More A Musing Than Aha Moment

Hi my friend,

The heat is so unrelenting these days, that it’s quite the challenge to run errands or a marathon for that matter. Ok, a bit of a 26+ mile stretch, for I have never even entertained the thought of doing a marathon. I am truly in the presence of my spirit animal – a sloth. Even putting keystrokes together to form this post has been more of a hunt-and-peck exercise than a flowing string of words.

And this has nothing to do with what I’m thinking about.

A long long time ago, in the days B.R. (Before Retirement), I read a survey about trust. The question posed to the participants asked who they trusted more – their parents, a teacher, a religious leader, or the Internet. And yes, the majority felt that they trusted the Internet above all else. I found that very unsettling, and yet when speaking in front of a diverse audience, there was little surprise (but for the parents, for obvious reasons).

I’m sure that time has changed this result, or at least I hope it has. At the end of the day, what does the Internet offer that makes it so trusted? Algorithms – reflections of the people who offer up personal information – wittingly or otherwise. And why? Because when asked, the internet offers up unconditional support as few relationships can and this is what we’re seeking.

Here’s a few things I can tell about you – without even knowing you. You have had some difficult times in your life and you have faced those times with courage and determination; you miss someone very much and would welcome the chance to speak to them again; you are empathetic and intuitive, yet don’t suffer fools; you are protective of your family and friends; you are an incredible person…

How’d I do? These are some of the comments you will find if your curiousity makes you answer one of the FB quizzes. And for a brief moment, you’re validated in some way, It’s a little like a palm reader telling you your married and you nod with enthusiasm at her prescience, rather than acknowledging that your wedding ring was on.

And look, if knowing that your emblematic song is “I Will Survive” or “Bridge Over Troubled Water” – that’s great. Just understand that this defines all of us at some point or another..

My friend Lissie Altman (author of Poor Man’s Feast and Motherland) included the following poem Intimate Invitation by David Whyte. And yes, it moved me to tears as I was reading because at core, it articulates what we all really want. To feel that none of us are alone; that the human condition can be totally enervating and there are times when you just want to lay it all down – and that’s ok. We’re still going to be waiting for you – trust this.

You forget

how, even when

you are barely

mobile,

even when

you feel bereft

of any horizon,

and even when

without faith

you felt held back

and afraid to move

even a little,

you can still be like

the beauty

we see in winter ice

just

beginning to

break and flow.

You forget

how you can see

the brave outline

of a single leaf.

How the stream

of clouds in the sky

can run right through you.

And the sun on your skin

seems to pass right through

to some inner completion.

And because

after all this time

you live and have lived

for so long without faith

in your own joys and your own grief.

You live daily

saying ‘love’

as if it were still far away.

But come here now,

into the arms of the waiting world,

put down that heavy burden

you have carried so long

and rest

from the hard everyday labour

of not hurting,

or not feeling,

or not hearing,

or not saying

or seeing.

Stop keeping the tears at bay.

give it all up,

just come home.

And never doubt – we got you.

Sending love always, m