Category: life lessons

leadership, life lessons, management, mindfulness, motivation, training, work life

Shoop Shoop Shoop – Are You With Me?

mimijk

Driving home from yesterday’s 4th training session, the “Shoop Shoop Song” from “Waiting To Exhale” was playing in my head.  In many ways it’s also the perfect Friday song, and given some of the posts I’ve read this week, it’s appropriate for the end of what appeared to be a tough week.  Seems like a lot of us spent much of the week just waiting to let it go…

“And sometimes you’ll laugh, and sometimes you’ll cry

Life never tells us the whens and whys

But when you’ve got friends to wish you well

You’ll find your point when you exhale…”

You can add the ‘shoop shoops’ yourself – there are a lot of them.

Yesterday, I facilitated the last training session with the remarkable group of people of whom I’ve written before.  Next week, a colleague will join me for the last part of the program.  So in some ways, I had to say good-bye to a dynamic which has fueled, inspired and challenged me once a week for the month.  We’ll have a great time next week, and the team united as we know will morph naturally by the presence of a new person.  The thought of the upcoming farewells has my stomach more than just a little knotted.

Our topic yesterday was Performance Management – with emphasis placed on the fluidity of the process – the need for it to be a constant loop of communication, not the culmination of twelve silent months with no conversation about a person’s performance.  We addressed some of the real issues managers grapple with – the star employees who don’t receive enough feedback because ‘they know’ they’re terrific and other people require more attention; the poor performers who supervisors avoid because ultimately the anticipated hostility/tears/aggressive/defensive reaction (pick your adjective) is just too painful to endure.  The challenge of actively listening when studies show that adults really attend for about five minutes within a twenty-minute conversation.  How commentary is far more critical than a ‘score’ and how to move a firm and its people away from the numbers and in to substantive feedback.  Including the employee in establishing goals, and how to build those goals effectively.  We went straight through, with a quick break to bring in some lunch, and just kept going until we could go no longer.  They crushed it – figuratively and in a good way.  The examples provided, support given to those with a tough situation to handle, enthusiasm and trust in each other – all were so impressive.  They inspired me more than I can adequately describe.  Do you sense a ‘but’ in all of this?  Good – I’m so glad you picked that up.

When our sessions end, they go back to work.  At best their supervisors ask them if they’re enjoying the program, if they’re getting anything out of  it,etc..  That’s it – the curiousity and interest in the manager and his/her development stops there.   They are coming away from these meetings with new ideas, a renewed sense of purpose, some thoughts about bettering themselves and their department.  There wasn’t one person who affirmed that his/her boss would be interested in pursuing anything other than things as they are.  The most frustrating aspect of this reality, is that I just know what will happen to their enthusiasm, focus and intention.  Worse still, they do too.  I’m committed to being available to them should they need me,  but let’s be real –  as time passes everyone gets caught up in the rhythm of their days, and without someone encouraging movement and effort from their supervisors, there is an inevitable return to the norm.

If you are a director or C-level officer, are you really giving your direct reports the room, support and mentorship they need?  Are you working with them to formulate opportunities to practice that which they’ve learned once training programs end?  What’s your stake in their growth and how do you show that commitment?  I’m just wondering, because from where I stand this seems to be the most important part of your responsibilities and the easiest one for you to minimize or disregard.  I’m just sayin’…I know there are some exceptional senior executives who read this blog – it would be great to know what you do with and for those managers you send for professional development training once they’ve completed the program or class?

I will miss these Thursdays, yet that doesn’t diminish the value they have held for me.  I have met outstanding people, forged a bond that is predicated upon a shared desire to do the right thing for those they supervise and for their firms.  I wish them all the success, growth and all the happiness their hearts can hold.

So it’s Friday morning, and the sun is slowly rising.  The week ends with some exhausted by the emotional toll that the last few days have exacted; others are thrilled that the week has gone so well.  For everyone,  I hope the time arrives sometime today when you get to exhale.  Happy weekend all.

leadership, life lessons, management, motivation, training, work life

Schadenfreude? In This Economy?

mimijk

Funny how I think I’m going to write about one thing, and end up going in another direction entirely.  Upon further reflection, if you knew how I drive this is probably not so surprising at all.  I adamantly believe that whatever direction I’m heading is north, think I’m going over underpasses and have been known to turn a map upside down when navigating a return trip from wherever.  I get lost a lot, though I’m perfectly comfortable asking for directions.  But, I digress….

A very dear friend of mine quit her job on Friday.  She enjoys a successful career, working at the senior levels of management.  On Friday she reached a limit that no one should have to push, so she packed up her office, provided her resignation and walked out the door.  I’m not going to spend too much time extolling my friend’s impressive qualifications and talents – her success is evident in the tenure, promotions and stellar reputation she has earned.  Besides, this isn’t a paean to her (though she deserves one), this is a cautionary tale.

Why’d she resign?  Because her boss – a V.P. who should have known better – was a bully.  This woman focused her energies on making other people feel really lousy.  For months she badgered, verbally lashed and demeaned her direct report – a senior manager.  Do I believe the karma truck is going to roll up this person’s driveway?  Oh yeah..I do.  It’s already in ‘drive’, for she can’t fill the vacancies she has, and now has one more opening in a critical space.  My hunch is that ultimately she will be ‘outed’ and invited to leave.  One has to have pretty strong ego needs to diminish the people you most need to build up – the ones who have your back and are carrying a  heavy workload on your behalf.  Greater is the pity that she will undoubtedly be packaged out with an impressive amount of money.

I don’t need to remind any of you about the potential legal implications of such behavior.  That’s a discussion for another day.  Apparently the V.P. enjoys this reputation she has earned and savours the unhappiness and unease that she engenders in others.  The sad irony is that she was vetted after joining the organization and people began wondering why such a hire was made.  What makes this even worse in my mind is that in the male-dominated environment where they both worked, this woman found her key to the executive washroom by belittling the efforts of another woman.  The examples of the daily exchanges, meetings and unrelenting personal criticisms could fill a very long tome describing various types of professional hell.

At the end of the day, my friend is fortunate.  She isn’t shackled by golden handcuffs and isn’t beholden to anyone.  She is taking some well-deserved time to restore, and ultimately wherever she goes, she’ll hit it out of the park.  This organization, however?  It’s too large to fold because of one really bad apple in its highest ranks (or two or three), and it would be naive to think so.  But the cost of irresponsible vetting, questionable accountability at the top and a weak professional value system will be high.  Whether it is realized in turnover, legal claims or diminished productivity – the impact of self-centered oversight is profound, expensive and long-lasting.  It’s too bad there isn’t a Hippocratic oath for supervisors at every level – “first, do no harm”.  It’s too bad that in some organizations, a person can thrive while fomenting unhappiness among those for whom she’s responsible, and climb the ladder in her Laboutins by stepping on toes and heads instead of the proper rungs.

 

friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness

Sunday Morning

mimijk

It’s the perfect Sunday morning – good coffee, gentle rain, the New York Times, my husband and me.  All in my family are well.  My friends and I may not always be skipping through life, but we’re old enough to know that there is far more to be grateful for, than envious of.  We’re made stronger by paying it forward and most of us are trying to figure out how to do that more and more.  And for all that – I would re-affirm that it is just the perfect Sunday morning.  I just wanted to wish you the same – and a smile.

friendship, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, motivation

Thoughts For A Friday Afternoon

mimijk

As many of you know, I started this adventure in mid-January.  I have now had over 4,000 people visit my blog – which I find both wonderful and startling.  I realize this is an inconsequential milestone for those of you who have enjoyed much deserved success and readership (I’m probably one of your biggest fans).  For me, it is astonishing, very cool and inherently motivating.  My new friends who I may never meet in person – but ‘talk’ with  all the time through comments and offline written conversations – you set the bar incredibly high and encourage me to reach and try to touch the rarefied space in which you share your thoughts;  my old friends – you  continue to amaze me with your love and loyalty and willingness to read these musings;  my sons and daughters-in-law – I’m so glad I haven’t embarrassed you yet and;  those who just happened onto this page – you have filled my head with the happiest of thoughts this Friday afternoon, and my heart with gratitude which is incalculable.  I hope your day is replete with smiles – and provides you with as much joy as you have given me.

inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness

Who Will Remember?

mimijk

I wasn’t going to write about this today.  A fellow blogger with far greater eloquence than I already posted her compelling thoughts about Holocaust Remembrance Day.  My mother was a Holocaust survivor; my sister and I are part of the first generation of her family who were born in the States.  We carry some of the  neuroses and survivor guilt that is common to those who share such strong genetic connections with those who suffered through a large part of their life instead of living it.

In a metal sewing box of my mom’s are moments frozen in time that I can’t imagine.  Unused food tickets for rations of meat, cheese and bread; certified declarations concerning the status (or lack thereof) of my grandparents at various points during the war and after; letters written in German between two sisters who represented a minority of an entire family who survived only in their memories – one settled in Basel, my grandmother in New York; a notarized request from a relative in NY to allow my grandfather to come to the States with a promise that this relative would employ, pay and shelter him (presumably so that the government would know it wouldn’t have to).  Some pictures of my mom’s family in Vienna when it was still intact.  The only other pictures are of my sister as a baby and toddler – proof certain that life continues with unfathomable beauty and hope.

I was told that after Kristalnacht, my grandfather’s response was to pray more.  Ultimately, he and his son ended up in a labor camp, my mother and grandmother escaped to the city of Troyes in France, where they remained until their quota numbers came up.  They traveled here on a cattle boat, infamous for its horrid conditions and the unforgivable number of people who died en route.  My mother arrived with diphtheria, she had it when she left France.  Were it not for the nuns who were willing to lie about her test results (she was being cared for in a Catholic hospital), she would not have been able to get on the boat at all, her quota number rendered worthless.  They came with little other than what they were wearing – sterling silver Shabbat candles that my grandmother was able to keep hidden (though I have no idea how), a doll named Lotte…

When my grandfather and uncle followed, the family ended up in a one bedroom apartment, my grandfather got a job a Barton’s Candy Manufacturing.  In the metal box is his pension document providing him with a $68.00 retirement benefit.  How could it feel to have lived an aristocratic life in a country you could no longer claim as your own, while thanking God every Friday night for the gift of this new life in a one bedroom apartment, where my grandmother did piecework for $.75?

Mom used to have nightmares.  She would yell out frantically in her sleep – perhaps we were more aware of them when dad was traveling on business, for there was no one there to reassure her that she was safe in Jackson Heights, Queens.  There is no doubt she lived through my sister and I (my sister more than me, for a myriad of reasons), a burden that was pretty heavy for children to shoulder.  Yet in retrospect, what kind of life did this woman have as a girl, when she experienced her first ‘introduction to womanhood’ in a bomb shelter, screaming for her mother because she was sure she had been hit?  How does one turn sixteen once in the States and ask for a party only to be severely chastised at such selfishness given the reality that six million had died?  How does one begin to live?  I think through my dad’s gift of play, and the experience of two American children who would never know that growing up could be truly, unimaginably horrible.  Mom, this happened to you?  This happened to Poppy?

At the core of Eliot Perlman’s new book “The Street Sweeper”, is the repeated plea that our stories – regardless of what they are – be remembered, that we be remembered.  Our immortality rests perhaps in the assurance that someone will carry our stories – the proof that we were here.  That holds true for all of us – yet on this day of remembrance I needed to bear witness.  I remember you everyday, your stories are woven into the tapestry of  my life and my heart cannot hold all of my love.

friendship, humor, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness

“The Rhythm Of Life”

mimijk

In the musical “Sweet Charity”, there’s a song with a chorus that often repeats in my head (and occasionally out of my mouth) – “The rhythm of life has a powerful beat/Puts a tingle in your fingers and a tingle in your feet/Rhythm in the bedroom, rhythm in the street/Yes, the rhythm of life has a powerful beat”

I’m not tingling this morning, let along feeling the beat.  I think I’m working off of the kind of hum a light bulb makes before it burns out.  Ok, that’s a bit severe – I’m not tired of writing (how can I be when this site is barely four months old), or tired of consulting, or tired of being retired.  My rhythm is just off.  my sense of timing has been disturbed.  Ergo, no tingle.Image

We got back from four days in Puerto Rico last night.  On the flight home, I felt like we had been gone for weeks and began filling my head with my ‘to-dos’ and the ache behind my eyes began.  By the time the taxi pulled into our driveway my list had given birth to more lists and I could only isolate the top priorities – check in with the kids, grocery store run, trip to PetsMart for more dog food, piles of critical mail that must need immediate attention…my heart begins to accelerate and I haven’t even put the damn key in the door.

I was wrong on all counts – w-r-o-n-g.  The truth of the matter is that the half-and-half didn’t spoil, we have enough coffee, the fruit isn’t rotten (though we could use some bananas), no need to head to PetsMart for another week or more, more junk mail than real mail and lots of emails but none that make me groan with guilt for delaying my response.  So – four days is just four days.  This is just too much to wrap my head around.  How can it be that absolutely nothing critical happened?  All just went along as it should.  This is clearly a reality for someone smarter than me.

Take me out of my daily environment and I lose all sense of perspective – even when there’s no time difference between where I’ve been and where I’m going.  I become part of wherever I am, almost as if there was nothing that preceded it.  If ever this truth was underscored, it was made clear to me after a late evening boat trip (we’re talking small motor boat holding no more than eight people) out onto a bay in which bio-luminessence is evident in the blackness of night.  To get to the bay, this lone boat winded its way through a narrow lagoon with mangroves for walls and a roof over our head.  Through the lagoon there was no sky, no sense of being anywhere other perhaps the set of a Wes Craven movie.  Occasionally the Captain would shine a light on a large iguana balanced on a branch, indifferent to the intrusion; ribbons of translucent snakeskin left in aged, gnarled roots, as its owner slithered away at some point comfortable in a newer version of himself/herself; a lone bird sleeping peacefully with feathers that were startlingly white and orange and a beak so black one couldn’t discern its beginning or end (perhaps it was the Pinocchio of the lagoon and had a beak so long it was almost endless).  Once out on the bay, the water looked as if it was receiving stars as they fell from the sky.  The scientific explanation is that the plankton in this area light up when disturbed, the fish glow as they skip above the water.  This nexus of nature’s variables – the type of water, weather, fish, plankton, etc occurs in only four places in the world.  The romantic version is even better.  A wooden pole in the water left a shiny wake similar in its smoky silver color to that of a witch’s brew.  The only distinction between the sky and the water was the sound of the waves lapping against the boat.  And stars in the sky don’t jump with such enthusiasm.  My hand in the water took on this ethereal glow – so beautiful and shiny I never wanted to remove it for I was sure it held magic.  The seven others people sharing this experience were equally awed.  At first we all ‘oohed and ahhed’, occasionally we each would marvel aloud..and then quiet seemed more appropriate.  It was too magnificent to absorb with anything other than silence.

Captain Suarez and Mingo his assistant were characters out of a novel – maybe Hemingway, maybe not for they were gentle and reverent.  Their days-old beards covered the craggy lines that define a life on the water, aging hands that were ropier than those which moored the old boat at the end of the day’s work, broken English that shared their knowledge of astral navigation in a language we all could understand.  I asked Mingo why the traveled with little if any light even in the lagoon and he said that one who sailed was supposed to know where they were going by the stars – the light did more harm than good.Image

You can’t be a part of time like this and not feel with certainty that there is something way bigger than we are.  We disembarked with gracious silence.  What had we just seen?  How do we capture this in our memory?  is there any way to do such moments justice?  What day is it today?

I can’t say much else happened while we were gone.  Our most intrepid friend zip-lined gloriously in the rain forest, my husband golfed (that’s not new), he won more than he lost at the blackjack table.  We flew home – gone for not much longer than a long weekend and I’ve misplaced my rhythm.

I read your blogs last night and this morning perpetually shaking my head with wonder at the extraordinary talent of the people I follow (and some that I don’t), wondering how I will ever get back into the swing.  I know I will, for life calls regardless of where one may be, and we adjust accordingly.  But right now, I am slow to re-enter the music of my day-to-day life while the beat of the last four days still echoes faintly in my head.  That’s the beauty and the bane of going away and coming home…I answer to a powerful beat.

friendship, inspiration, life lessons

The Cake, Icing And The Whole Shmear

mimijk

Last night I had dinner with a friend I hadn’t seen in a year.  How can peoples’ schedules conflict for that long and still upon seeing each other, retain a connection that is completely unscathed by absence?  I’m not entirely sure, but I confidently state that I love this friend as much today as I did the last time I saw her, worry for her happiness and celebrate her joys with the same intensity I have always felt.

This has been one of the gifts of this first year of my new adventure of which I’ve written before.  Yet the enormity of its implications and lessons somehow demand more attention and thought.  I have been a friend to many in my life, but have considered few friends.  The lessons learned in the unfortunate elementary school years  provided the introductions of being ‘in’ or ‘out’, and as one who was often ‘out’, it was devastating to me.  The peaks and valleys of adolescent insecurity screw with one’s identity enough to limit one’s friends to a select few who help you feel relatively okay when everything else around you screams to the contrary.  Throw in a couple of marriages which frequently relocated me, but more critically dislocated my sense of self completely.  It’s easy to trace my overall interest in others coupled with an ironic reluctance to divulge very much about myself.  If I cared about others, I would at least get by.  If I could make them laugh and sincerely attend to their struggles, much of my internal discomfort could be ignored and largely ameliorated.  Psychology and education were natural pursuits (after realizing that my only acceptance speech at the Tony awards would be given in the shower).

These boys o’ mine – lifelines to me at one point as much as I was to them – did more than anyone else to re-establish my sense of self-worth and belief that if such wonderful human beings could be brought into this world and be an integral part of mine, then there was a strong likelihood that there was more goodness in the world to be found – and felt in my little corner.  At some point, I remember just handing this loneliness over – one of the few lessons from Alanon which stayed with ne.  When unsure about what I’m doing or how I’m doing it – I hand it over.  Each time I have come out the better for ceding control.  But I digress…

So I write to you today, with a helluva journey behind me and much still ahead.  What I have grown to cherish fiercely is this small circle of friends that I have the honor of knowing today.  Such an amazing group – my ‘re-found’ best friend from elementary and jr. high school, the Capt,  my ‘second, singing sister’ to whom I remained attached at the hip through high school and college.  My phenomenal friends who were once professional colleagues – people with such talent, energy and commitment – and heart to spare.  My most recently discovered friend serendipitouslycame into my life while waiting to get a manicure of all things.  This is an intimate group – most of whom have never met each other – yet each is so essential to my life.  My sister – my oldest and deepest connection and my sister-in-law – my love for them is too big to define.

As I was driving home last night – so full of appreciation for this wonderful woman who just happens to also be my dear friend – I thought that the friendships we women have are proof enough in the wonder of tomorrow.  Anything can happen to enhance your life in the spaces in between – those moments when we’re not paying attention to that which we seek.  These gifts find you.  Our only responsibility is to recognize that they are there – and pay attention to what is being given to us.

Before we head off on vacation, I had to post this message.  A message of appreciation without question, and a message of wonder – for this world can hold more love than our arms can ever encircle.  The greatest disservice we can do ourselves and others is not to embrace it with arms wide open.

humor, life lessons, privacy

Totally Hacked Off

mimijk

Why you may wonder, would I title this post in such a passionate way?  Well dear reader, it’s an accurate description of more than my state of mind.  I’ve been hacked – my bank accounts, credit card – someone else has figured out all my automated protections and managed to get their undeserving hands on some of my money.  Despite three replacement credit cards, this mischievous little imp (that is so not what I’m thinking) has been showing his/her determination by continuing to try to withdraw some very impressive sums (once even before the card was activated).  The amounts themselves don’t reflect my history at all (which helps prove to the bank that this isn’t me – it’s the pseudo-psycho me who I’ve never met).  So all is now frozen, fraud alerts are placed on everything that even sounds like my name and I’m thinkin’ this is not what Mahalia Jackson meant when she sang “He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands”.

I really don’t like the idea that anyone can ‘hack’ into one’s personal or financial information.  I feel that being hacked needs to remain within the realm of the individual.  I should be able to choose whether or not I want to be hacked off.  So, not only has this person stolen my information, they have taken away my choice about when I want to feel hacked off.

You know, there’s enough going on in my little insulated world at the moment – for starters, there are a couple of disconcerting messages that my body keeps sending which medical science is still trying to interpret (sometimes I can be a little opaque), my continuous quest for world peace, an end to famine and the slowing of global warming.  Trying to spread a little good  karma takes some effort, you know?  Basically this is very distracting and really inconvenient whoever-you-are (I’m assuming you’ve hacked into my blog too – you must be the spammer that emails constantly with the uplifting message “Dear Webmaster, We note that searches for your site on Google are very low…..”).  There’s also a few days away starting Wednesday which I can’t even prepare for because my accounts are frozen (ok, I don’t really need anything, but that’s not the point).

Will I be bothered by this in five years?  I doubt it, and that’s usually my threshold for determining what will and will not totally piss me off.  But I am annoyed.  And I don’t like the feeling that someone can – without any sense of conscience – access my data without asking for my okay.  I mean, I’m a sucker for a good story – if this person told me the money was needed to help a starving family, I would have been an easy mark.  Did you really have to go and hack me off every which way from Sunday?  Well just remember buddy – if you’re not nice, karma can be a bitch – and I’m comforted by the fact that the truck is gonna roll up your driveway one of these days – and will you be hacked off.

discretion, humor, inspiration, life lessons, management, mindfulness, training

Damn You’re Good – Aren’t You?

mimijk

Well, yesterday was our second of five training sessions and I arrived home as energized and jazzed as I was last week.  I am totally smitten with the program attendees (in a purely professional way, of course).  I love their enthusiasm, candor, willingness to challenge me and question each other.  I am fueled by our shared laughter, engagement and commitment.  We’ve got some great mojo working and I’m with them every step of the way.  My hunch is that I’ll be with them even when our time together officially ends, for we are becoming invested in the relationships we’re building.

As I was driving home, some of our discussions replayed in my head (along with a series of Motown songs which had absolutely nothing to do with what I was thinking about).  I often say that we don’t realize how we are perceived by others – sometimes because we don’t want to know or don’t think it’s important to know.  Other times we don’t have an audience that is prepared to tell us.  So I’ll ask you – how good are you?  And at what?

Take the following test (and don’t feel compelled to share the answers – this is just between us)…

–  When was the last time you wrote a genuine, challenging goal – for yourself or in concert with one of your employees?  Do you really know how to write one?  I’m not talking about the over-used, over-touted SMART goal paradigm.  I’m talking about the one that comes from your gut and your imagination – reflective of the knowledge of where you’re heading, where your department should be going and what has to be done once you get there. (Hint – ‘scorch and burn’ is not a goal, though you get one point for using verbs that have some activity associated with them)

–  What are you doing to prepare your right-hand person for a promotion, how much have you increased his/her visibility to the powers-that-be?  What has that person done for their critical second?  Do you have a succession plan in your head and what does it look like?  If you’re going to re-organize, does your plan include a concrete intent to re-tool the resources you already have?

–  What have you learned from history that bears repeating?  What do you wish you had never attempted because it failed so miserably (you get serious points for taking the risk)?

–  Is your department terrific because it churns out work?  Is that your definition of ‘terrific’?  Does it also energize and re-energize itself, share accountability, reflect pride of ownership with strong cross-training opportunities?  What have you done to form a team as opposed to a group of people who just happen to work in the same area and for the most part, get along?

–  When was the last time you wrote a truly comprehensive, honest performance review which contained no surprises for the recipient – and shared it with the employee?  When was the last time you were able to get a straight, candid response from your people about how you’re doing?  Is that information important to you really?

You can ask yourself these questions with little modification within the context of your personal life as well.  What goals are you setting for yourself?  How do you want to ride this carousel – remember, you get only one ticket (unless you’re a cat, in which case rumor has it, you get nine).  What steps are you taking to focus on the little wonders that happen around us everyday?  I know, I know – this sounds trite and worthy of a good eye-rolling – but have you looked around lately?  Our magnolia blooms are resting their heads against the breeze; just the other day a hawk stood poised and still on the roof of our gazebo looking as if it was waiting to have its portrait painted.  My son wrapped me up in one of those mega-hugs that provide a transfusion of love that left me in tears (yes, I’m an easy cry – I’ve told you that already).  Two barn owls have returned for the season and fill the evening air with their hooting and I hoot right back (a ridiculous exercise, but I’m trying to relate on their terms).

I was looking at pictures of my mom and dad when they were young – wow, they were a gorgeous pair.  I miss them daily;  I ache to hear my dad call me ‘sweetheart’ or mom saying ‘hi schatzi’.  It’s more acute around the holidays, as I make the same meals that my mother did, served with some of the same tableware we had when I was a kid.  Am I making sure that I notice life??  Are you?  What am I doing to ensure that I live in gratitude and greater humility?  Did I laugh enough today?  What’s my plan to sustain my energy for this ride and could I do more to make sure I honor this time I’ve been given?  How often do I say “I love you” or “You made my day” – how often did I feel like I couldn’t care one way or the other?  What are your responses when you ask these questions of yourself?

So – how’d you do?  If you had the courage to pose the questions, you’re already ahead of the game.  If you have the conviction to re-visit the answers that you may like to change, you’re really good.  And the mere fact that you read this all the way through and maybe gave it a little thought – well, that makes you terrific in my eyes.  Happy Friday all and Happy Holidays to those who have traditions and beliefs that are honored this weekend.

humor, inspiration, life lessons, work life

Ode To The Indifferent

mimijk

I spend a lot of time writing about work, life, finding your rhythm and remaining engaged in the dance.  Well, I think I owe the under-achievers among us a sincere, heart-felt apology.  I mean, what if you don’t want to be regarded as an outstanding contributor?  What if you don’t want Tony Robbins to change your life (well, he doesn’t do much for me either, so let’s move on)?  What if you just want to get by, listen to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ over and over again, hide under the desk until everyone’s left the office and then sneak out?  What if you see mediocrity as the goal, and barely-getting-by as the preferred course of action?  How have I helped you???  I fear, not at all.

Well, that changes today.  Yes, this is a bit self-serving for I always hope to expand my readership.  Of greater importance though is the transference of information I have gleaned over the years which may help you in your quest to achieve nothing while still receiving a paycheck.  I believe in you – you can do this.  All it takes is a minimal amount of effort.  Try the following:

–  As often as possible, tell as many people as possible how busy you are.  There are surprisingly very few folks in the workplace who realize that if you are able to talk about how busy you are, you’re probably not – so this is a pretty safe bet.

–  Suck up to your boss.  It isn’t necessary that you know exactly why you think s/he is terrific; no need to comment about skills of which you know nothing.  Just make sure you give  him/her sufficient ‘atta boys’ and ‘I’m with you’ and ‘I swear, I don’t know how you do it’ to make them feel your investment (even if you and I both know that your investment is de minimus).

–  Learn how to toggle from Facebook or YouTube to your work screens with incredible alacrity.  If you really want to achieve nothing, this is a critical skill that is worth spending some time developing.

–  Always offer to help others in your department – and then graciously explain that you would if you could, but you’re under the gun and won’t be able to assist right now.  Assure your colleagues that you’ll be there for them next time.  If you do this often enough, ‘next time’ will take care of itself.

–  Don’t engage in any gossip about your company and/or your boss.  The idea is to draw as little attention to yourself as possible – this one is a no-brainer.

–  Dress appropriately – by that I mean lots of beige, grey, ‘greige’ – anything that can help you get lost in the background of the office.

–  In team meetings, you should occasionally yell out “I was just going to suggest that!” when someone comes up with an idea that is met with enthusiasm.  Don’t do this too often, for you could appear more interested in what is going on than you really are, and we all know where that can lead.

–  Show up.  I actually had an employee tell me that she deserved her paycheck just because she showed up every day.  If she happened to do any work, that was icing.  True, she didn’t last very long but that’s another story.  Try not to get the flu on Thursday nights or Sundays – it’s too obvious.

Ok my friends, this was just a beginning.  I’m hoping others can add to this list.  If you find inertia difficult – just keep trying.  You know what they say – ‘If at first you don’t succeed, you’re about average’.  Keep on not keeping on!!!