Hi my friend,
I came across this card the other day and wanted to send it to you…and you…and you..and keep it for myself as well. The inside flap is blank, but on the front of the card, the following is printed without attribution-
“‘Finding yourself’ is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten-dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. ‘Finding yourself’ is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you.”
The thought of emotional excavation seems like a Herculean lift. Perhaps you find it easier to avoid the process – totally understandable, if a little lazy. Perhaps you fear what’s at the real core – although I have a feeling that the core is undoubtedly fantastic. Admittedly, we all dig a bit, we all have a hazy picture of who we are, but when we have to let go of the protections we have built, we stop. Far too much of a risk, maybe.
Here’s what I know – none of us are that good, and all of us are perfectly imperfect. None of us have arrived at adulthood without totally pissing some people off, stepping on our tongues unintentionally (and intentionally I guess), wishing for a few do-overs, and making emotional negotiations that may or may not be healthy. We all rationalize what we shouldn’t and overthink what isn’t in our control anyway.
We marvel at birdsong, look breathlessly at Dave’s photos (davidkanigan.com), weep at the thought of how we have punished the earth, love so hard it can make the heart truly ache and if we’re even slightly self-aware, know that we have been mysteriously blessed with precious people and moments in our lives. We are boastful and insecure; indignant and tentative. And at core, at that hidden core – there’s a lot worthy of a good look and a lot of forgiveness.
Maybe it’s time to unpack a bit, lighten the load and see what’s at the heart of your heart. You will be happily surprised at what you find. Go ahead – you can take the risk. Love, m