anxiety, faith, life lessons, politics, Ukraine,

What’s going on?

Hi my friend,

I hesitate to open this letter with an inquiry as to how you’re doing, for I think I know.  You are struggling to stay away from the news, yet realize the importance of knowing what’s going on, your head aches with the insistent rhythm of a drum (one of the big ones), tears arrive unexpectedly – part sorrow, part fury.  You cling to the faith in your soul, yet worry that faith may not be enough.  You worry, you fret, you feel the breath of your mom on your neck.  No, I’m sorry about that last part – that’s my mom having a PTSD episode in the afterlife, and reminding me to remember too.

We shake our fists at the sky, we donate money to so many causes that it’s possible we will become a cause ourselves, we pray silently and constantly.  Our impotence is matched solely by our desire to make it better.  I wrote yesterday that it’s like yelling into a window fan.  When I was a kid, I used to stand on Roosevelt Avenue underneath the elevated subway and sing a note as loud as I could without opening my mouth too wide just to see how loud I could voice my frustratons without anyone looking at or hearing me (I didn’t want to scare anyone).  There are no elevated subways in North Carolina, so I’ve sort of screwed myself out of an emotional outlet.

So, we commiserate you and I – Putin is wrong, Trump has defrauded the government (and to those who disagree with me – so be it – but it’s been common knowledge for years)…if you’re lucky, your children turn into the kind of adults you always wished them to be, love as a verb is far better than love as a noun or adjective.  I could go on – but it’s probably better if you do this exercise yourself.

It seems like we are all going off half-cocked with our own egocentric responses to the moments before us.  Our need to control a narrative that has gone off the rails.  We grow more prideful, more adamant in our positions because we can’t be wrong.  Criss Janis has a great thought – “Pride is pride not because it hates being wrong, but because it loves being wrong:  To hate being wrong is to change your opinion when you are proven wrong; whereas pride, even when proven wrong, decides to go on being wrong”.

Is this where we are?  We refuse climate change, we deny civil rights to discreet populations because of some narcissistic need that has nothing to do with the people being harmed?  We repeat the atrocities of the past – not because we refuse to learn – but because we can’t be wrong? Seriously?

Ah my dear, I have raged for too long, with little to offer as a prescription – it’s time to bring this to a close.  But you know me – I have to sign off with some attempt at grace.  I stll maintain that we are a glorious species (if misguided and prideful),  with gifts to offer each other that are indescribably beautiful and the brilliance to put the sun to shame.  I am grateful you are here, I am beyond fortunate that we are friends, and today, right at this moment, feels like singing under the elevated.  Sending you much love…

32 thoughts on “What’s going on?”

  1. You put words and thoughts together that ring so true, so eloquent. They fall like snowflakes and cover the issue with meaning that packs a punch. Well done sweetheart!

  2. Even after all these years, you are in still in my head! I struggle with all of these things and more. Ironically, as I read your post and write this response, I am enjoying our favorite breakfast while one former Lathamite sleeps in my guest room and another is texting me.

    1. Paulie!!! Still in your head? I sure I hope so – for you are forever in my heart sweetie – you know that, I hope. I can’t tell you how often I think about you, knowing that if we were having a cup of coffee, we would be commiserating mightily and with a whole heckuva lot of emotion. Sending mega-love to you and John and to whoever is sleeping in your guest room and texting you…enjoy breakfast!! Xo

  3. I try to focus on the stories of the generous, caring people of Poland who donate their strollers and bring families into their homes. Like Mr Rogers said, I look for the helpers.

  4. Bravo! Wonderful post and you captured the sentiment. I touched briefly (oh so briefly) on my post today about the frustration, the innocents and the lack of compassion. It’s very overwhelming. To think that people whined about wearing masks when they had a home, food and no direct threats (other than the virus). Perspective baby.

    1. Hi Dale, Thank you so much for your thoughts (kindred souls sharing angst)…it’s a bit of a challenge ending on a high note, but I think we have to…hugs, m

  5. Mimi, you have way of hitting the nail on the head! Thank you for pitting into words the feelings in my heart!

  6. Sus!! I can’t believe you’re here – and I’m so glad you are. Such strange times, such frightening times…and there’s no making sense of it…i love you…xoxo

  7. I hear, read and see good things about people accomplishing great things in little pieces, still, Mimi, as they do and help in small situations, you betcha. The big picture, however, continues to overwhelm!

  8. Thanks for this post of yours, Mimi, as David said … that finish was beautiful. Thank you also for the visit to our recent post, Hello Again, Hello through the recent 3bones repost. If 3b wasn’t so lazy this post of yours today would be another candidate for him to repost, methinks! It seems that many of his WP friends that he thought “may have abandoned him” still come out when he does post (or repost) and Like, Comment, etc, etc, etc. Thank you again for the Like … and 3b sends best wishes as well … Keith

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