friendship, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness

Where’ve You Been?

“Bo Diddley Bo Diddley have you heard

My pretty baby said she was a bird.

Bo Diddley Bo Diddley where you been

Round the world, gonna go again” — (Elias McDaniel, songwriter)

I’ve been away a long time – or at least it feels like a long time.  Not sure whether I’m really back.  Blogger fatigue?  Not really.  More the sense that if I had nothing interesting to say, better to stay mum.  When I consult, I often say that if you put your bucket down a well for water and you get a bountiful supply, you’ll keep putting your bucket down that well.  If you put a bucket down a well and draw up dirt, how often are you going to return to that well?  Felt like a lot of dirt to me.  So I’ve been out dousing…

Serendipity, the universe, a smack upside the head – call it what you will.  I received a comment from a woman named Karen in response to my last blog.  I’m sharing it with you in part (you could check it out yourself, but it’s important to this little story to quote from it here).

“Dear Mimi,

I just found your blog and it could not have been better timed.  I find your writing to be so lyrical and admire your authenticity…I want you to know that you have made an impact on my life at a time when I needed inspiration and the strength to move forward; I lost my husband 18 most ago; we both had cancer at the same time.  8 weeks after his death I was diagnosed with a second cancer and went through 9 months of grueling treatment, alone, without my Beloved…[L]ife has a way of being arbitrary in how we learn the real lessons, yes?  Our life together was like a beautiful song – starting with an anthem of the wonder of finding one another, then verse after verse over 45 years playing out the excitement of creating a family, the expansiveness of gratitude for all our hearts could hold that spilled so lavishly onto us and those we held dear, and then even over the period of shock and awe, our determination to live in the ‘now’. to savor the tastes, the touches, the fragrances and sights of ordinary days.  Your writing has restored my soul, my heart, my mind and my body once again hear that beautiful song – the one we created together that chapter and verse comforts and sustains me, and the belief once again that though we ay not always cling to it, that the Universe is on our side, that it is Love that is always the answer to aching hearts.  Thank you Mimi, thank you.”

I was left humbled, silenced by such gratitude for something I didn’t realize I had done.  That Karen shared this with me – to give me such a generous gift.  I affected a life.  I. affected. a. life.  Is there a greater contribution one can offer – especially without any knowledge of doing so?  I am still awed.  I am still shaking my head and I am still so touched that my words helped this beautiful woman.  This beautiful woman who was willing to share her personal thoughts with me.

Flash forward to dinner with someone I used to know in high school and college.  Ok, we dated – but that was a lifetime ago and after forty years, it counts far more as someone who used to know you before you learned a lot about pretense and guile and the only games you could play were the most sophomoric ones.  Anyway, he mentioned a memory – I was 17 or so, and apparently was upset about something.  He asked me if he had done something to make me mad, was it about him, etc.  My response?  “You know, sometimes it’s not all about you.”

And here I’ve sat – with these two disparate, yet powerful moments in my hands.  I am heartened to know I still run true to form.  That I am still focused more on others than on myself.  It isn’t selfless believe me – it’s just where my comfort lies.

But do you realize that you change lives with your writing?  Those whom I follow devotedly, affect my day, my thoughts, expanding vistas and shrinking others that have been over-planted and tended.  You have changed my life.  And if we can do this with and for each other, are we not answering one of the highest of human purposes?  You matter.  You have made a difference.  You touch with tentative but determined intention.   How incredible is that?  We are here.  And when we hurt or thrill, when we cry or giggle – when we least expect it – we are gifted.


71 thoughts on “Where’ve You Been?”

      1. I hadn’t even walked through the door and she was on me: “Did you read it? Did you read it?” “Read what I said.” “Mimi’s post.” “No, I didn’t even get a notification!” (again). She “LOVES” your blog and today’s post, and of course, I do to. Welcome back friend. You are gifted…period.

      2. I really believe that if I ever met your wife, she and I would become fast friends…she may not be as prolific as you, but her words grab me every time. I’m glad this re-entry was ok and yes pal, it’s good to be so warmly welcomed back.

    1. You my friend, have been with me from the beginning (or at least damn close). And yes you have affirmed me in more ways than I deserve. How you have touched me – so often – and I never fail to marvel how your timing is always so perfect. xo

  1. Mitzvot. Is there anything more wonderful or glorious? I suspect that you are a tad bit more surprised than the rest of us. You, my dear friend, write symphonies with your words and can fill the Louvre with every single masterpiece. You. effect. many. lives. So glad you heard it from a stranger. Somehow it has greater impact. To the moon and back. All there is. Hope this means the Karma Truck will take to the road once again. With respect, love and admiration; just a few of the cornerstones of our friendship.

    1. Our friendship is founded on some mighty powerful cornerstones Jo…and how amazing is that? We don’t realize the affect we have on others around us – and how amazing it is when it is brought to our attention. To the moon and back..xo

  2. She’s baaaackkk, and now everybody can once again prosper as I do so regularly because of your presence. I love this girl. She is so sensitive, in touch, and perceptive that it can be scary at times. How did I ever get so lucky. Thanks Mimi.

    1. Oh my sweet – from the moment we took our vows, the rabbi reminded us that we are blessed – somehow it supercedes luck in my mind. And I love you – my anchor, willing to let me fly, but always keep ing a light hand on the string to make sure I don’t end up like Icharus. Love you with all I have – and then some.

  3. Mimi

    I have missed hearing from you. You do have a gift and it is from the heart. You are a wise woman to realize that when it is in you to do something you do it and when it is not, you do not…. very smart 🙂

    1. Hi Tina – I’ve been following you religiously during my absence – marveling at the gentle touch with which you impart your valuable life lessons about the workplace, life etc…Am I wise? I’m not sure – but to waste peoples’ time by reading regurgitated material seemed disingenuous. It’s good to be back..

  4. I can’t think of a better person who deserves such recognition for basically touching all our lives. I tell people you’ve been my blog mentor on this little journey and it sure is nice to see you back my friend! Maybe you’ll light a fire under my butt now seeing as I’ve been so idle the last little while. Once again…Well deserved and as usual, very well said!

    1. Ah Kimmie, sometimes we all need to take a break and re-group. Don’t you beat yourself for one moment for being a little less prolific. Take the time you need, and don’t for one moment feel badly that you want some down time. We’ll all be here whenever you’re ready..xo

  5. So great to hear from you again Mimi. Your bucket/cup runnith over. It always has and always will with me. You’re messages are at the very least, always very inspirational. How wonderful that Karen found you to lift her up at the hardest moments in her life. I think your words touch us all in the same wonderful way.

    1. Hi Fran – I feel so lucky that the words I had written were helpful to Karen..I know I have been so touched by the words of others..including yours. I hope all is well and that you are happy and looking forward to the holiday season…xox

  6. It doesn’t surprise me (and obviously, many others) that you, simply and genuinely being you, affect people profoundly. How blessed you are to possess this gift and to share it generously and unconditionally. This lone wolf senses and appreciates the depth of ‘the right moment’ and what you choose to share via your thoughts and words. Thank you for being just who you are. What flows from you, Mimi, as a source of inspiration, is transcendent.

    1. Ah Eric, your words went straight to my heart, and I hope that I can live up to this perception you have, for it is so generous. Don’t we all possess the gift to affect others and is there anything more fulfilling than that? I appreciate your comments tremendously and thank you so so much for your kind and gracious words.

      1. Indeed we all possess the gift to affect others, Mimi. In my heart, there is little more fulfilling than giving freely of that with which we’ve been blessed. I like to think of myself (and others who do this) as willing conduits.

  7. Ahhh….so much so much. I am not sure where to begin, but first, whenever you find your way to this space is awesome. And when you need to pull back, that’s ok too. I am moved and humbled by your friend Karen’s life, love and and well, just her way. I cling to that. And you, yes, you have affected a life. Hers we see by way of her beautiful message, and I know, mine. You are gift. And to then remind us of this amazing thread we have all created and continue to weave each and every day we share something from our funny bone, reflective thoughts, pain, growth, curiosity or just things that capture our attention…sublime! xoxo

    1. Hi BonBon, well at least we haven’t been absent from each other during this down time of mine. Ironically I don’t know Karen and have never met her – which is what made her comments all the more wondrous to me (and she does have a beautiful way of writing doesn’t she)..How we have affected each other’s lives is amazing – and how we impact people we don’t even know – I don’t know, hopeful? Awakening the possibility that we all could impact one person profoundly each day, and the ripple effect would be amazing. Thank you for the gift of you..xox

  8. I * thought* I heard a horn in the driveway, and when I peeked out the window, sure ’nuff, it was that precious Karma Truck comin’ around the bend. 😊 You are gifted, honey, and such a precious gift to so many, myself included. You have such a wise, gentle way of sifting the wheat from the chaff in so many instances, and all who have been privileged enough to grab a seat on the bus are forever grateful. You are a blessing. Full. Stop. Xoxxox

    1. We talk about this a lot you and I – how we are blessed with our friendship, our lives, our moments of awareness that leave us with a tear on our cheek and a powerful silence. Two peas in a pod Lori – proudly so and yes blessedly so. xoxo

    1. It’s good to see you Beth (tho’ I’ve been following you during my silent episode). Thank you for your warm and welcoming words – how mind-boggling to think of the affect our words have on each other!

  9. Ah. That is my comfort sound. Happier. A little more relaxed than a few moments ago.

    You are back, Mimi. Don’t doubt it.

    Thank you for deciding you once again had something to say to us. Your friends out here. It was a mindful of wise words related to life in your special way, making connections and ties that are singular yet familiar. Beautiful stories woven together today, Mimi. And we got to meet your marvelous Andy in the comment section, too. A bonus on your return.

    1. Hi my friend, Smiling as I read your words, could imagine what you would sound like (sorta), where you would put the emphasis…Just seeing your name was welcome enough – it feels like a homecoming in some way. Thank you for being here upon my return. And yes – you ‘met’ Andy and he is truly marvelous – even when we’re driving each other a little batty – he’s my guy..

      1. You do know how I sound, Mimi. Same roots feeding the sappling in the New York City area and then a stop some feeding in the D.C. area. Flattened out in Syracuse, but some vowels and consonants stay in my soup forever. Wow, I mixed my metaphors for you there, kiddo. That’s what happens when I’m happy to see somebody. 🙂 You and Andy enjoy the little batty. That’s a great thing, no?

  10. dear Mimi,

    I cannot thank you enough for your response to my comment, and for sharing it with this magnificent tribe of such loving, generous, talented, and adoring people who have welcomed you back with such joy. the mutual feelings shared, those of one life imploded with such a gutting ache, and the other life so receptive to the awareness of the power, the miracle of what can be realized through words of connecting and responding to words of profound grief with such astonishing humility, clarity, truth, hope, empathy and celebration leaves me breathless with gratitude. I am beginning to feel the gentle, yet still unformed shift of transition, the one that will perhaps lead me to drink the sweet waters of renewal, the refreshment of mind, body, soul, and heart along with the hope of finally seeing, feeling, desiring and aspiring to drink deeply from the nourishment of the bounty of provisions that are here for us every single day. returning to a life that is meaningful and has purpose, that helps me get outside of the self centricity that is part of and necessary to grieving, but does not always have to be it’s theme is something I look forward to, even with some measure of trepidation. I will come back to you, Mimi, and read your words and always think of the meant-to-be-ness in finding you. I send you my love, I send you big hope for all you are wishing for, and will hold you close to my heart with such marvel and admiration for you being wonderful you.

    much love and light to you, dear Mimi.

    Karen xxoo

    1. Hi Karen,
      I would submit that we will come back to each other, for had it not been for your comments, I likely would not yet be back in this forum. Whatever I gave you, you gave me back manifold. Needless to say, I think of you often, wondering how you are, whether the waters that day are calm or roiling and sending a message out to the universe to please treat you with care..much love Karen, always…Mimi

  11. Hi Mimi
    i’ll be honest with you, i haven’t been a hailing follower of your blog. Infact a funny thing happened this morning
    i check my inbox and had received a notification for your new post there.
    it was named ‘where have i been?’ and happens to be that i had made a post with a similar title a few days back. As i was half asleep i thought that it was a comment that somebody made on my post. as i read it i realized that wasn’t the case. That’s how i read your post today.
    Honestly i could feel a connection in your writing. Plz don’t ever stop. your doing a wonderful thing and your helping a lot of people in your own impromptu ways. Like you helped me today.
    take care!
    now i’m gonna take a tour of your blog and read everything you’ve ever posted! haha , bye
    Good to have you back

    Forum Damani

    1. And I am going to visit yours later today! What an ironic connection (two posts with the same name)! I’m so glad you serendipity stepped in!! Thank you!

  12. What a gift that you were able to get a glimpse into one of the unknown lives you’ve effected. Your post is encouragement for all of us to keep doing what we do — express ourselves authentically– because it could have a positive impact on someone else. And isn’t that what it’s all about?

    1. An amazing gift that I will truly cherish. And yes, isn’t that what it’s all about. Affecting people in a positive way – one moment at a time whether you ever know it or not. It all boils down I think to the type of person you want to be..Thank you so much for stopping by!

  13. Mimi, wow, all the scrolling and reading to get to the point of being able to welcome you back! May you never doubt the power of your writing, your sharing, your opening up to us. This post, and every one before…powerful, influencing, shaping lives. Great to have you back.V

    1. Hi Vicki, It is so gratifying to be so warmly welcomed back, you have no idea. That there are people still following this blog – which has been silent for a month now – blows me away. Thank you for hangin’ in with me..

  14. Oh Mimi, such a beautiful lady that inspired you to write again. Her comment is a jewel and one that I know you will hold dear in the days and years to come. You too, are a jewel and you do write so very well. I hope that now you will strike those computer keys again at times when you feel inspired and it need not be on a regular basis. Just write from the heart as you have always done and your followers and admirers will be glad. ~yvonne

    1. Thank you Yvonne – I don’t think we are ever aware of the affect we can have on others – even those we have never met. And yet, I have been deeply impacted by posts I have read, moments in time that I have witnessed from a distance, acts of generosity with no expectation in return..And that is what will keep me tapping on my keys. The gift that I was given far eclipses anything I gave. But I am so happy that I was able to provide Karen some comfort at the right time…

  15. What a gift you are, Mimi. And isn’t it an amazing gift to know that you touch someone else’s life in such a way? I so love your writing and have missed you. I knew you were out there from the “likes,” and as LouAnn said, even if for another day, I’m so glad you posted this.

    Hugs, Dear Mimi.

  16. It’s funny, cause I see you so often on David’s blog Mimi and have been checking if you are back on yours, as you have a lot to give. As I can see, I am not alone!! Welcome back and I look forward to more if your posts.
    Karen x

    1. Hi Karen! Thank you so much…I am ‘following’ your blog as you know and find it enriching and inspired. Thank you for stopping by – and look forward to ‘seeing’ you soon. 😉 m

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