habits indiscriminate

Instead of in the yard

 

I do not mind the teething

The chewing or tripped-upon toys

The relentless teasing of your brothers

For you’re still a baby boy

 

Dear Bogey, my Bogey

Why is it you can’t see

How wrong it is to squat in the kitchen

And look at me as you pee?

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Sometimes I Just Say ‘Duh’

Patience, grasshopper,” said Maia.  “Good things come to those who wait.”

“I always thought that was ‘Good things come to those who do the wave,”  said Simon.  “No wonder I’ve been so confused all my life.” —  Cassandra Clare

Ah Simon, whoever you are – I have a feeling we’d be thisclose.  Look, I know I’m of reasonable intelligence, arguably well-educated (but for some semesters which I can’t seem to remember involving any books – or classes for that matter), culturally curious. I delight in the rare occasions when I can throw out a $.75 word correctly.

But boy, some days I feel like I’ve just guzzled a six-pack of stupid and there’s nothing I can do about it, except shrug, burp and laugh.  It’s as if my brain decides that logical or coherent thought is not all it’s cracked up to be and takes its leave – with no notice.  I clean the house and do the laundry before the housekeeper comes and try to use as much bleach and ammonia as possible so that the house smells clean before she arrives.  I spend minutes staring in my closet trying to figure out what to wear.  Um…I’m not working full time anymore.  I wear shorts and t-shirts.  And I’m hangin’ around the house today – why is this a concern for me?  Honestly, the Sirs are so wonderful they think I look fabulous regardless – even when I first wake-up.

On days like this, if my body is in a flare (as it is today), rather than take it easy, I start packing up clothes for AmVets, or rearranging cookbooks while standing precariously on the kitchen counter.  I will walk the dogs just as the sky opens up (you’d think the darkness that descends in advance of the deluge would give me a clue).  Andy comes over to give me a kiss good-bye while saying “See you later”, and I ask “are you leaving now?”  I spend a fair amount of time telling myself I’m just a blithering idiot.

And I laugh – a lot.  I am totally okay with my days-of-stupid.  I’ve been living with them for a long time.  Perhaps there are just days when you have to take a little break from thinking.  And I’ve decided that it isn’t a wasted day – on the contrary, it’s a day well-spent in silliness.  Some adults have forgotten the delight in the doofy – I for one can’t remember a time without it.  Wishing you all a day of giggles of your own design.

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