For The Boys

Mother’s Day is Sunday.  When my mom was alive, this was a day feted like few others.  Dad would have it no other way, for he knew how much it meant to her.  We’d stand by her bedroom door waiting for her to come out, give her a cape made out of a sheet, a scepter (which in actuality was one of our batons) – even the dog had a ‘Happy Mother’s Day‘ sign around his neck.  Coffee first – always.  Then gifts and cards (she felt cards were a critical component of the whole thing).  In retrospect, we took the Hallmark holiday to almost ridiculous levels.  As teenagers, Deb  and I would roll our eyes at the theatrics involved – Dad reminding us repeatedly to make sure that she not be disappointed by any failure of our memories, the Queen for a Day spectacle expanding in scope as we got older.  As dad’s health began to fail, we just celebrated her as much as we could – though nothing really compensated for what she was losing.

I come at this though from a different place.  Boys perhaps are different – more muted in their expressions, though arguably more consistent.  And this is really about them.  Whether they read this or not is moot; it is for them in absentia.

If it wasn’t for the boys, I wouldn’t be one of those women for whom Mother’s Day is intended.  My boys.  Really, the appreciation should be directed their way.  They are not perfect; I have no illusions.  They are however the perfect sons for me.  They each came equipped with unique characteristics that amaze, delight, occasionally frustrate and always, always reinforce my wonder that I got so lucky.  So blessed.  I wish I could still hold them in my lap, yet I also love hearing their expanding world views.  I can touch their heads and remember them nestled in the crook of my neck, and then blink and re-focus on a conversation about work, current events, the Stanley Cup.  I crave them – I aways have.  And though I knew from the time I was able to toddle that I wanted to be a mom, I never knew I would be a  mom to men who I like as much as I adore.   Their love is nutritious – even though I’m  not sure what the RDA is.   All I know is that when I’m with them, I am the better part of me.  I look at them with occasional disbelief – these men, as boys were mine.  These men allowed me to be a mom.  And as convoluted as it may sound,  Mother’s Day celebrates them.  They are my greatest treasures, my heart, my soul.  They are my history and I am watching them travel into their futures.  And to take a line from my dad, “more loved [they] cannot be”.  Thank you for being the sons I always wanted, and becoming the remarkable men that you are.

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75 thoughts on “For The Boys

  1. Your post had me smiling from beginning to end, my friend! You, and they, are blessed indeed. Your post reminded me yet again as to how much I enjoy your writing style, and the spirit of the writer.
    Russ

  2. What a beautiful tribute to your boys, Mimi. And only a world-class Mom would point the gratitude baton back to your children when YOU are supposed to the subject of such gratitude. So Happy Mother’s Day, to an amazing Mom! Your boys are blessed beyond imagination because you raised them and continue to be in awe of them to this day. So fortunate ……

    • Hi Christine…thank you! I don’t think they really think about how miraculous these relationships are. That they hold a certain magic. But I’m so flippin’ crazy about them, that I’ll hold all the wonder until they’re ready to pick up that mantle..xox

  3. I feel for my boys like you feel for yours–today I saw a mom walking her kids home from school and I wanted to roll down the car window and say “Enjoy” because at the time you are so caught up in the every day you forget to enjoy — a woman once stopped me in the grocery store when I was chasing after my two year old and said that someday I would miss it–she was wise and was she said came true

    • I too remember those days like it was yesterday..and sometimes – just sometimes, I can look in their eyes and see those little imps tearing through the aisles of a supermarket finding every conceivable junk food that we didn’t need…;-) It goes by faster than the blink of an eye – it really is true.

  4. I always feel like my son’s birthday is my celebration day, as I remember what I was doing at that moment, 30 plus years ago. You’re a lucky woman. Happy Mother’s Day!

  5. Your boys are very lucky to have a mom as special as you. And you are blessed to have such wonderful young men to call your sons.

  6. and as Paul Harvey would say, that’s the rest of the story. The boys should know how important they are to you. More important though, they should know how lucky they are to have you as their mom. You’re the BEST!!

  7. Dear Mimi!
    I have only one son and I never knew such a love and joy existed until he came into our lives and changed us forever. I am cherishing every moment. And one day I hope I too may be able to write as you have about the man the little boy became. Thank you for blessing my heart tremendously with your boys! What a treasure and I can feel your heart beat in every word you wrote here. Much love, Sharon

    • Sharon your words reach across this cyber-community and touch me so. Thank you..I delight in thinking about the miraculous wonderful world of discovery that you and your little one are on. And it’s true – it’s a love like no other, a delight like no other, magical and at times scary. BUt in my world if I ever wonder about blessings, powers far larger than myself – I look at those babies that are now men. Love, m

  8. What a beautiful tribute to the men who you love; the boys who they were and the end result is they can be who they are because of you and the other man who bears mention here – Andy. The road you traveled was by no means a smooth one, dotted with pebbles, some rocks and not always level; your journey challenging at times. How wonderful for the consistency that is Matthew, Aaron and Paul. Your boys. No more perfect a sound as those three words. They know. They have always known because the synonym for unconditional love is Mimi. Happy Mother’s Day my dearest friend. I write through my tears for I know, really know, how important a day Mother’s Day is and you have written a “score” that resonates within all of us lucky enough to have a day in which we are feted. As the overture winds down Jack was right – “more loved (they) cannot be”. Mimi, he and your mom are smiling and they know what you’ve learned – you reap what you sow and your field is the most brilliant shade of emerald green. To the moon and back.

    • You’ve got me in tears…and you always have my heart – unconditionally. I have Jack’s words written on a picture (some would call it chicken scratch) – I look at it everyday..love you all there is..xox

  9. I love walking in the steps you have gone…the raising of a boy to nudge him along his own path of becoming a young a man. All of these moments are nothing but pure joy. It’s but yet another layer of the kindred feeling I have with you, and that you have raised such fine young men is even more encouraging. Missing mine especially today, this raises tears to the edge of my eyes – but the joy takes over – that feeling of being so lucky that we get to call these boys mine. Beautiful post, beautiful mama. And to my favorite Mama Lion…happy mother’s day. Roar on! xoxo

    • I know your ride with Ben is awesome and will continue to be..I love the love you two have, and I love how it’s cherished. A few tears today yes..but some mama chuffs of pride too. Although yes, when I need to – there’s a mama roar (or two) left in me..xoxo

    • Well of course you’re children are perfect!!! I expected nothing less..;-) And my dad was a pretty amazing dad – he taught his daughters a lot about generosity of spirit..

  10. This got me all weepy. I have four adult sons, and two adult daughters, and my 8 year old little man. I am so proud of them all. One of my adult sons just happens to be home for a couple weeks, and tonight his little brother and I laughed like we hadn’t laughed in ages, and I said, “Oh, can you please come live with us and never leave.” It wasn’t a serious question…or was it? 😉

    • Makes me cry and smile at the same time to hold the visual of you and your two boys..and I can only imagine that on some level, there’s a wish to have him living there. I know the reality, but sometimes fantasy looks so good..:-)

    • Yes we are..truly blessed Tina, in so many ways. But there is no doubt that the gift of watching them grow and flourish, being a part of their lives and hopefully many more of their tomorrows – after that it seems hubristic to ask for anymore..

    • No more printable bon mots from these guys, as you have with Alice (something which I think is so wonderful to do – and entertaining!). And yes, the heart aches a bit from holding all this love, doesn’t it?

  11. so beautiful 🙂 My kiddos are so young (10 and 7) that I’m often too busy getting them to stop fighting (or clean their room or finish their homework or…) to truly appreciate the blessings that they are. But you’re so right–they’re the reason I am a mom. And I totally agree that we’re given the “perfect” children as they help shape us into the best possible version of ourselves. You are lucky to have such an amazing family and even luckier to realize and “get” it. Thanks for sharing and reminding those of us who are sometimes too tired to count our blessings that the blessings are there to be counted! Happy Mother’s Day and a big virtual hug to you.

    • I remember the days of sheer exhaustion (and why is it that boys are so resistant to finishing their homework when they can bug each other instead?) Something tells me though that even when you are ready to collapse before the sun even sets that you already know how blessed you are. Thank you Liz and hugs right back at ya!

      • Yep, when they’re little and you can snuggle up to them each night (giving their hair that cliched mom-inhale-the-scent-of-your-sleeping-child sniff), it’s easy to let the other stuff go. I love that you celebrate your kids on mother’s day. I still want my crown for the day 😉

  12. You are so right. Our children are why we celebrate Mother’s Day. They still fascinate me, as they continue to evolve at 35 and 33. And have my grandchildren!!

  13. Mimi, thank you for a beautiful post and getting us ready for Mother’s Day. Our family is three boys, dad, and Kathy. We make a point of getting out with as many as can show up for the day. What makes it much easier to celebrate is the technology to connect on that day. Take care and have a wonderful day.

  14. Ahhh, sweet friend. What a stunningly beautiful tribute to what I know is a very special bond. You are lucky to have them, tis true, but they are *equally* blessed to have *you* — as a child this I know with all *my* heart. xoxo, L

    • Ok, you got me blushing…thank you! They are a handsome group that’s for sure. And I’m with you – exceeding the RDA is probably the best thing we can do for ourselves!

  15. Happy Mother’s Day Mimi! I hope you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed your loving and heartwarming words. Being a mother of two grown girls, I thank them as well for the opportunity to mother and learn so much about myself in the process. It all started with unconditional love when they were born, the rest is history.
    Wha a beautiful family photo; I thought you were a sister or wife for a minute. Xo

    • Oh bless you Fran – keep your glasses off (or promise not to get your eyes checked)!!! I hope you celebrate your daughters and the gift of being able to learn and love – and teach and be loved by them on Sunday I have no doubt they are very very lucky girls..xox

  16. I was very happy, also, while reading this sweet post! What a good father your Dad was making your mother “Queen for the Day!” You have a wonderful family, beautiful inside and out!

  17. First off, let me say that you seem to be the MOM to boys that I am to my two precious Daughters! And what a beautiful family you have, although you look too young to have given birth to men that tall. Simply precious. Although Mother’s Day is past, you made me feel good about truly being a Mother (as if anyone could ever really do that…u did!) And for that, I say “THANKS SO MUCH!” Great read

    • Thank you so much!! And yes, they are absolutely precious to me..I delight in thinking that this post made you feel great about being a mom too! That makes me really happy..

  18. HI Twinky. Another beautiful post. Thanks for sharing this heart warming post. My children are my treasures as well and mean the world to me. Actually my son is 42 today! OMGosh! I just can’t believe he is that big and all grown up. tee hee. I was looking at baby photos of him this morning and photos when he was just my ‘little Man’. He phones me everyday and I love hearing from ‘my boy’. He calls me his, “Little Momma”. I have a special daughter as well and two beautiful grandkidlets. I too have been blessed and oh did I mention that my Hubby is totally awesome. 😉

      • aw Thanks my friend. I can surely tell you are surrounded by love. I forgot through all my exuberance to tell you how much I love your photo and your smile. It shows the love in your heart for your family. Happy Friday to you. Renee ♥

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