Month: March 2012

humor, leadership, life lessons, management, mindfulness, motivation, work life

Goal Setting – A Creative Approach

mimijk

After majoring in partying during my first two years of college, I got serious and then decided to double major.  Psychology and Education.  Did I envision being a Chief HR Officer?  Absolutely not.  My path to this profession was remarkably serendipitous (at least in my mind) and as it unfolded seemed to occur with what I perceived as very little input on my part.  Stuff just seemed to happen.  I realize now that this perception was inaccurate and skewed.  It allowed me to react with predictable self-deprecating dismissiveness at my successes, and passionate self-flagellation when absorbing my failures (in case you haven’t noticed, I’ve always had a flair for high drama – I’m particularly good at self-flagellation).  The truth of the matter is that I’ve always had goals.  Yes they were fluid, without question the path to their achievement was often more circuitous than direct and at times these goals were downright misguided.  But as my hopes for the future crystallized, the navigation of my ‘goal map’ became easier to read  – even when I was heading directly off course (have I also mentioned that geography was never my strong suit).

Just as advertisers use story boards when constructing a client pitch, I am a strong believer in using story boards to help determine what our goals are and how they may be achieved.  Think of the success of PinInterest.  Basically, you are ‘pinning’ and ‘repinning’ pictures that resonate with you on a visceral level – be they of places, nature, humor, etc..  Not only does it feel good to look at the compendium of your personal favorites, it’s self-reinforcing.  So…you pin some more – and if you look at your collection closely, you will see certain patterns.  In effect, it becomes a story board about you.  I used to encourage people to build story boards at work when training on the topic of goal setting (Creativity in a law firm?  A bit oxymoronic I suppose).

Try it – cut out pictures that inspire you, print off quotes or thoughts that excite you and tape them onto a piece of oak tag (if that sounds too dated, just stick ’em up on a bulletin board).  See what messages you glean from what may seem like a random display.  Don’t be discomfited by the pieces that don’t seem to fit – if it was all perfect, it wouldn’t be self-reflective.  What you will find though is that there is a pattern in that collage of yours.  And it can help define what it is you want  – in your professional and/or personal life (depending on what your story board is focused on of course).  One quote that appears on my current board, first appeared on the board I created when I left the firm.  Kofi Annan once said, “To live is to choose.  But to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to go there.”  It fuels my pictorial narrative.

Once you get a sense of what it is you want and need to do – take a deep breath, have a glass of wine, revel for a moment in the clarity you have found.  Then communicate your thoughts – write them down, tell a colleague, share them with your team.  And this is where it gets a little tricky – remember that a goal is only as achievable as the objectives that support its completion.  Objectives are the discreet, actionable steps that are taken to make a goal attainable.  For big picture people this is definitely the harder of the two steps, for it’s where you break it all down into timelines, responsibilities and commitments.  When you write objectives, use verbs that imply movement – there is no room for the passive voice in the world of achieving goals!  I realize that this is no easy challenge I’m throwing out into cyberspace, but I believe that you can take your dreams, your unspoken hopes and turn them into concrete goals with clear, defined steps.  Perhaps the dreaming part is more romantic; the realization of a dream is more fulfilling and enriching.  And one of the gazillion wonders of life is that we can dream many dreams, understand where our values and life choices intersect and create as many story boards as we want to help chart our path.  And that, is pretty damn terrific

humor, leadership, life lessons, management, Uncategorized, work life

E.T. Management – Part 1

mimijk

There’s a lot to be learned about management from going to the movies.  Much of what I needed to know about the basics of working with people, I learned from “E.T’.  To risk an attenuated blog (for a change), I’ll provide you with the abbreviated version.  We can write each other about it as thoughts come to mind…

1.  It’s the things we don’t know that scare us the most.  Once we face an issue head-on, it typically casts a more comfortable shadow.

2.  Don’t discriminate against anyone just because they’re not like you.  They may be better.

3.  The Platinum Rule trumps the Golden Rule – treat others as they wish to be treated, not necessarily in the way in which you think they want to be treated.

4.  M&Ms can improve a bad day.

5.  People communicate differently.  The first step is to figure out whether or not you understand what someone is trying to tell you and where s/he is coming from (ok, pun intended).

6.  Most of us have a Plan A; it’s essential to have a plan B.

7.  If you can’t get past an obstacle, enlist the help of others and try hitting it head on or jumping right over it.

8.  Love and profit can exist in the same sentence.

9.  If you go too far afield from your authentic self, compromise too many values and distance yourself from what you know is right for you, it’s time to get back to an environment where you thrive.

10. Phone home.

leadership, management, mindfulness, motivation, music, work life

The Rhythm Of Leadership (even if you’re tone deaf)

mimijk

“Where you lead/I will follow/Anywhere that you tell me to…”  Ah, Carole…I was a rabid follower – Carole, James, Laura, CSN&Y.  I followed them (and others) because I loved their music, their words, the way I felt when I sang along (some of my fondest memories include sitting in my friend Allie’s house eating Cadbury wafers and singing..she had a pure, clear soprano; I had a rich and sincere baritone, sorta).

I followed a speaker at a peace rally in NY after the Kent State shootings. He spoke Spanish (I didn’t), but the passion and conviction of his words crossed the barrier of my linguistic ignorance (ok, he was cute too).  Following him to the subway to head home, we both got pipe-whipped by some indignant construction workers – the commitment I had to him almost justified the consequences.  I will admit it was embarrassing to have to stop at my pediatrician’s office for some salve before heading to a production of ‘Damn Yankees’ at school that night (the closest I will ever come to being a baseball player).

I followed one of my professors from grad school as avidly as one might a guru.  He was so incredibly smart, funny, intuitive (a good quality for a psychologist) and persistently coaxed me to figure out how I was going to best care for my two splendilicious babies and myself in the face of some very real personal challenges.  He encouraged me to figure out how to re-take control of my life.  How do you thank someone for that?  Live your life well and pay it forward, I guess.

And I followed my boss for 22 years.  I was inspired by his confidence in me, relentless teasing, incredible work ethic, integrity and generous heart.  He wanted results and accountability and expected more of himself than anyone else, which somehow drove me to try and keep pace.  Lucky for me, he is now a dear friend who has also retired from the firm.

There is a nexus between the leadership qualities I learned from those whom I have followed and the music that plays in my mind all the time.  There is a rhythm to the dynamics between and among people, a way that we try to maximize the strengths and talents of our people so that together, the orchestration is full and rich.

If you supervise people and as such are responsible for leading others, do you ever think about those who you once followed?  Why did you follow them?  What were the qualities that you most admired in the people who shaped your professional success and enhanced your development?  What were the deal breakers?  If you strove to emulate any one of them, what elements would be of greatest importance to you?  Imagine holding the conductor’s baton gently and assuredly in your hand as the orchestra warms up.  Your job is to make the music of your work days reflective of the talents of those waiting for your guidance, watching for your timing and interpretation of the notes.  I was once compared to Mr. Holland, the character from “Mr. Holland’s Opus” – a higher compliment could never have been bestowed upon me in the world of work.  At least not for me.  The sections of the orchestra parallel the unique talents of those with whom you work.  Lead them with the qualities and dedication evidenced in those you once followed.  The magic of that music will always remain in your head – and theirs.

anxiety, life lessons, mindfulness

The Art Of Confrontation

mimijk

Let me say upfront – I never developed this skill.  Not only don’t I have any talent for confrontation, I have so studiously avoided it that I think I show some real ability in this area.  It’s somewhat ironic that frequent moments in my career required that I confront people, my passionate belief in my professional purpose fueled my provocative challenges at times and it’s hard to get through the adolescences of three boys without having to go toe-to-toe every once in awhile.  But, I have never sought out such exchanges preferring more peaceful resolutions (which admittedly took longer and arguably required more patience).  This wasn’t because I’m such a great person – honestly, it’s because I really can’t stand vitriol and words spoken with such hostility that do-overs are impossible.

But boy oh boy, this weekend I wanted to rush Limbaugh.  Literally.  I wanted to rush the guy and wither him with my superior vocabulary and make him cower in fear of the scorching venom that would drip from my fangs.  Oh, and I wasn’t planning on providing any anti-toxin either.  I am not going to write about my political persuasions – I’ll leave that to people to the left and right of me who write more capably.  I do think the guy should be fired, and in the interest of equity – feel similarly about any shock jock who delights in the extreme denigration of others.  With all the devastation and heartache that is evidenced in the news, my palpable reaction to his idiotic cruelty was off the charts.

The kids were over for brunch yesterday and my son provided the voice of reason.  He’s a very smart guy, and perhaps a little more absolute in his perspective than I. Typically he is more inclined to opine and do so with confidence and bravado.  Although one of us leans more to the left and the other more to the right, we respect each other enough to know where our buttons are and we leave them alone. I was the one who raised the topic, unable to shake my disgust with the Limbaugh narrative.  We agreed that regardless of one’s political beliefs, there’s too much hyperbole, blustering b.s. and not enough substantive discourse for informed decisions to be reached. And for reasons which defy me, if there is nothing sensational to discuss, we will create it.

And I admit – when I’m standing in line at the supermarket I look at the cover of the National Enquirer, though I can’t bear to pick it up (although I was once tempted as a kid, when the cover story was about Martians landing on earth and they had these grainy black and white pictures of extra-terrestrials).  As I’ve written before, I guess I avoid situations and discussions that reflect the worst of our human nature.  It assaults my senses.  But then again, I’m clearly part of a minority. Full disclosure – I’ve never watched reality TV either  – maybe it is more than the real deal…maybe it is sensational.

life lessons, management, mindfulness, motivation, work life

Groundhog Day – Again

mimijk

Some may think I get cranky because I’m out of estrogen – oh no my friends, no.  I got cranky long before my hormones became an acceptable excuse.  In fact, it’s entirely possible that my crankiness was the catalyst for my body’s ensuing wackiness.  It got tired of me railing at some of the more inexplicable, passive choices we make on a daily basis in the name of ‘doing our best’.

“Mediocrity is climbing mole hills without sweating” – Icelandic proverb

How much do we do just to get by?  How often do we attach the Velcro to the back of our hand, affix it to our forehead and sigh “I just can’t do one more thing?” (insert a consumptive cough here if you feel it will add to the drama).  How frequently do we invoke the words of some enthusiastic coach (“You can do it!  There’s no ‘I’ in ‘TEAM’!”) and act like an over-burdened pack mule?  And how quickly do we accept the status quo just because it’s easier.

Avidly pursuing LinkedIn chats, lobbing an occasional question on Twitter, reading the articles in journals written by and for business professionals – I see the same thing.  We are challenging ourselves to climb mole hills.  Do we keep re-hashing the same topics because we can’t take one more thing and feel that at the least we’re sharing ‘execu-speak’?  To take a line from Joan Rivers – “can we talk?”

Let’s go with some assumptions already – it’s time.  Everyone, on three – get out of your comfort zone and let’s start feeling a little itchy together.

Assumption 1 – If you don’t know how to effectively listen, engage and collaborate with other people, hear disparate views and opinions and encourage that kind of communication, then go back to square 1, don’t collect $200 and consider yourself very lucky that you’ve gotten this far without developing a critical foundation upon which to grow your career and your relationships.

Assumption 2 – If you are truly of the view that as the leader of your department, company, silo, etc your perspective is the only perspective with any merit – see number 1.  Bill Welch was a bastard and prided himself on being a bully, but when someone had the mettle to challenge him, he gave them a shot.

Assumption 3 – If you’re doing the same thing you did last year, let me remind you that Groundhog Day was a movie, not a lifestyle.  If your people are doing what they did last year, then they are doing less than they did last year – and that’s on you.

Assumption 4 – Not everything is confidential, even though it may be very exciting (and sometimes necessary) to create an ‘inner circle’.  The values of your department need to be shared.  The future career strategies for your people need to be discussed and developed with your people, not in a soliloquy you engage in on your way to work.   If you dig the whole bureaucratic, layer-upon-layer thing – fine.  I’m just saying that the plans need to be disseminated to everyone who has a modicum of responsibility for their disposition.

Assumption 5 – Just because people nod their heads and agree with you, doesn’t mean they agree with you, trust you or even have confidence in the direction you’re heading.  Their B.S. meter may just be registering at the high end, and they don’t trust you enough to respond differently.

Golda Meir said, “Don’t be so humble….you’re not that great”.  The only thing worse than inflated, insincere humility is sincere hubris.  At this point we have a long way to go before we can afford either affectation.  I want us to push past these tired conversations which find us opining in tired clichés and commentary that is becoming trite in its content.  Aren’t you a little itchy for more?  Wouldn’t you like to challenge the endless loop that plays and replays providing us with little more than one more stimulus to ignore as we do elevator music?  When are we going to look in the mirror, greet the image with a rousing ‘how the hell are you?’ and get excited about what we really can become?