Although our anniversary isn’t until the 15th, we’re heading back to the mountains tomorrow to look at some real estate and see if there’s a weekend getaway home in our future. As you know, the connectivity up there isn’t perfect, so I’m posting this early.
We met because of children, had children of our own and have held onto our own immaturity for more than twenty years. Tess and Amanda – two of the most edible four-year olds in the universe became friends, their moms (our sisters) started talking about their siblings and a blind date (did I tell you I swore I would never go on a blind date, marry again, or risk more than required by serial monogamy?). We met at the harbor in Georgetown (I was waiting inside so I could see him before he could see me – moi? self protective?). I walked up to him and say “Hi, it’s me”. Andy insists he knew right away. I just knew he was very cute and interviewed me more thoroughly than any candidate I had ever spoken with in my HR career. Before we were done with drinks, he had gone through his checklist; I was just getting giddy. I was being interviewed! And I laughed – a lot. I still am.
Andy made plans – not just namby-pamby plans – concerts, trips to B&Bs, romantic restaurants. I was blown away. His generosity was unequivocal; he took notes the first time I was upset because he wanted to make sure he heard all I was saying. Honestly? That did it for me. No one had ever tried to listen that hard. Ironically, it’s not his strong point – but a lot is forgiven when you realize that this is the only person in the world who is going to make sense for you.
In twenty-one years you don’t have a tale that just offers giggles. We’ve had our share of challenges, distances and silences, days of doubt and frustration. Loss and anger, fear and uncertainty. My health issues have certainly thrown us for a loop on occasion. Me with my sneakers; Andy with his games. I read and escape in books; Andy plays pinball and darts. I was a parent driven by the word ‘yes'; Andy needed reasons to answer in the affirmative. I’m always early; he’s always late. We can make each other crazy and we will always have each other’s back. I have said before that he is the anchor to my kite – my tendency to fly away is far less precarious knowing that he is holding the string while he waits for me to come back to earth – so I will never get stuck somewhere from which I can’t return.
So after twenty-one years – which have flown in more ways than they have crept, I am beyond grateful and acutely aware of blessings, as corny as that may sound. I looked at him this morning and thought “my guy” – a thought I have had on more mornings than not. I’m still having a pajama party with my best friend – even if we are on different sleep schedules. We played impromptu charades in the driveway yesterday and ended up in hysterics. Whatever he maintains he knew when we first met, I was slower to embrace. But there is no doubt that we were brought together by familial love and have grown together with a bond that is cherished – both for its fragility and unbreakability. It’s a wonderful life, and a wonderful love. I love you Andy…