leadership, life lessons, management, work life

Written From The Bully Pulpit

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The new documentary dealing with bullying of school age children is getting a lot of well-deserved press.  The excerpts I have seen and heard evoke my tears, rage and yes, personal memories.  Nothing can justify what these children endure on a daily basis.  There is no rationale, explanation, excuse or defiant bluster that can in any way mitigate the pain – both physical and psychic – to which these kids are subjected.  In these situations there is no such thing as ‘toughening up’ in order to take it.  The only acceptable response to such behavior is that it stop.

The reality is, bullying doesn’t stop with adulthood.  There are bullies in the workplace – different from those who harass others within the context of federal and state EEO and Sexual Harassment Prevention statutes.  There’s time enough to write about the latter; my passion this morning is directed to the leaders and managers who are aware of the bullying that occurs on their watch.  While I agree that education and zero tolerance must begin with and for our youngest children, the fact that such behavior is deeply affecting adults in the workplace suggests that perhaps we need a bifurcated approach.  In more basic terms – we should not condone any hostile or aggressive behavior in our offices – hard stop.

“In a prevalence study of U.S. workers, 41.4% of respondents reported experiencing psychological aggression at work in the past year representing 47 million U.S. workers (Schat, Frone & Kelloway, 2006).  The research found that 13% or nearly 13 million workers experienced psychological aggression on a weekly basis”.  This is inconceivable to me – and I hope you are as enraged as I am.

When I started working at the firm, we had an unwritten (but enforced) ‘no asshole’ rule.  I found this to be part of the firm’s value system that I respected the most.  The vetting process was almost absurdly extensive – potential associates and partners traveled to as many offices as possible, meeting as many people as possible to learn about the firm and vice versa.  Believe it or not there were some pretty impressive business producers who were not pursued after this exercise – they couldn’t pass the ‘no asshole’ rule.  Was the firm replete with only genuine, engaged, gracious, respectful people?  Of course not – sometimes somebody made it through.  Parenthetically, none of these people were put into positions of power; their sphere of influence was limited as much as possible and of greatest importance – they were told why their contribution would continue to be valued in money, but never in leadership roles.

That was then, this is now and I’m not there anymore.  Further comments about whether or not such a philosophy is still in practice is specious and of no value to this dialogue.  But I will always applaud the organization for uncompromisingly articulating its abhorrence of bullying and those responsible for its horrible consequences.

Aggressive behavior in the workplace can range from subtle to overt.  Being the frequent recipient of invalid hostile criticism, receiving continuous unwarranted and/or fictitious blame, being sworn at, experiencing social and professional isolation and/or exclusion are examples of bullying.  I ask that you apply a ‘reasonable person standard’ to this description, for I am aware that an occasional misguided comment or decision doesn’t meet any threshold that is being discussed here.

As a current or future leader, you must be acutely aware of the ramifications of such toxicity.  If you consider the impact purely from an economic perspective, you will find decreased performance, higher turnover, distorted information flow and high levels of distrust.  Bummer for your profitability.  As a compassionate leader, the consequences are equally dire – disaffected employees, higher incidences of medical leaves, depression, misdirected frustration and criticism, dysfunctional collaboration,etc.  Bummer for morale.

To me, the larger issue is the need for us to address this with unrelenting, unwavering commitment in our schools and in our companies.  It is not enough to say that we are anti-bullying – we need to step up and be as unequivocal in our actions as we are in our words.  I realize I do not sound like a compassionate therapist here – the workplace is not the backdrop for working through the long standing issues that plague most bullies.  The bully is hurting your people, diluting any humanistic value system that your organization holds dear and eroding your profitability and reputation.  Zero tolerance policies are truly that – without caveat, rationalization and multiple do-overs.  Your people are entitled to be led by the best you have to offer – and that includes establishing and invoking a ‘no asshole’ rule.Image

humor, leadership, management, motivation, Uncategorized, work life

Back To Basics – Part 2

I feel a little vindicated.  An article in Forbes recently appeared that dealt with the overabundance of email and its impact on the development of quality professional relationships.  The author offered a solution you may have already read on this site – the idea of having a ‘no email’ day – invoking a day where people have the choice of getting up and talking with each other or at the least getting on the phone.  Please don’t burst my happy little bubble by delicately suggesting that this is hardly a new idea.  I know – but it sure felt good to see it in a more legitimate, well read format.  As my babelicious nephew would say – “True dat, Mimi”.

So I’m intrepidly going out on a limb, despite my fear of heights, and offering some other basic principles which I think could bring your employees greater professional satisfaction, enhance the quality of your leadership and perhaps, just perhaps improve your results.  At the least it may give you something to think about.  And as always, if it can provoke a smile, all the better.

1 – You can never learn anything while you’re talking.

2 –  You can have a happily-ever-after work experience – especially if you look at is day by day.

3 – Presenting yourself as one who knows it all, doesn’t inspire confidence or make you a great boss.  It makes you insufferable and impossible to work for (or live with for that matter).

4 – Try congratulating the person who owns up to making a mistake.  I’m serious – I used to do it all the time.  To me it was reflective of the individual’s willingness to take responsibility for the work under his/her jurisdiction and greatly increased the likelihood that such an error wouldn’t occur again.  What I never did was let them take the fall in public – I took the hit.  When all was said and done, I’d ask the employee what the ‘takeaway’ was and was never disappointed by the thoughtfulness of the response.

5 – If you’re going to take professional risks – and we all should – put your faith in those with whom you work.  Let them know that you’re willing to back them and show your trust in them in deed.

6 – I used to have regular meetings with my team.  Twice a year though we engaged in an exercise called “Building BHAGs (big, hairy, ambitious goals).  The rules were few – the goals had to be a little scary, strategically important for the firm, and require that they be achieved collaboratively.  Timelines were established with the knowledge that they could be somewhat fluid and each person tracked their contributions on a SharePoint site.  Eventually they asked me not to come to the first meetings because they wanted to do it themselves, showing me their final recommendations.  They were amazing.  In other words – you don’t have to put your mark on every piece of paper, idea and/or project.  If you’ve developed your people well, give them every chance to shine.

7 – “I’m sorry” are two of the most under-utilized words in the workplace.

8 – “Any new venture goes through the following stages:  enthusiasm, complication, disillusionment, search for the guilty, punishment of the innocent and decoration of those who did nothing – Anon”.  If you are in a position of responsibility, you can change this outcome with a modicum of effort and close attention to the rhythm of the work that is being done, the tenor of the conversations that are taking place and the quality of the activities that will drive the result.  Oh yeah – that’s your job too.

9 – Always, always hire people who are smarter than you and then give them the substantive work that will make them thrive.  It may seem counter-intuitive, but I promise you will not be hiring yourself out of a job – rather making room for you to take on more signficant projects of your own.

10 – Mike Ditka was right – failure isn’t fatal.  The corollary of course is that success doesn’t last forever either.  Learn to accept the ebb and flow of the realities of work.

Finally, think about your professional legacy.  Do you want to be known for something other than showing up?  I’m convinced most of you do. Identify the values and leadership style for which you will want to be associated even when you have moved on to new adventures.  Try one thing differently every week – big or small – and see if there is more you can do to ensure you will be remembered in a way that will satisfy and please you.  And Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone – may each day hold at least one four leaf clover for you.

leadership, management, work life

The Color Of Money Can Make You Green

There’s an interesting article in the New York Times today by Greg Smith titled “Why I Am Leaving Goldman Sachs”.  After an impressive career with this professional services powerhouse, Mr. Smith found that the values he embraced, touted and evangelized for the firm now rang hollow.  He speaks about the erosion of a culture that embraced the priorities of maintaining client trust, reflecting a “spirit of humility” and teamwork.  Those were the big draws for Mr. Smith when considering his professional options.  I don’t want to sound naive – Goldman, as any other firm of its kind, will always reward rainmakers with additional compensation and bonuses, and though it may downplay the ever-present eat-what-you-kill undercurrent that permeates much of the professional service zeitgeist, it is certainly a widely accepted approach.  All professional service firms do it to some degree.

What has happened at Goldman is also not unique.  I think it is indicative of the cultural shift that occurs when firms move farther and farther away from the tenets that made them great.  Organizations that were seen as formidable now seek to become formidable-on-steroids.  Firms that aspired to greatness – and achieved it – through the principles of trust, team effort, shared focus, may no longer be practicing such fundamentals of good business.  These are still the words that are espoused, but the authentic practice is devalued – and certainly no longer rewarded.  The most foreboding harbinger of all is that some who excel at making money, used to be content with increasing monetary rewards.  Now they are expecting to be provided positions of leadership as part of some perceived additional entitlement.  I have been in the world of professional services for more than twenty five years (true, I started when I was three :-)), and it is undeniable that Mr. Smith’s observations reflect a train that is racing out of the station.  Firms like these will always compete with each other based on their financial results; perhaps in the past they compromised less on the collective ethos upon which such success was founded.

I do believe there is good news for those of us who forlornly watch the Kool-Aid we drank becoming increasingly rancid.  I think firms will return to their basic values over time.  Firm will become indistinguishable from each other for awhile, distinctions only made my profits and global reach.  Each organizations’ Web page will speak to the brilliance of its teams, state-of-the-art-technology, ability to respond to client needs in real time any where in the world.  Ultimately though clients will demand the return to an organizational philosophy that is evidenced in action as well as word.  Clients will drive the pendulum back to the values of trust, quality and collegiality, for the color of money will be making them green (with figurative nausea).  Profits per partner may go down – and they arguably should if it means a return to humility, shared effort and collaborative success.  Perhaps this is the dark night of the soul for firms like Goldman.  Perhaps it is the only way they will again experience the dawn. Continue reading “The Color Of Money Can Make You Green”

humor, leadership, life lessons, management, mindfulness, motivation, work life

Goal Setting – A Creative Approach

After majoring in partying during my first two years of college, I got serious and then decided to double major.  Psychology and Education.  Did I envision being a Chief HR Officer?  Absolutely not.  My path to this profession was remarkably serendipitous (at least in my mind) and as it unfolded seemed to occur with what I perceived as very little input on my part.  Stuff just seemed to happen.  I realize now that this perception was inaccurate and skewed.  It allowed me to react with predictable self-deprecating dismissiveness at my successes, and passionate self-flagellation when absorbing my failures (in case you haven’t noticed, I’ve always had a flair for high drama – I’m particularly good at self-flagellation).  The truth of the matter is that I’ve always had goals.  Yes they were fluid, without question the path to their achievement was often more circuitous than direct and at times these goals were downright misguided.  But as my hopes for the future crystallized, the navigation of my ‘goal map’ became easier to read  – even when I was heading directly off course (have I also mentioned that geography was never my strong suit).

Just as advertisers use story boards when constructing a client pitch, I am a strong believer in using story boards to help determine what our goals are and how they may be achieved.  Think of the success of PinInterest.  Basically, you are ‘pinning’ and ‘repinning’ pictures that resonate with you on a visceral level – be they of places, nature, humor, etc..  Not only does it feel good to look at the compendium of your personal favorites, it’s self-reinforcing.  So…you pin some more – and if you look at your collection closely, you will see certain patterns.  In effect, it becomes a story board about you.  I used to encourage people to build story boards at work when training on the topic of goal setting (Creativity in a law firm?  A bit oxymoronic I suppose).

Try it – cut out pictures that inspire you, print off quotes or thoughts that excite you and tape them onto a piece of oak tag (if that sounds too dated, just stick ’em up on a bulletin board).  See what messages you glean from what may seem like a random display.  Don’t be discomfited by the pieces that don’t seem to fit – if it was all perfect, it wouldn’t be self-reflective.  What you will find though is that there is a pattern in that collage of yours.  And it can help define what it is you want  – in your professional and/or personal life (depending on what your story board is focused on of course).  One quote that appears on my current board, first appeared on the board I created when I left the firm.  Kofi Annan once said, “To live is to choose.  But to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to go there.”  It fuels my pictorial narrative.

Once you get a sense of what it is you want and need to do – take a deep breath, have a glass of wine, revel for a moment in the clarity you have found.  Then communicate your thoughts – write them down, tell a colleague, share them with your team.  And this is where it gets a little tricky – remember that a goal is only as achievable as the objectives that support its completion.  Objectives are the discreet, actionable steps that are taken to make a goal attainable.  For big picture people this is definitely the harder of the two steps, for it’s where you break it all down into timelines, responsibilities and commitments.  When you write objectives, use verbs that imply movement – there is no room for the passive voice in the world of achieving goals!  I realize that this is no easy challenge I’m throwing out into cyberspace, but I believe that you can take your dreams, your unspoken hopes and turn them into concrete goals with clear, defined steps.  Perhaps the dreaming part is more romantic; the realization of a dream is more fulfilling and enriching.  And one of the gazillion wonders of life is that we can dream many dreams, understand where our values and life choices intersect and create as many story boards as we want to help chart our path.  And that, is pretty damn terrific

humor, leadership, life lessons, management, Uncategorized, work life

E.T. Management – Part 1

There’s a lot to be learned about management from going to the movies.  Much of what I needed to know about the basics of working with people, I learned from “E.T’.  To risk an attenuated blog (for a change), I’ll provide you with the abbreviated version.  We can write each other about it as thoughts come to mind…

1.  It’s the things we don’t know that scare us the most.  Once we face an issue head-on, it typically casts a more comfortable shadow.

2.  Don’t discriminate against anyone just because they’re not like you.  They may be better.

3.  The Platinum Rule trumps the Golden Rule – treat others as they wish to be treated, not necessarily in the way in which you think they want to be treated.

4.  M&Ms can improve a bad day.

5.  People communicate differently.  The first step is to figure out whether or not you understand what someone is trying to tell you and where s/he is coming from (ok, pun intended).

6.  Most of us have a Plan A; it’s essential to have a plan B.

7.  If you can’t get past an obstacle, enlist the help of others and try hitting it head on or jumping right over it.

8.  Love and profit can exist in the same sentence.

9.  If you go too far afield from your authentic self, compromise too many values and distance yourself from what you know is right for you, it’s time to get back to an environment where you thrive.

10. Phone home.

leadership, management, mindfulness, motivation, music, work life

The Rhythm Of Leadership (even if you’re tone deaf)

“Where you lead/I will follow/Anywhere that you tell me to…”  Ah, Carole…I was a rabid follower – Carole, James, Laura, CSN&Y.  I followed them (and others) because I loved their music, their words, the way I felt when I sang along (some of my fondest memories include sitting in my friend Allie’s house eating Cadbury wafers and singing..she had a pure, clear soprano; I had a rich and sincere baritone, sorta).

I followed a speaker at a peace rally in NY after the Kent State shootings. He spoke Spanish (I didn’t), but the passion and conviction of his words crossed the barrier of my linguistic ignorance (ok, he was cute too).  Following him to the subway to head home, we both got pipe-whipped by some indignant construction workers – the commitment I had to him almost justified the consequences.  I will admit it was embarrassing to have to stop at my pediatrician’s office for some salve before heading to a production of ‘Damn Yankees’ at school that night (the closest I will ever come to being a baseball player).

I followed one of my professors from grad school as avidly as one might a guru.  He was so incredibly smart, funny, intuitive (a good quality for a psychologist) and persistently coaxed me to figure out how I was going to best care for my two splendilicious babies and myself in the face of some very real personal challenges.  He encouraged me to figure out how to re-take control of my life.  How do you thank someone for that?  Live your life well and pay it forward, I guess.

And I followed my boss for 22 years.  I was inspired by his confidence in me, relentless teasing, incredible work ethic, integrity and generous heart.  He wanted results and accountability and expected more of himself than anyone else, which somehow drove me to try and keep pace.  Lucky for me, he is now a dear friend who has also retired from the firm.

There is a nexus between the leadership qualities I learned from those whom I have followed and the music that plays in my mind all the time.  There is a rhythm to the dynamics between and among people, a way that we try to maximize the strengths and talents of our people so that together, the orchestration is full and rich.

If you supervise people and as such are responsible for leading others, do you ever think about those who you once followed?  Why did you follow them?  What were the qualities that you most admired in the people who shaped your professional success and enhanced your development?  What were the deal breakers?  If you strove to emulate any one of them, what elements would be of greatest importance to you?  Imagine holding the conductor’s baton gently and assuredly in your hand as the orchestra warms up.  Your job is to make the music of your work days reflective of the talents of those waiting for your guidance, watching for your timing and interpretation of the notes.  I was once compared to Mr. Holland, the character from “Mr. Holland’s Opus” – a higher compliment could never have been bestowed upon me in the world of work.  At least not for me.  The sections of the orchestra parallel the unique talents of those with whom you work.  Lead them with the qualities and dedication evidenced in those you once followed.  The magic of that music will always remain in your head – and theirs.