“I can’t say I was ever lost, but I was bewildered once for three days” –Daniel Boone
Another reason for me to feel sizeable respect for dear Daniel – only three days of bewilderment? No wonder he became a tv star and iconic figure – the guy knew where he was going. I imagine him looking for animal scat, tasting berries and understanding the topology of the land so well that he never needed to ask for directions. I’m bewildered most of the time – and that’s with a GPS system.
I’m not even sure I know how I ended up here. Recognizing that I have been with myself throughout the last fifty-eight years (with some minimal exemptions through infancy and a few times in college), it seems somewhat disingenuous to beg disbelief, yet…how many of us can say that our lives are playing out exactly according to plan? This isn’t a bad thing – it’s a respectful nod to the reality that for all of our planning, devising, fantasizing, considered thinking – life is going to happen and unfold in ways unforeseen, ways both magical and horrible. And for all the control that we wish to assert over our lives, we also have to let go and let it happen. Because it’s going to with or without permission.
This is a hard pill to swallow for those I know who are pretty controlling. And yet, it can also be freeing. I choose to believe that the fates have been inordinately kind, giving me moment after moment to savor, chance after chance to try again, years of frenetic activity and days of magnificent solitude. My losses have been deep and define my emotional shoreline, offering protection against day-to-day irritants that no longer cause further erosion. Love is represented in the highest elevations and they continue to rise. Laughter, like wildflowers gone amok, proliferate the land I walk. And all that is unknown is the forest I hesitate to enter, at times choked by fear and other times brazen with curiosity. But given my poor sense of direction I’m probably not all that intrepid – I only go as far as the light allows, for I have to be able to see my way out of the density of trees. This I think is the caution that comes with learning a few lessons along the way.
And so it is this morning, with the Sirs asleep (one in my lap, the other on my foot), hot coffee in hand and the most comfortable silence imaginable, I can tell you that I have no clue where this road leads. What I know with certainty is that I’m walking on some spectacular ground, surrounded by the whispers of my friends and family on the wind. I’m planting as much of my best as I can, for I do believe that you get out of this journey what you put in. And with that knowledge wherever I end up, that’s where I’ll be. Ooh la la..
Waiting for the Karma Truck 
Mimi: another great posting. You write so well I am immediately drawn into your world, and it’s a great world. Keep on “keep’n on”.
Thank you John! Such praise from one of my favorite new authors (new to me) means a great deal. I’m happy to have you come on over to my world anytime! 😉
What an exquisite post!
Thank you SO much!
Mimi, youre singing my song. I seemed to have forgot the words lately but Im so glad to have you around to remind me. I hear that snapping sound of me snapping back in to place. Thank you.
I think (hope) we do this for each other – for I too lose the words and music sometimes…and you bring it back to me too!
Thanks Mimi…left you a message on FB mail
For once I can honestly say that I’m glad I’m an insomniac. If not, I might have missed your wonderful reminder of just how powerless we are. As it was the first time I admitted it, it is indeed liberating. Thank you for the reminder, Mimi. 🙂
My pleasure Kip – I too like to think I’m in control..until I pause and really think that through all the way – and then I realize, that something/someone far more powerful than me has the ultimate say..I hope you get some rest though! 🙂
I did, right after I made that comment 🙂 As I learned (and constantly have to relearn) from 12 step programs, the only thing we can truly control is how we react to those things which we have no control over. I’d kind of lost track of that truth.
First things first that photo is mesmerizing, along with your words. Over the last few weeks my path has been filled with some debris. This is a wonderful reminder that I need to surrender in order to hurdle over that mess. Thank you Mimi!
I’ve been there..and as counter-intuitive as it seems, yes – we have to throw up our hands sometimes and hand over the controls (we really don’t have our hands on them completely anyway)…;-)
Going with the flow is certainly freeing. With wisdom, I am also learning to through caution to the wind, although haven’t quite been able to do it in all aspects of my life. I am however moving to a place where I am confident I can deal with any consequences that come my way. I may not be able to deal well, but I will not crumble. Love this post.
Good for you!! I think that’s an essential, self-reinforcing awareness – we will not crumble…
Love this post. But sorry, not a buyer: “I’m bewildered most of the time – and that’s with a GPS system.” You know exactly where you are. Exactly.
Ah my friend, you flatter me and/or have far more faith in my sense of location than I deserve – honestly.
You at your best, again…and how I would love to be those two young girls in the video and spend the day pondering everything you wrote [one is brunette, and one is blond…afterall!!] for somehow you peeked in…
…and I sit here listening to a song with words like ‘I see the landscape changing before my eyes…’ amazed
…what David said…
…and I love the amusing reference to moments omitted from memory from college days….funny, real, and um, can relate 🙂
Wonderful post Mims…Daniel Boone has nothing on you my friend. xoxo
I loved that video too…you can always hang with me Bonnie – but I am as unsure of my location as the next guy (David is being very, very kind)..I’m just learning that it may not always be necessary to know exactly where you are in life – as long as you’re cognizant of all that is happening around you..
And college?? well…um..yeah..a couple of things that I might have missed there..Wishing you a wonderful day my friend…oxoxo
You write the sotry of my life, Mimi, albeit far more eloquently. Though, yes, there has been genuine hardship, I am grateful for whomever I might have been in lives past that granted me this life, so charmed.
You are incredibly eloquent Christine – you can’t fool me…And a charmed life? You betcha and you recognize and revel in it – which is the idea. Makes me happy…;-)
I enjoy your writing so much Mimi, so soulful and makes you think. Enjoy today…I know you will 🙂
Thank you very much Tina!! I appreciate your comments and especially enjoy that you are going to have a wonderful day!! 😉
Mimi, I am in awe of your ability to draw emotional pictures with words! When I think back to what I thought I would be someday to the person I have actually become and the life I have been blessed with, it is remarkable how different the original version is from my current reality. We plan, we make choices based on current situations and our best guess as to the result (or sometimes in spite of what we think will happen!) . Sometimes those guesses are totally wrong. Life is a constant adventure and it seems you have learned to live it. Thank you for sharing.
I’m still learning too Laurie..and you’re so right. The life we plan and the life we have – both precious, both blessed, charmed – whatever – but definitely not replicas of that which we envisioned. I’m so glad you liked the post..have a wonderful day!
Mimi, an excellent post. The digital community is a place where each step is a unplanned much like Antonio Machado suggested in his poetry. We need guides, leaders, and GPS systems. The human touch I find in posts like this are the greatest guides along the way.
Take care,
Ivon
Thank you Ivon – you are a touchstone for so many, I am flattered to think you were touched by this post.
My life just drifts along like a leaf in the wind it doesn’t know where it is going but just deals with where ever it ends up……………..lol Ok my life may have more structure then that but it sounded good……………and I as a young woman I had no plans I truly just drifted…………
Didn’t we all drift at times in our lives? The beauty of believing that it will all continue forever.
This is an amazing and beautiful post, Mimi. Astonishingly beautiful. Thank you!
Wow – this is awesome praise – thank you so much!!
Excellent post Mimi!
All the best.
IAB
Thank you!
Your post is so insightful and true!! We just need to enjoy the ride and let it take us wherever it takes us. And enjoy it along the way. Thanks for reminding us of that lesson.
I’m really happy you enjoyed the post. I hope you always enjoy the ride (with a few exceptions for a bad day here and there, cause they just have to enter into the equation some times)..
You got that right! Try to avoid the few bad days and enjoy the rest. Thanks! 🙂
I really enjoyed your post, and oh how I loved the pic with the dogs – precious things … are they yours? Laughed about Daniel Boone… but I think he may have been in denial !!!
Geographically I always know where I am, but in the deepest sense, you made me look at where I am, and realise that for most of my life, I never knew… I just staggered from one crisis to another….
Now I have enough insight to have an idea , but do we ever know, until we look back???
You gave me much food for thought…lovely writing, thank you
Hi Valerie, I laughed when I read your comment about Daniel Boone being in denial! Although I have two dogs, they aren’t the two in this picture – mine would never be that disciplined. Thank you for your comments and your thoughts. I’m so gratified that you and I are thinking about these things at the same time..
Powerful and positive thoughts as always Mimi! I loved the picture of the dogs too 🙂
Thanks Ken!
All your posts are beautiful Mimi, including this one. Thanks for the inspiration
Thank you for such a lovely compliment Patricia..I hope your day is going well..
How lovely.
Mimi, this is another wow post from you, in souly-brave-honest-touching-the-deep-corners-of-life way. Really inspiring. I’m quite sure life got some rare, hidden treasures for you, to be found soon. This post encourages me to loose my fear for future(as soon to be university graduate on current, not so exciting labor market). So thank you for that! btw, I really enjoy your writing.
Thank you Joanna..and thank you for liking my writing! That means a great deal to me..If I gave you a little more freedom from fear of the future than all the better! 🙂
hahaa Mimi, gosh, the name Joanna will start hunting me in my dreams. I think from now on, to be on the safe side “pure name-wise” I’ll stick to signing my name in the future. hugs, Kristi ;P
You have me so confused at this point!! 🙂
nothing to be confused about. My name is Kristi 🙂
You are so right. Life is going to happen whether we try to stop it from happening or control it from doing something we (our ego selves) do not particularly like because life knows what life needs to build a better future for tomorrow even if it looks ugly in the moment. Life has been going on for this long so why not trust it?
I’m with you!
This is one of my favorite of your posts, Mimi. It is well written, and is a wonderful glimpse into important parts of your life and spirit. Thank you!
Russ
So happy you stopped by Russ and happier still that you liked this one!! m
It’s exhausting to search out knowledgeable individuals on this matter, but you sound like you understand what you’re speaking about! Thanks