anxiety, discretion, friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness

That Space In Between

Home from the hospital – sore, swollen, fat jaw, bruised eye.  You should see the other guy.  Seriously, he looks great because I was asleep during my limited introduction to the doctor’s graceful hands and exacting instruments.   To add insult to injury, I think I even shook his hand before the procedure began.  Of course, I befriended the nurses, anesthesiologist, anesthesiologist’s assistant, nurse’s aide, phlebotomist and the volunteer who checked me in.  My interest is genuine and it also hedges my bets.  To like me is to help me if I need it and I really try to be a likable kind of patient.  Because mostly all I seek is a smile, a little reassurance and a cup of coffee.

I woke up with my heart pounding in my ears – “You’re awake!  You’re alive”  I silently repeated my name and address,  the names of family members, all the dogs we’ve had in proper order.  Wiggled my toes, fingers, nose – all present and accounted for.  Kelly the red-haired nurse who got engaged two weeks ago and is trying to plan a Christmas wedding because she’s also two seconds pregnant, brought me some ginger ale.  Ah, the art of sucking soda through a straw with a fat jaw is a challenge.  Half of the soda stains my hospital gown, the rest manages to make it down my throat.  “Where’s your pain level Mimi?”  About six, I gesture with my fingers.  “Do you want me to give you something for the pain”  Nope – just want to go home and put my head on my pillow.  Someone give Andy permission to get me home.

The reality is that with a circle of angels and a firm belief that there is a God, I got home pretty damn quickly.  And now that I’ve got nowhere I have to be, I will settle in and calm down, spend a bit more time soothing the voices in my head that tend to repeat stressful moments over and over – and over.  The whole thing took far longer than originally planned, for they removed two nodes instead of one.  But it’s all good – between the slices sent to microbiology and the samples to pathology perhaps we’ll know exactly what these interlopers are made of and how we can kick them out of their residences. Hey, maybe there’s a poem about neoplasm in here!   I hesitate to write too much because I still have a lot of meds in my system.  True story – after one of my spinal fusions, I received a call from work with news about a fantastic year-end merit bonus I had received.  Good manners being important to me, I immediately sent off an email to the Chair and the Vice Chair thanking them profusely for such largesse.  A few days later when I was corpus mentos, I read the sent email and it looked in part  like this –  “Thank you so much – I amrealyslpeesed…”  Was I horrified?  Yup – and when I called them they each laughingly assured me they were archiving the messages as a sample of when my writing ability eluded me.  Nice guys.  But I learned the valuable lesson that it is better sometimes to defer your communications until you are able.  In fact, there should be a warning label on medication which says “don’t drive or operate heavy machinery and if you feel inclined to write something, move away from the keyboard and whatever you do, don’t hit ‘send'”.

So before I make a WordPress fool of myself (wouldn’t be the first time, though it may be the first time it was unintended), I’m going to sign off.  Thank you for your prayers, your smiles, your sunshine, your teasing.  Thank you for your good wishes, better friendships and outstanding support.  Thank you for grinning if you find this sounds a little un-Mimi like and still read it all the way through.  And when I can lift a glass of something less benign than ginger ale, I will raise a glass to you.



72 thoughts on “That Space In Between”

  1. Get well soon Mimi – I can sympathise with your pain having just come out of hospital myself. I can truly appreciate your awful email experience – it happens all too often to me except the meds in the system are more likely to be tea, coca cola or just sheer tiredness at the end of the day. There is much wisdom to avoid hitting the send button… Best wishes to you 🙂

    1. And to you Ken…happy to hear that you are out of hospital (though had I known you were in, I would have written something far more thoughtful far far sooner). I hope you’re now doing well..;-)

      1. Ha ha – did you not read the blog posts all about it Mimi? Still time to go look at them – I wrote about four including a two-parter all about the experience of being ill in a Bangladesh hospital! You might just recognise some of the things I went through! 😉

      2. Oh shoot Ken – please blame it on the painkillers!! I had a brain fart (sorry that’s what it was). I do remember..I wasn’t connecting you with being in Bangladesh – where you obviously are and I know that – I just spaced…I’m so sorry!! My big bad.

    1. Laughing – I really think I am..You’d think with facial and fingertip recognition programs already on computers (which scares the daylights out of me on a lot of levels), there’d be a way to prevent the really stupid email from getting sent (that’s if the drug label idea falls through)..

  2. Glad you’re back blogging and making perfect sense. If you’re having difficulty sipping through a straw, try a medicine dropper in your cheek, or a spoon (if you can open your mouth a little bit.) Stay well, my friend.

    1. Thank you Helaine!! I am doing well with spoons, and can actually drink from the lip of a cup this morning…Your advice is great (as always)..hugs, m

  3. Hi Mimijk as you know I have had the fusion bit a couple of weeks ago but am well on the mend I was fearful of the posting while wasted urge so scheduled my posts instead lol like you i couldn’t wait to get out of hospital those places are enough to make a person ill. I hope you get the right results back from your tests and are back up and about soon. Take care of yourself and enjoy the medication real life looks soo much more interesting slightly out of focus 😀

    1. You were so wise to schedule your posts (and you look fantastic on your vlog btw)…I’ll be up and around in no time – I keep telling my husband that if anyone asks I’m going to say that all this swelling is his fault..;-)

      1. one of my friends once smacked herself in the face with a freezer door after a very good night out and gave herself a black eye (she was talking to me on the phone at the time making sure I got home okay) and as much as she told everyone what happened they all thought her hubby had done it despite the fact he is the gentlest bloke you could every have met

      2. after her experience I learnt that there will always be those who want to believe the worst despite all eveidence to the contrary. the only other explanation some people would accept was she had been to the plastic surgeon for a nose job

  4. Mimi,
    You’re so brilliant, even in post-anesthesia and pain med stupor. I know that the results will come back with good news and that you’ll heal well. And congrats on the bonus. The email story is a good and it’s just like you to be able to laugh at it so soon after. Sending healing and hugs,

    1. Cathy, you are so generous with your praise..thank you!! That bonus story reflects a lesson I can’t seem to fully learn (though I admit this post made a bit more sense). I’m happy this is behind me, and hopefully will bear results that don’t require and more visits to the hospital. In the interim, I’m going to take it easy today and my hunch there’s a nap in my future. Thank you so so much – you made my day!

  5. You’ve given new meaning to “Waiting to Exhale”. Now that your behind the wheel again I am hopeful that it means you are feeling a bit better if not a lot “loopy”, but have no fear you’re writing is perfection. And, yes, I am chuckling at your words and your narrative because I can actually hear you speaking them (even tho’ speaking must be a pain right now) . I have the visual of you making friends from the moment you walked into day surgery until you waved adieu. None of that is surprising, of course. Confident the prognosis will provide the information needed to evict the remaining interloper. Glad to welcome you back. Sad for your discomfort. Relieved that it is over. Keep getting better my friend. Loads of love to you and please give an extra big hug to your handsome nurse. Lots to be thankful for this upcoming holiday. To the moon and back.

    1. Thank you sweets…and will certainly hug Andy twice when he gets home later today. We share relief and all hopes for better days – for you and Ben too!! To the moon and back..m

  6. OH Mimi (Twinky). YOU are such a joy! So happy you are home and safe and relaxing on your own pillows. Take good care of you. I will be having a glass of wine tomorrow after dinner and will be thinking bout you. big hugs and more prayers. 🙂

    1. Thanks Renee/Twinkle!! I appreciate your taking a sip for me (right now it would drool down the side of my mouth..:-))..Btw, I love the new pics on your site!! Hugs, m

      1. Mimi/Twinky..I love your sense of humor. I love Fridays. My Hubby and I have ‘Happy Hour’ when he gets home from work. I have had my grand daughter here the last few days while mommy and daddy are at work as she has a flu bug. Thank God, I have a terrific immune system, must be all the good food and workouts and wine now and again. ha ha Take good care and have a good weekend. Get well hugs.
        Renee/Twinkle 🙂 Love getting comments from you, as you make me smile… 🙂

      2. Considering all the smiles you give others, it’s a delight to think of sending some your way. Lucky grand daughter to have you close so she can get plenty of lovies…Hope she feels better soon!! Hugs, Twinky

      3. Thanks so much Twinky. I am going to have that glass of wine soon. It has been a long week. I hope you have a speedy recovery. hugs. Twinkle. 🙂

      4. OH.. Thanks so much for the comment on my new header once again. ha ha. I like playing with pictures. I think that is obvious. lol

  7. Take care Mimi, I had to laugh because when I had surgery and woke up I thought the same things, what is my name, where am I , how did I get here, what are my kids names. Prayers coming your way my dear friend!!!

  8. That’s you Mimi, loud and clear! I too learned the hard way about sending emails while heavily medicated. Friends don’t let friends email on drugs. Love you and hope you feel better by the minute

  9. You poor thing…and yet you keep your calm and humor with you through it all. So glad you are on the mend. I’m thinking about you and sending lots of positive vibes. I hope you are able to raise that stronger glass again soon.

  10. Oh you…you never told me this was happening! I’m glad you are home with your own pillow and when that glass is raised let me know, I’ll raise mine with you. TAKE CARE OF YOU! And yes, this post makes perfect cents! 😉

      1. All will be well WW – it’s been a challenging few days, but I’m confident (she says with swollen face and bruises with colors to make Estee Lauder jealous)..xox

  11. Mimi – Hope you’re resting and feeling better. I think that you are an amazing person for reaching out to everyone after coming home from the hospital and being able to amuse, inspire and keep it all going. You didn’t sound under the “influence”, just your giving self. Heal and feel well.

    1. Thank you thank you thank you Fran..I’m glad I was able to amuse (being a little dopey made that easier!). I’d say it’s been a slow heal, but then I remind myself that it’s been four days – so with that reality, I’d say I’m almost ready to leap tall buildings (that’s not true, I have no grace whatsoever). Seriously, your generous view of me, your thoughts and comfort are more than I deserve. Thank you and yes, I am getting better..Many hugs, mimi

  12. You are a breath of fresh air!! I have just started on this “blog” train, and as amateur as I am to it, reading yours reminds me that it doesn’t matter what you write about, just so long as it comes from the heart!! Looking forward to what is ahead….Thanks so much!!
    Kimmie from Canada!!!

    1. Welcome Kimmie! I’m so glad you’re on the karma truck with me, and happier still that you have started blogging. I have started to ‘follow’ you and look forward to reading your thoughts. And yes, if it comes from the heart it is always welcome and resonates. Thank you so much for enjoying the post!

      1. Well where I live, it’s more like the karma snowmobile, but hey…..what ever floats your boat as they say!! You are very welcome and it looks like this could be a very fun ride!! Have an amazing day!!

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