So Lucky Saturday
26 May 2012 20 Comments
in humor, inspiration, life lessons, love, mindfulness, parenting Tags: children, growing up
I don’t think I have more fun than hanging with my kids. Last night two of the three plus daughters-in-law were here for dinner, celebrating a birthday and anniversary (not mine). Easing into the weekend with a lot of laughter, some serous sidebars and multiple chances to wrap my arms around these amazing people who I love with all that I have and then some.
Adult children don’t necessarily say adorable, wondrous things that can delight both parent and reader. Their bodies no longer resemble the round, magically smelling perfection that I can still remember with all my senses. They have to bend down to kiss me – a completely inverted calculation. And yet, as often as we see each other (which is thankfully, often), as easily as we still share the thoughts in our heads and the secrets of our hearts – I am always left in tears when they head back to their homes. I cry with gratitude – they are the most remarkable people; I cry with disbelief, for I truly don’t know where the time has gone (I mean really – have you seen me lately? Who would think I would have a 30, 28 and 25 year old) and I cry because every time they go away, I want to keep them with me. Corny stuff, huh? I know, but there is no other way for love like this to be articulated – we’re past poopy diaper jokes, dirty baseball uniforms and unexpectedly found condom wrappers. What we’re left with is a perfectly imperfect family, that continues to return to itself to restore, renew and reaffirm this story which is as old as time itself.
My boys…my boys…
You Made It!!
25 May 2012 15 Comments
in friendship, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness Tags: Barbecue, Memorial Day, USA
If you’re traveling this weekend, be safe. If you’re hanging out this weekend, relish it. Whatever you do, laugh a lot, eat yummy stuff, revel in the love of your family and friends. If you’re barbecuing – make sure you have charcoal or propane before you’re ready to grill. Sleep in, rise early. Relish that you have the choice. Whatever you do – enjoy. And for my son, who was in Baghdad a few short years ago – I will take a moment to be grateful for those who have served the USA with courage, conviction and enormous sacrifice. For my dad and my father-in-law, I will pause and honor the reality that as young kids they enlisted en masse to end a war that was to end war. And I will also bow my head and wonder for a little while, why we can’t learn from history.
This is a crazy world we live in – enjoy your weekend to the max!
The-Thursday-Before-The-Friday-Of-A-Long-Weekend
24 May 2012 29 Comments
in work life, management, mindfulness, humor, leadership, training, inspiration Tags: Workweek and weekend, accountability
This is the kind of day where people either squeeze as much work into their day as possible so that they can leave the office early tomorrow or begin coasting because the prospect of a long weekend is so tempting there’s little else to think about. Either way you go (and I would venture to guess that there are very few who defiantly reside somewhere in the middle), own your day. Everyone has times when they just can’t intensely focus on the work in front of them. Conversely, our concentration is not always laser-like, powered by energy and commitment. Just raise your hand and own it – so that others don’t feel isolated by your focus or annoyed at your laissez-faire, possibly misunderstanding your actions completely.
It’s funny how such candor is anathema in the workplace. Somehow it’s not ok to have an ‘off’ day. That just defies reality. Rather than reflecting authenticity, people will try to maintain an illusion of busy-ness at all times. One of the many things I loved about most of the people I worked with was their willingness – and trust in me – to be able to admit when their heads were elsewhere, if a project was just sapping their enthusiasm, or if they were crushing to make a deadline and needed more hands. I have no illusions looking back, which is why I inserted the word “most”. I had my share of coasters and boasters, people who were hell-bent on kidding me almost as much as they were kidding themselves. I still believe that allowing people the room to move within the rhythm of their lives when possible is the far better way to go. I was able to keep my headcount low, people cross-trained and facile by creating an environment which emphasized personal ownership of the day ahead. And laughter – yeah, there was a lot of laughter. And an enormous amount of individual and collective effort. All it took was encouraging people to raise their hands.
“Bridesmaids” Management Lessons
23 May 2012 17 Comments
in discretion, humor, inspiration, leadership, management, motivation, work life Tags: Kristen Wiig, Harvard Business Review
I know, it’s been awhile since I shared with you the many management lessons I learn while at the movies. Yet as I watched Kristen Wiig dance her good-byes on SNL last Saturday, I remembered all that I gleaned from the deeply thoughtful, multi-layered and dare I say profound movie “Bridesmaids”. Perhaps not as obtuse as Bergman, but this was her first screenplay after all. I am sure this hasn’t been covered by Harvard Business Review because they are still debating the finer points of the movie. So, I will offer them up first because I need not discuss this with anybody before I publish it…
1. Just because you hand-pick some people to be part of your team, until they achieve a consistent rhythm of accomplishment through collaboration, they are merely a group. It’s best to engage (ha – no pun intended) people with different personalities and strengths, for the synergy will be heightened. So do the odds of potential discord – your challenge involves keeping everyone on track and focused on the goal. If a group is left on their own too soon, they may go out for tainted food and spend the afternoon in the bathroom. Not a very productive outcome.
2. Drinking is not a productive bonding activity. As someone who used to conduct seminars on an employer’s commitment to equal employment opportunities and sexual harassment prevention, many of the examples provided involved social/work situations and alcohol. When you’re with the team and when they’re with each other, everyone is on the company clock. As inconvenient as that may be, it’s also the reality of the workplace. Maybe you should consider bowling?
3. Don’t accept medication from people you don’t really get along with.
4. Realize that trust is an earned emotion and do whatever you can to make sure that it is never compromised. I’ve often said that it is the foundation of every successful relationship – professional or personal. It is also indicative of behavior that is consistent, reliable, informed and well-intended. Most critically though – it is fragile – and difficult to restore when broken.
5. Friends don’t let friends wallow. Neither do really good supervisors. Before you write-off a well-established employee, make sure you know whether a decline in performance is a result of a recent change in circumstances. If you can help him/her – do so. Performance does not sustain on a consistently positive trajectory – life gets in the way, bad days gets in the way, tragedy gets in the way. We have to move past the perception that everyone’s performance gets better and better and better every day, month, year. It’s just not true.
One last thought, unless you’re Melissa McCarthy I don’t recommend trying to pick up a U.S. Marshall when traveling on business.
What you do on your own time, is entirely up to you.
Next movie moment? Not sure – I’m thinking ”Star Wars” or “Snakes On A Plane”…More movie and management reviews to come…
Will Your Way Through Wednesday
23 May 2012 4 Comments
in humor, life lessons, mindfulness
Three days of rainy, humid, grey makes the appeal of pulling my covers over my head very seductive. I need to find my ‘embrace the moment’ spirit … sigh, maybe after coffee. The good news is – we made it to Hump Day and I feel it is my duty to at least start your day with a smile. And if you don’t feel like smiling – try – it makes your endorphins happy (and if you’ve never seen a happy endorphin, you’re really missing something)..
Tuesday Teases
22 May 2012 7 Comments
The sun will play second fiddle to the rain and clouds again today. I guess the choice is to turn over and go back to sleep or start the day with a smile and accept that my hair will frizz, I’m going to get wet and I won’t melt. Here’s a morning smile for you…
Creating A Masterpiece
22 May 2012 18 Comments
in inspiration, leadership, management, mindfulness, motivation, training, work life Tags: John Ruskin, leadership, motivation, work life
There’s a quote from John Ruskin that has been teasing me for the last few days…”When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.” I love the message, and think we often lose or sacrifice one of these two elements in the workplace. I know what you’re thinking, ‘ are you really going to raise the spectre of love as an essential element of creation at work?’ Yup, I am. Before you leap to disagree though, think about your best professional years – or moments – and what they required from you.
Certainly success involves skill – though arguably every success is not a masterpiece. And not every act of love – as well intended as it may be – elicits a feeling of success. If there is no love for what you commit to doing on a daily basis, I think your efforts are diluted by its absence. And at least in the areas of work that I know well, there seems to be less attention given to loving what you do, and a skewed emphasis on just getting it done. A friend of mine asked me recently where the ‘humanism’ in management has gone. After participating in a panel discussion at a well known law firm, she was struck by the comments of young associates who attended the session. Their expectations of upper management were narrow and indifferent, acknowledging that these first years in ‘big law’ required many hours of work, but little of the relational connectedness that makes the ridiculous time commitment worthwhile. The concerns for their development were formulaic, the environment rich in superficial attention (if you’ve never been in the offices of big law, you’re missing some pretty magnificent work spaces) and sorely lacking in emotional investment. We’re not talking about daily ‘kumbaya’ moments, rather the contagious, energizing sense that people were engaged in doing work that they loved.
The workplace in general is delicately positioned right now – on the one hand, employers want their people to do more with less; however less and less time is being spent considering what new ideas or programs can be put into play to engender enthusiasm and passion for individual effort. So if you love the profession you’re in, and little is done to foster that indescribably powerful motivator, love will morph over time into benign acceptance. The reality is that at some point each of us has the ingredients to create a masterpiece. As a manager, director, chief officer, etc – what are your responsibilities to develop and/or sustain the professional and personal inventories from which your people can draw to create a masterpiece? Or in the interest of production, does it even matter any longer that people love what they do? Personally, I’ve done my damnedest to foster both love and skill instead of accepting skill and personal interest every time. What about you?
Must Be Monday
21 May 2012 4 Comments
I couldn’t resist the picture….And so the work week begins – with a groan, some disbelief and at least one hit of the snooze button…Wherever the week leads you – hope you have a great one!
Sincerely Sunday
20 May 2012 14 Comments
in friendship, inspiration, life lessons, mindfulness
The coffee is brewing a bit too early, but that’s ok…It’s Sunday. The day is mine to do whatever I want – even go back to sleep in a couple of hours. The sole requirement is that I recognize the gift of having those choices. I hope those who I nominated for the Beautiful Blogger award are pleased that I did so – I realized after the fact, that some may find it intrusive. Please know my intent was to applaud your work.
Anyway, if I can’t catch the reflection of a rainbow in my hands today, I can marvel at the prospect of doing so one day, and be happy that the day is bringing sunshine. I hope wherever you are, your Sunday unfolds with gentle grace and treats you well. Sincerely Sunday…
What A Surprising Saturday!
19 May 2012 17 Comments
in friendship, inspiration, life lessons Tags: awards, paying it forward, WordPress
I want to extend my big thank yous to Genie for nominating me for the Beautiful Blogger award. I’m a total novice when it comes to receiving awards (although I did practice my acceptance speech for an Oscar many times when I was a kid), so I am going to be quite dutiful in fulfilling the requirements for this award. GenieSpeaks at WordPress is a love-filled, candid blog written with Genie’s incredibly generous spirit. I admire her faith, optimism and ability to see the wonder in the smallest of moments. Thank you again Genie!
I now have the pleasure of nominating seven others – and it is hard to select just seven, considering how many people’s work I admire…May I say – this is really hard. With that caveat, here goes..
Lead.Learn.Live
Manage Better Now
Marie Overfors, freelance writer
Help Me Rhonda
Missunderstood Genius
Girl On The Contrary
DonnaandDiablo
The Book Of Alice
That’s eight – I’m sorry! But tis better to err on the side of generosity than miserliness, right? I have to include the following blogs, because I really love them too: supertucksmama, This Man’s Journey, Practical Practice Management, and manipal’s blog.
I’m not sure if all of these will directly link up – they are all on WordPress and they are all worthy of a visit from you. Thank you to Genie again!! Enjoy your weekend everyone!
OH!! I forgot – you wonderful nominees – please copy and paste the award onto your post, name the person who nominated you (c’est moi) and pay it forward by nominating seven other bloggers…oops!
