anxiety, discretion, humor, life lessons, love, mindfulness

Is It A Women’s Thing?

We were gone for four days.  Four days, a mere three and a half hours away by car.  We try to do this every year – a long weekend with our kids, away from all the requirements of life as we define them when focused on our daily routines.  In the mountains, we are faced with intermittent connectivity, one tv (somewhat inaccessible) and nothing but the breeze and the vistas demanding our attention.

We played board games.

We talked with each other.

We napped (not together).

The guys golfed; my daughter-in-law and I read, spa’ed, and pondered nothing more serious than what to eat for lunch.

And I got the snippets that sustain memories and my heart…My son upstairs in the loft, while downstairs I could hear him sigh in his sleep.   He used to do that when he was a little boy.  Just a sigh out of the arms of Morpheus, tender and calm.  Listening to the melody of the kids caught up in unguarded laughter, oblivious to the delight it evoked in me.  Missing the one couple who didn’t make the trip this year.  Stepping out on the deck in the middle of the night and whispering thank you’s to the sky, so abundantly lit with stars that I was left breathless.   Another memory to include in the passage of time.

And then we got home.  And I become certifiable.

What is it?  Why do I feel completely obsessed with ensuring that the nest be properly feathered after such an abbreviated absence?  Get to the supermarket and refill the coffers (we were gone four days, there was only one woman here hangin’ with the Sirs – how much food was missing?  Not much), buy milk, extra coffee, juice, fruit…Laundry – after all, we must have sullied loads of clothes while spending a long weekend dressed in nothing but shorts and t-shirts.  Sheets?  Changed – though no one slept in our bed.  Quick trip to PetSmart for a treat for the Sirs who had to endure the indignity of being completely spoiled and coddled while we were gone.

One should never be her own therapist, for I am already scouring the DSM-V for my diagnosis.


50 thoughts on “Is It A Women’s Thing?”

  1. LOVE….and sooooo true! A woman thing? A mother thing? I think both, And not a DARN thing wrong with it. Nada! Have a beautiful day of birth my friend…xoxo

  2. We love to get away, but when we get back we need to fluff up the nest and settle in again. I’d give a GAF score of about 70 here.
    And since Rhonda spilled the beans….Happy Birthday!

  3. Every time I go away for a little travel or vacation, I get a new perspective on my life. Then after being home a day or two, I feel stuck again. Stuck is relative; I have a beautiful life, and I’m very grateful. But there are things I do to overcommit my time, and I feel rushed and squirrel-brained. I hurryhurryhurry but all my hurrying doesn’t seem to bring me much closer to my goals. I keep hoping that, as I age, I’ll nail this. Still hoping at 59.

  4. I go into a super prep mode PRIOR to the trip. According to my husband, it’s as if we were going to a planet where there were no stores when in reality we’re going to a popular seashore destination with shops all over. After all, what if I run out of toothpaste!!!! My teeth would instantly decay and fall out.

  5. Mimi, first happy birthday and secondly, what you are looking for in DSM-5 doesn’t exist as we all have a diagnosis of being profoundly human, with a dose of smiles and tears thrown in. All of that makes life giving experiences with others so special. Take care, Bill

    1. Thank you Bill…not just for your birthday wishes but for your gentle reminder that it all falls under the gorgeous umbrella known as being human..

  6. I agree with Dr Bill. So many women are the same way, but yeah, I believe in seeing someone outside your circle of friends if necessary. Although, too many times friends send you away because they aren’t really friends in the first place.

  7. Happy Birthday, Mimi! Loved your article. We are looking forward to going to the mountans in a few weeks 🙂

  8. I feel that way sometimes – the moment I realize one element of my life is perfect, I somehow manufacture another aspect of my life to “fix” (even when it isn’t broken). Isn’t it just the damnedest thing?

  9. Happy Birthday, Mimi! Thanks for sharing the miracles you experienced on your trip. It sounds idyllic! The laundry can wait (at least, that is what I tell myself!)

  10. LOL. This is soo true, honey. I don’t know what the deal is, but it’s been my experience that whether one is gone for 4 days or 40, the amount of post-holiday bustle is equivalent. Hoping that the nest has been set aright and the Sirs are replete with treats. 🙂 Happy Birthday, sweet friend. xoxoxo, l

    1. All is right with the world – and the Sirs would insist far better than they could have imagined. They certainly could stand being spoiled for a few days and they spoiled again with mommy guilt. Thank you for your b’day wishes – so many times over….xoxo

  11. Happy Birthday, Mimi! I love this post, but there must be something wrong with me because I actually do the opposite! Whenever I am about to go out of town for any length of time, I clean my house like a woman obsessed. Am I expecting to die while I’m away and don’t want my relatives to see the mess I’ve left behind? Do I subconciously worry that if a burglar enters my home he will think I’m messy? Whatever the reason, I have been called “certifiable” by my loved ones because of this crazy cleaning ritual. I prefer to think of it as a unique quirk in my personality. It sounds like you are my quirky equal 🙂

  12. Glad you got away and a Happy Birthday is in order? Nice! I rarely clean my house either before or after vacation, so you are perhaps evening out the universe for me? Appreciate it 🙂 Love you noticing and reveling in your son’s sighs. So sweet! You write so beautifully.

    1. Thank you Liz…don’t know how beautifully I write, but I appreciate you thinking so!! And I’m happy to balance out the universe for us both – though I envy your approach to absences from and returning to home. Far more sane!

    1. It’s a piece of heaven that I never fail to appreciate…the coming home on the other hand and throwing myself into high gear for no sane reason – I could pass.

  13. It is that nesting thing Mimi and wanting everything to be just as it should. I am glad you had such a nice weekend. I will get to see all three of my children and spouses this weekend to celebrate my middle child’s 30th and I cannot wait. Next visit will be Christmas…

    1. Oh TIna I hope you have a wonderful time!!! I know you will, for there’s nothing like getting the whole brood together! Enjoy every moment!

  14. Yes, sounds about right. You always make me smile Twinky. It seems we are happy to get away and then when we return we want our little nest ‘just right’ once again. Oh, ♪Happy Birthday to you♪ Is today you birthday? August 7th? My daughter’s birthday today. I hope you had a fabulous day. hugs, Twinkle, (Renee) ♥

    1. Well the day is made even more special knowing that I share it with your daughter. And the fact that I make you smile, is a gift that you return many many times over Twinkle – believe me. Hugs, Twinky

  15. I do the same thing, Mimi. Get unpacked, get the laundry going, get the suitcases in the basement, water the plants, go to the grocery store! Oh well…I’m glad you had a good time with your family. You are not alone in the wacko return from vacation world!

    1. Laughing…me too!! This self-acceptance thing (especially when it’s about idiosyncratic stuff like this) is quite the challenge (albeit laughable)..

  16. Hi Mims..this makes me laugh, the video is great! Where in the world did you find that?! I think I missed out on that gene somehow?? I wish I could channel some of that goodness when I return home in a few days…. Love hearing about the special time together with your family *mostly* all together again, I want to curl up in some small corner and just feel all the warmth! xoxo

  17. I have been away a few days too. I spent the two days before I left buzzing around, making sure there was no housework to come back to. Since I got back, I have been spring cleaning. ………….what? Am I crazy?
    I am so glad to know by your post that this is entirely normal.

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