Hi my friend,
Yes, I have to cop to the fact that the title of this post is pretty poor. If you can think of something better, let me know š„“.
Spring is stirring here, which is amazing given that spring has yet to spring. But there is no denying that the forsythia are awake, some trees are beginning to unroll their leaves and lawns are hinting that something better is in their future. I feel that it would be remiss not to notice, given the sense of urgency that arrives with all of this activity and the silent request that we pay attention.
And yet, Iām not there yet. I still exist in this headspace that aches for a revival of ānewnessā. Yet, the fact remains that I ricochet between disbelief and fear, with some anger in the middle. Where is gratitude? Grace? Hopefulness? Iām trying, I really am. It feels like somewhere I turned in the wrong direction and am now living in a backward space. I know Iām not alone, I know that I have been lucky and blessed, and feel guilty that I donāt hang out in that reality more often.
āWhen one is in a messā¦one has no right to worry about the idiocy of oneās own psychology, but must do the next thing with diligence and devotion and earn the goodwill of others. In every littlest thing you do in this way you will find yourself. [Everyone has] to do it the hard way, and always with the next, the littlest, and the hardest things.ā Carl Jung
To paraphrase – suck it up buttercup.
So, Iāve started going to the gym (donāt pat me on the back, itās not a habit yet). Iām making a conscious choice to notice what is around me that is wondrous, and with a little diligence, can always see something. I am disillusioned by so much, my challenge is to balance that out with some good stuff too.
Small stepsā¦small steps. This is a new persona for me, thinking a bit like Lily Tomlin – āI worry no matter how cynical you become, itās never enough to keep up.ā Itās tough not to feel jaded and dismissive. Itās arguably what one is faced with these days. Small steps, small stepsā¦Iām not giving up with resignation; Iām heading straight for the spring.
Hope your day is great
Mimi
Waiting for the Karma Truck 
Hoping for rejuvenation here, too. It’s hard. Hugs.
Hugs backā¦and yes, itās hard
You are not alone.
Thank you, Kate
I think it’s condolences rather than thanks.
Fair point!
Oh honey, you have captured my state of malaise perfectly, as you always do. Like you, I AM gratefulā¦for my health, my family, my friends, my home, my work AND the insistent birdsong and bud that remind me a new season is nigh. And yetā¦the conversations that must be had with myself some mornings just to get out of bed are increasingly intense. I am like a gun shy dog when faced with the prospect of checking the morningās news, which has become a ceaseless whirl of āwhat fresh hell is this?ā
This morning was a perfect exampleā¦I went out for my morning walk, enjoyed a lovely encounter with a ruby red cardinal, soaked up the sunās first rays and reveled in the silence that marks the break of day. I came home with a full cup, only to learn that we had launched a war on Iran, at which point all solace flew out the window like so much dirty bath water. š
My conclusionā¦we must focus relentlessly on that which we can control and exercise the ole āLet Themā and āLet Meā mantra like thereās no tomorrow. Because at some point, there wonāt be, and I donāt want to have wasted my precious days on bullshit.
Love. You.
I guess as long as you focus more on the birdsong and less on the cacophony that the news trumpets (pun intended). It is hard to do; if it was easy weād be missing the point. Gratitude deserves to be savoredā¦small steps, sunshineā¦love, m
Iām all about baby steps -onward
Small steps, indeedā¦Thanks, Beth
A start is good, sticking with a good thing like going to a gym isn’t as easier, I hope you find the motivation to stick with it
Me too, Joanne. Thank you