humor, love, parenting

An Ode To Puppy Training



Bogey, Oh Bogey

My patience has been lost

Your puppy licks are heavenly

Your belly is just boss


But Bogey, dear Bogey

Your head is incredibly hard

Your habits indiscriminate

Instead of in the yard


I do not mind the teething

The chewing or tripped-upon toys

The relentless teasing of your brothers

For you’re still a baby boy


Dear Bogey, my Bogey

Why is it you can’t see

How wrong it is to squat in the kitchen

And look at me as you pee?



74 thoughts on “An Ode To Puppy Training”

  1. HAHAHAHA πŸ™‚ As the human mother of MANY puppies, I can totally relate. Awesome, Mimi. He is just adorable!

    1. He is so cute..and absolutely the toughest little nugget I have ever potty trained. I used to be famous in our family for my skills in this area – this little guy has proven that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing!

  2. but he’s so cuuuuuute! (easy to say on this end, as I’m not cleaning up the messes) Seriously, you could sell that as stock photo. He’s adorable. And thumbs up on the poetry πŸ™‚

    1. Laughing..thanks – his adorableness is what is keeping his goodwill reserve so full – well that and his delicious little kisses. But when he looks at me while he’s doing his business exactly where he shouldn’t – grrrr…..;-)

  3. I am rolling and so sorry Bogey and his bladder are giving you the business. It’s times like this we are grateful that our kitchen floors are ceramic, not hardwood and he hasn’t found carpet yet -or has he? Please tell him his Aunt Jo is on the ledge. The pressure is on. How quickly he gets the process down is going to determine whether he gets a new cousin πŸ™‚ Then please pick him up and kiss him and hug him for me as you explain, again, why outdoors is where he should conduct his business. Maybe he needs adaptations and/or modifications? He’s a young boy/pup. You know what the literature says. Lucky for him he certainly has love. As do you my courageous friend ❀

    1. I swear Jo, I think he needs an IEP… πŸ˜‰ And I will tell him unequivocally that his future cousin’s arrival hangs in the balance. That may motivate him!!! Love you..xo, m

    1. Well he is for sure…me? Come on honey, hardly even qualify to be in that category – but thank you. Hey did you have a book come out today Madame Auteur???? “When Good Boobs Go Bad” – a mammoir” – rumor has it that it’s absolutely terrific. Just sayin’ oxox

  4. It’s all exhausting, isn’t it? After 10 days of puppy ownership we still have not had any potty training accidents indoors but I would trade this new skill for a full nights of sleep. I can’t handle the howling at 4 a.m. and 6 a.m. every single night.

    1. We could trade…Bogey is doing wonderfully at night..sleeps in his crate next to Andy’s side of the bed and doesn’t make a peep until I get up (our 5 year old pup Archie usually has that honor). But for all the successful, praised visits outside, you’d think he’d begin to get an idea of where he’s supposed to go. Sigh…I hope you’re enjoying the rest of it though, because puppyhood is pretty precious!

  5. Ahhhh, I remember it well. “What Mom, this spot right smack dab in the middle of the kitchen/living room/bedroom floor isn’t exactly what you had in mind for the place for me to do my business?!” I recall sitting down in the front yard with Beau and sobbing, telling him mom was going to have to move outside on the lawn if he didn’t get in the swing of things, as that was where she was spending ALL of her time. This, too, shall pass, honey, I promise. In the meantime, all the passengers on the Karma Truck get to enjoy *adorable* puppy pictures and your wonderfully creative musings. xoxoxo, L

    P.S. For one particularly intractable pup, I found that *really* special treats, dispensed *only* for bathroom duties done outside and accompanied by lavish amounts of praise, finally pushed us over the top to success….. πŸ™‚

    1. Yup, that would be me – Mommy meltdown…Hmm.. perhaps the treats aren’t ‘treat-y’ enough…I’m glad you enjoyed this little ditty (though I humbly apologize to Tennyson)…xoxo

  6. oh mummy, but mummy please don’t be mad
    i try to hold it but my bladder gets mad
    and opens the faucet and does something bad
    i’ve pleaded and pleaded and asked him so sweetly
    to stop making water inside, but he’s sneaky
    he waits til he’s ready to flow over the edges
    so long he does wait that i can’t make the hedges
    i’ve told him that you mum and daddy aren’t happy
    he says ‘hold yer water, or i’ll talk to old crappy’
    “oh no..please don’t do that” I told him, not lying
    i’ll build up my muscles and just keep on trying
    so please don’t be angry with me mum and dad
    one day i’ll be like brothers and you’ll both be glad

    1. Laughing – what an awesome rhyme!! And we’re so in love with the little goof that we almost forgive him anything. But trust me – he can go all night like a camel. Come the morning light, all bets are off…

    1. Hi know me, I don’t give up on anyone (even the canine kind)…I know he’ll get it eventually – but he’s almost as hard-headed as your son!! With love, Mimi

  7. I am a new puppy mom too. My little guy has the house-training down pretty good. (Accident free since last Sunday when I bought a baby gate to keep him closer to me.) Doesn’t sound like that would necessarily help with your guy. He’s adorable though! It’s hard to get mad, isn’t it?

    1. Oh I’ve got gates up that keep him in the kitchen with me, and only let him go upstairs if I’m with him…Congratulations on getting your puppy to ‘see the light’ (or the trees) – way to go!! Send pictures!!

    1. There is so much joy with a puppy – and each one has his/her own way of making their way into the history of one’s family. Bogey is definitely making his mark (pun intended)..

    1. You’d be amazed at how little help the Sirs are being. Archie plays with him constantly, follws him around outside, and marks the territory for him. And Bogey? He just goes on about his merry little way..

  8. Very nice, puppy training can be either done in a flash or drag on and on and you are sure the puppy is just not getting it to be difficult…………or is that just me……………..

  9. Mimi,

    I am new to your blog but when i saw the puppy pics I went weak in the knees. I have FIVE dogs who are all rescues and not puppies, but that doesn’t stop my Mini Pinscher from lifting his leg on whatever catches his eye…he suffers from little man syndrome and works overtime to compensate and stake out his territory!! And then there’s my FOUR cocker spaniels who are infamous for being hard to train. Thank God for hardwood floors!!

    I just blogged about the expenses and blessings of having pets..I definitely think the blessings win. Keep the faith and when all else fails, open a good bottle of wine!! Cheers!

  10. Oh my goodness Mims…I can just feel the tug-o-war between you two…Bogey staring you down while he does his biz. Reminds me of Stuart! But, I know you got this! Can’t wait to stare down that cute face soon too! xoxo

  11. What a delightful poem! Thank you for pulling my heart strings and making me laugh out loud :D.
    Hugs, Gina

  12. If they weren’t so cute, adorable and giving you such sad eyes, puppies would be the ruination of families! I remember having a stubborn one like Bogey! My ex took our Toby’s side, said he didn’t have good bladder control yet. Oh yeah, this struck a chord with me! Thanks for the nice post to give me a smile!

  13. Great post. This is one of the most inspiring post to me and thankfully it is a good information. Keep up this good work and all the best wishes to the crew members

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