discretion, friendship, life lessons, love

For Andy

Although our anniversary isn’t until the 15th, we’re heading back to the mountains tomorrow to look at some real estate and see if there’s a weekend getaway home in our future.  As you know, the connectivity up there isn’t perfect, so I’m posting this early.

We met because of children, had children of our own and have held onto our own immaturity for more than twenty years.  Tess and Amanda –  two of the most edible four-year olds in the universe became friends, their moms (our sisters) started talking about their siblings and a blind date (did I tell you I swore I would never go on a blind date, marry again, or risk more than required by serial monogamy?).  We met at the harbor in Georgetown (I was waiting inside so I could see him before he could see me – moi?  self protective?).  I walked up to him and say “Hi, it’s me”.  Andy insists he knew right away.  I just knew he was very cute and interviewed me more thoroughly than any candidate I had ever spoken with in my HR career.  Before we were done with drinks, he had gone through his checklist; I was just getting giddy.  I was being interviewed!  And I laughed – a lot.  I still am.

Andy made plans – not just namby-pamby plans – concerts, trips to B&Bs, romantic restaurants.  I was blown away.  His generosity was unequivocal; he took notes the first time I was upset because he wanted to make sure he heard all I was saying.  Honestly?  That did it for me.  No one had ever tried to listen that hard.  Ironically, it’s not his strong point – but a lot is forgiven when you realize that this is the only person in the world who is going to make sense for you.

In twenty-one years you don’t have a tale that just offers giggles.  We’ve had our share of challenges, distances and silences, days of doubt and frustration.  Loss and anger, fear and uncertainty.  My health issues have certainly thrown us for a loop on occasion.  Me with my sneakers;  Andy with his games.  I read and escape in books;  Andy plays pinball and darts.  I was a parent driven by the word ‘yes’;  Andy needed reasons to answer in the affirmative.  I’m always early; he’s always late.  We can make each other crazy and we will always have each other’s back.  I have said before that he is the anchor to my kite – my tendency to fly away is far less precarious knowing that he is holding the string while he waits for me to come back to earth – so I will never get stuck somewhere from which I can’t return.


So after twenty-one years – which have flown in more ways than they have crept, I am beyond grateful and acutely aware of blessings, as corny as that may sound.  I looked at him this morning and thought “my guy” – a thought I have had on more mornings than not.  I’m still having  a pajama party with my best friend – even if we are on different sleep schedules.  We played impromptu charades in the driveway yesterday and ended up in hysterics.  Whatever he maintains he knew  when we first met, I was slower to embrace.  But there is no doubt that we were brought together by familial love and have grown together with a bond that is cherished – both for its fragility and unbreakability.  It’s a wonderful life, and a wonderful love.  I love you Andy…



73 thoughts on “For Andy”

  1. Mims…Absolutely beautiful in such incredible and layered ways; it is exactly as it should be, at least to me. Congratulations to you both for your partnership and love and friendship. And charades :). (I love that!!). Happy anniversary (& house hunting!). Xoxoxo

    1. You know me – there’s got to be charades and silliness or it’s not a good morning…;-) Thank you BonBon. As you know, it was a pretty rocky road to get to here…xoxo

      1. Hang in there…I like having you in the front row!! And remember, Google is your friend, even if they wouldn’t give us a tour! Xo

  2. Sigh…….I love the love of a marriage, the ups, the down, and the sideways. But you’re always there for each other when it comes down to it. Congratulations!

  3. This brought a tear to my eye first thing in the morning. Mimi, you and Andy are blessed beyond measure to have found each other. I used to be a hopeless romantic, and now unfortunately have become a cynic when it comes to love. But this post brings me a glimmer of hope. Happy Anniversary to you both, and have a wonderful time away with your sweetheart. xo

  4. Mazel mazel mazel! The trick is not just finding love, but recognizing it when it lands on your door, and appreciating it for all it is…and isn’t. Enjoy your time away and fingers crossed on “our” new weekend home (just sayin’)

  5. The roses, I remember the roses he sent every year – do you still get them – I’m sure you do. I can’t believe that it’s been this long. Congratulations! You two are my Muse 🙂 Have a blast looking for your weekend home!

    1. Andrea hi!! I am so happy to hear from you!!! And yes, I still get roses (although not every month anymore – but I’m retired – you have to cut corners somewhere, yes? ;-))…I hope all is well with you and send much love..

  6. my warmest hugs to you mims and i hope for many wonderful times to come for you both in the future i hope for you both the best of everything and many many years ahead, hubby and i are 24 years together and i honestly prefer it now to back then,^_^ i love to see my friends happy i love to see them in love and best of all i love to see them both happy and in love, have a fab time both of you xx

    1. Thank you dear Kizzy…there really is something so gratifying in knowing your friends are happy..and I delighted in your post today too!! xx

  7. Oh honey, what Bon said–this is such a lovely, layered, lilting lullaby to love! 🙂 I know that relationships, even the best ones, can be hard work, but when ya find someone who can make you laugh and has your back through good times and bad, you can weather any storm. May your remaining years together continue to be blessed with laughter and love.

    This quote kinda sums up my thoughts in a way that’s much more poetic…. 😉

    “Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins.” — Lao Tzu

    xoxox, L

    1. You’d think Lao would have been married given the depth of his knowledge, you know? 😉 I’m so happy you two will finally meet!!! And weathering storms? Yeah, we have that down…xoxo

  8. Smiling. Enraptured by your words. Feeling blessed to know the way you both look at each other and balance each other. Chuckling to myself as I hear your laughter and see your faces. Enjoy the mountains and each other. Happy Anniversary to you both. With love. All there is

    1. Thank you sweetheart – we do balance each other, that’s well said. I know another two people who found each other and met with their destiny after not even thinking such a fate were possible…;-) xox

  9. As usual, I love this post, even more so since it is a tribute to your husband, your relationship, and, from my perspective, to you. May you both be blessed with much more time together. I look forward to hearing much more about the lives and tributes you create over the next 10, 20, 30, years…

      1. I still get a bit of a pang when I see people my own age riding off into the sunset…… but I am still joining in by holding onto my dreams.

        Have a great party 🙂

  10. one of the best reasons for giving love another chance I’ve ever read. I’m so happy the ‘mane’ man grabbed your string then and still holds it now. you are NOT one to let get away. and…dare I say, neither is he! many many happy returns….xoxoxo

  11. It started with an enchanting phone conversation, then a shooting star, and then a dizzying set of dates. It happened so fast, and the feelings went so deep. How was that possible? It was easy…I fell in love with the most wonderful girl in the world…you. The most special person I’ve ever met. I still wonder how I got so lucky. I hope I make you as happy as you make me., and that we can spend the next 42 years together. Thank you Mimi.

  12. This gives me hope and I will strive to be open for a rest of my life together love… Your story was absolutely my favorite thing today to read and smile at! Blessings and many more years wished you both and families, too!

    1. Thank you so much! And hold onto that hope – if there is anyone who was convinced that I wouldn’t be in a committed relationship again, it was me…

      1. I just read Andy’s comments. I am not on top of my favorite posts like I should be! His words add so much to your story of happily ever after! I am so glad to have read this and will keep thinking positive thoughts on my own situation. You two inspire me!

      2. Keep those positive thoughts and just be open..Honestly I was neither – and I think Andy was both – which made the whole process of finding love so much less fraught for him. Better to find your love again with your heart wide open. And it will find you – I believe that with all my heart..

  13. what a wonderful tribute! You are a lucky woman, but also blessed because you seem to make good sense of things. My husband and I are coming up on 20 years in a few weeks and we’ve had some huge nearly deal-breaking challenges in the last five years. Am glad to be beyond and finally understand that a good marriage will probably have it’s share of “bad” and the good comes because you’ve gotten through it. They don’t teach you that in fairy tales 😉

    Love your kite and anchor image. Sounds like you two make a great pair. Nice song selection, too 🙂

    1. 20 years is a huge accomplishment Liz – early congratulations!! We certainly have had some serious deal-breaking issues in our marriage too. And yet, how do you spend all this time committed to one person without there being make-or-break challenges that test and pull on the fabric as it’s being weaved? I can’t say they made us stronger – I can say that time and distance blurred the edges so that they can blend into the total picture – which has been pretty darn awesome..

  14. This is a beautiful love story that is not a story but a blessing which you both deserve because you cherish each other. Congratulations and a very Happy Anniversary! I hope you find the perfect place; it’s out there. Xo Fran

  15. I don’t read your posts regularly, Mimi. And strangely enough, it’s because they’re consistently too sweet for my taste… too positive, if you can understand such a thing. But now and then, I do come by, and check around. And I have to tell you that this post really made my day. I’m so happy for you and your whole family. It’s true, married life has it’s ups and downs… it’s not a never ending high. But it seems that yours is really a good one, and I can take pleasure in your joy… even from far away.

    1. Hi Shimon, I’m not sure how to respond to your cador other than to write that I appreciate it. And given the twists and turns in my life I have to think about my posts being too sweet for regular consumption. Perhaps that is accurate…Thank you though for stopping by and finding a post that you enjoyed and brought you a smile.

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