Hi my friend,
Yes, I have to cop to the fact that the title of this post is pretty poor. If you can think of something better, let me know š„“.
Spring is stirring here, which is amazing given that spring has yet to spring. But there is no denying that the forsythia are awake, some trees are beginning to unroll their leaves and lawns are hinting that something better is in their future. I feel that it would be remiss not to notice, given the sense of urgency that arrives with all of this activity and the silent request that we pay attention.
And yet, Iām not there yet. I still exist in this headspace that aches for a revival of ānewnessā. Yet, the fact remains that I ricochet between disbelief and fear, with some anger in the middle. Where is gratitude? Grace? Hopefulness? Iām trying, I really am. It feels like somewhere I turned in the wrong direction and am now living in a backward space. I know Iām not alone, I know that I have been lucky and blessed, and feel guilty that I donāt hang out in that reality more often.
āWhen one is in a messā¦one has no right to worry about the idiocy of oneās own psychology, but must do the next thing with diligence and devotion and earn the goodwill of others. In every littlest thing you do in this way you will find yourself. [Everyone has] to do it the hard way, and always with the next, the littlest, and the hardest things.ā Carl Jung
To paraphrase – suck it up buttercup.
So, Iāve started going to the gym (donāt pat me on the back, itās not a habit yet). Iām making a conscious choice to notice what is around me that is wondrous, and with a little diligence, can always see something. I am disillusioned by so much, my challenge is to balance that out with some good stuff too.
Small stepsā¦small steps. This is a new persona for me, thinking a bit like Lily Tomlin – āI worry no matter how cynical you become, itās never enough to keep up.ā Itās tough not to feel jaded and dismissive. Itās arguably what one is faced with these days. Small steps, small stepsā¦Iām not giving up with resignation; Iām heading straight for the spring.
Hope your day is great
Mimi
Waiting for the Karma Truck 
Hoping for rejuvenation here, too. It’s hard. Hugs.
Hugs backā¦and yes, itās hard
You are not alone.
Thank you, Kate
I think it’s condolences rather than thanks.
Fair point!
Oh honey, you have captured my state of malaise perfectly, as you always do. Like you, I AM gratefulā¦for my health, my family, my friends, my home, my work AND the insistent birdsong and bud that remind me a new season is nigh. And yetā¦the conversations that must be had with myself some mornings just to get out of bed are increasingly intense. I am like a gun shy dog when faced with the prospect of checking the morningās news, which has become a ceaseless whirl of āwhat fresh hell is this?ā
This morning was a perfect exampleā¦I went out for my morning walk, enjoyed a lovely encounter with a ruby red cardinal, soaked up the sunās first rays and reveled in the silence that marks the break of day. I came home with a full cup, only to learn that we had launched a war on Iran, at which point all solace flew out the window like so much dirty bath water. š
My conclusionā¦we must focus relentlessly on that which we can control and exercise the ole āLet Themā and āLet Meā mantra like thereās no tomorrow. Because at some point, there wonāt be, and I donāt want to have wasted my precious days on bullshit.
Love. You.
I guess as long as you focus more on the birdsong and less on the cacophony that the news trumpets (pun intended). It is hard to do; if it was easy weād be missing the point. Gratitude deserves to be savoredā¦small steps, sunshineā¦love, m
Iām all about baby steps -onward
Small steps, indeedā¦Thanks, Beth
A start is good, sticking with a good thing like going to a gym isn’t as easier, I hope you find the motivation to stick with it
Me too, Joanne. Thank you
youāve beautifully described my state of mind. With pessimism taking the upper hand each day, I try to push back with the small steps. Itās difficult Mimi.
Iām with you – small steps are all I can do, though I have to do it consciously or it will pass by unnoticed. You capture these gorgeous moments with your camera, and I have to think that youāre intentionally aware of what you see and how you see it. Perhaps youāre farther down the road, then you realize, my friend.
Thanks Mimi. Iām moment of the shot, āitā all drifts away. And thenā¦.
You string together magnificent moments. Whether the awareness is fleeting, the fact remains that you are always able to find it
Hi my friend…always puts a pep in my step to see you land in my inbox…thank you for alighting here today! I think you speak for many, and definitely me, with this post. The push-pull of “ok, I got this today, I got my to-do list, I’m ready, etc. etc…” and then, BAM, that gut punch of more bad news lands squarely in the middle of all motivation. The emotional whiplash is exhausting. But I remind myself that I am ok, even though WE are not ok. It is small steps indeed.
And Lori and David…ditto!
hi my friend…you always put a little pep in my step when you land in my inbox, so thank you for alighting here today! I couldn’t agree more…the whiplash of ‘ok, today, I’ve got this…my to-do list is ready, I feel like I can tackle the day” and then BAM – news drops that just squarely lands a gut punch to all motivation. I remind myself, I am OK, even though WE are not. And yes, baby steps. And in my mind, baby steps means, take a step, sit down, take a step, fall down. Take a step…And to Lori and David…ditto, a resounding ditto.
Hi Bonbon,
Seeing your name in my inbox makes me happy – before I even read your comments. I like the rhythm of your steps – I didnāt even include falling down and getting up. Perhaps thatās the key – how to handle the inevitable fall. And I guess as long as we get up, weāre muddling through. Great to āhearā from you – as alwaysā¦
Back at ya Mimi…keeping writing and hanging in there!
Jane
Thanks, Janeā¦
Proud of you. It’s nice to hear your voice.
Miss you, Liz..the pics of the wedding are fantasticā¦sending love
I came to say I feel much the same and find that I’m in good company with all your other commenters!
Good company indeed!āŗļø